Monday, September 7, 2015

I'm so ready for the dramatic finale of #bachelorinparadise

I'm so ready for the finale of Bachelor in Paradise because it means that the new season of TV will start soon. The best part of this whole ridiculous show is "Almost Paradise" opening sequence.

Recapping where we start tonight... In an effort to make sure Jared did not go out with Jaclyn, Ashley I (KardASH) begged Chris Harrison for an overnight date card to give to Jared before he has a chance to answer Jaclyn.

KardASH thinks Jared may be the ONE. The one would be willing to go all the way with. Their date barely starts before she pulls out the fantasy suite card about foregoing their individual rooms. She's ready to get the date started. I would not be surprised if we start hearing "Let's Get it On" instead of this dramatic music.

Thankfully, we forego the rest of the night, and we wake up the next morning. Everyone is kind of tired of being there, I mean, they can't believe that paradise is almost over.

Mikey has a talk with some of the guys around the pool. He confesses that while Juelia is great, he needs to have a conversation with her. Mikey feels bad about it, but he doesn't see things getting outside the friend zone when they leave. He genuinely finds her to be nice and sweet, but isn't feeling the romantic spark. Juelia is wearing the most ridiculous fake eyelashes that may come off as she cries and wipes the tears away. He's on the verge of tears too.

Juelia runs off to the house and decides to tell everyone bye. She's ready to head home now. The women comfort her, and Tenley thinks she got led on by two men. As George Strait sings, "you can't make a heart love somebody." At least Mikey was honest about it.

Jaclyn is trying to figure out who to ask out. Jared got dragged off by KardASH, she thinks Nick is a sleeze, Mikey is as dumb as rocks, Dan doesn't have much personality, so Justin may be her best best since he just came off a crappy date. (Annoyingly, she has a fuzzy box following her butt around.)

I don't know if they are a good match or not, but they are the most unattractive two there.

Because the show needs more drama, Cassandra from Juan Pablo's season shows up. Like Samantha, all the men find her to be gorgeous. She has a date card, so she invites the girls (minus Samantha and Jacklyn) off to talk. 

The women ask who she is interested in talking to. She comes back and ask Justin out, but he needs to talk to her first. The problem is, he just got asked out. He's more interested in going out with Cassandra, in part because they are both parents. (You know my stance on parents and this show.)

Justin tells Jaclyn, he doesn't want to go out with her anymore. What should she do now.

Meanwhile, I can't follow the live feed right now because I'm over an hour behind. I wasn't ready to read some of those things yet.

Before we find out who is going with Jaclyn, KardASH and Jared return. Everyone wants to know what they did on their date and how it all went down. They don't say much. Jared seems over it.

Jaclyn says she would never be rejected by someone like Justin in the real world. Huh? Nick goes out to Jack to see if she will give him the date card so she can take Sam out. However, as the Taylor Swift song goes, "now we got bad blood." (I hate that song so much.) Nick did Jack dirty on Bachelor Pad a few years ago and basically got $250,000 as a results. Jack makes Nick roll around in the sand for the card.

Justin and Cassandra head off on their date. He is so turned on by Cassandra, he almost falls off of his horse. Later, they talk about their kids. She gets emotional because her ex is not as connected to her son as Justin is to his. Before long, they have a make out session on the beach because that's what you do on this show.

Samantha tells Tanner she may go home tonight, she'll know in the moment. But then, Nick takes Samantha off and asks her on a date. Carly and Jade can't figure out with all the drama while all the men are still fawning over her.

That night, everyone's talking about what the last week will be like - only couples who want to explore things after paradise.

We find out that KardASH watched Jared sleep last night, but it seems that's as far as it went. Jared is not interested in pursuing things after the show. He needs to talk to her again, and again he says, he is just not into this. He wants to leave now, tonight. It's not ok for him to stay here when he does not want to move forward from here. Jared wanted to feel something, but he doesn't. Here comes the ugly crying. KardASH is basically bemoaning the words of Jason Derulo. "You're the one I want to want me."

Jared goes to the group to tell them all that he's headed out, then KardASH tearfully tells him goodbye.

So much for that! On to Nick and Samantha's date. This is where I get board and multi-task and do things like look for buttons on HobbyLobby.com and think about how I really need to be crocheting.

Kirk and Carly are out alone on the beach, and she's talking about the future. She's sure that she'll be getting a rose tomorrow. She has no worries about going home.

As everyone is gathered that night, Amber says, "there's a lot of single girls here. If anyone is interested in anyone, speak up."

Mackenzie (I forgot she was here) is going to go see if anyone might give her the time of day. She plans to make the most of the cocktail party. That is until Chris Harrison says there's not going to be one. We're going straight to the rose ceremony. "Do you see a future with the person you are with?"

Carly predicts a blood bath. Will that be a predictor of anything?

KardASH explains that the one person she is interested in is now gone, but she grew up here, and learned a lesson from Tenley (something about a whimsical something or other). Now she knows what to look for in a man, and she's going to head on home.

So, the rose ceremony. Get or go home.

To start things off, there's Kirk. Up until now, every rose he has given Carly has meant something. He calls her up, and gives her the rose.

Tanner gives his rose to Jade.

Nick gives a rose to Samantha.

Joshua and Tenley sitting in a tree...

Justin chooses Cassandra.

Dan is up and doesn't know what to do. The girls he was most interested in were just given roses. Then, he gives a speech. (A paraphrase...) "Ashley, we had something for a couple of weeks, but it didn't work out. Amber, I know you came here for me, but there wasn't really anything there. I came here looking for love, but I didn't find it. I'm taking myself out of the game." That's when he walks off.

The final rose for the night belongs to Mikey. Carly thinks he should have left when Juelia did, but thinks he's going to do something stupid. He gives his rose to MacKenzie so he has a chance to get to know her better. She is caught off guard. She appreciates it, but has to go with her gut. He looks heartbroken as she tells him know. She gives Mikey a hug, then walks off. She wasn't getting a good vibe. So, it wasn't "Good Vibrations" of the Marky Mark or Beach Boys variety. So, since Mikey got rejected, he walks out.

It's time for Amber, Ashley S., Jaclyn, and Chelsie to go home.

Then, Carly sings something a rose being just a rose until you get down and propose, and Kirk looks super uncomfortable. Super.

The next morning, five couples are left, and it's supposed to be time for love. Everyone comments on how quiet it is now. Chris Harrison shows up to announce that each couple is going out on a date tonight, and there is an overnight option.

The girls gather to chat, and Cassandra, having just arrived, is nervous about the whole fantasy suite thing. Carly and Jade feel like they have nothing to worry about. Carly is looking forward to her date.

Kirk is freaking out. He tells the guys that he is having some doubts and can't do this anymore. Kirk needs to have a real talk with Carly. He's not ready for her to have his kids. He decides it is time. There's nothing she can say to change his mind.

Kirk walks up and asks Carly to talk. As he leads her away, she jokingly asks, "are you going to break up with me?"

All the women look down from their perch at Carly and Kirk on their platform. Like watching EVERYTHING. He starts off by thanking her for the best five weeks that he's had in a really long time. At first, the thought they would all go home like after summer camp, that it was a fling. However, he fell. They've been talking about the future - her being willing to move, etc. He's taken a hard look at where things are going. Kirk says he thinks he's a little behind. He's afraid he's a lot behind. He's not where she is when she sees the look on his face. She says, "ok, I'll go home." Then he tells her he doesn't want to discount what has happened, and he wants to talk more.

Carly doesn't understand where this is coming from. She doesn't want to continue the conversation. The look on her face says, "dumbfounded." She says she can't do this, can't have this conversation. She runs, and she is running. She feels tricked and wants to know how long she's been feeling this. He says, "the last week." She takes off running. The women, watching this, run down to her.

Kirk goes back to the men and says he doesn't know what's going on. "The anger in her eyes was scary. I feel like I got punched." Uh, ok, idiot, uh...

Kirk comes up to talk to her, and the women tell him that he shouldn't be there right now. Carly does not, repeat, not, want to talk to him. Kirk says she deserves a conversation. "Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you let me explain?" She says she can't even look at him. He wants to talk. Jade wants to protect her.

I give Kirk credit for wanting to talk to Carly. He never said he didn't care about her, just that he wasn't as ready. The women think he's evil for letting her fall in love.

In the car, he's crying because it was his worst break-up ever.

I really don't think he's as bad a guy as he's being made out to be. Was he supposed to fake it until he made it? Cold feet aren't the end of the world.

And that's where Sunday night ends.


Finally, the final episode of the season. The mood is somber after Kirk and Carly headed off. It’s going to be hanging over everyone as they head off on their dates. Jade starts to wonder if the same thing is going to happen to her and Tanner. Joshua is ready to get his date started.


It’s all so new for Justin and Cassandra to really know what to expect. Nick is second guessing how things might go down with Samantha who has flip-flopped. Tenley is trying to decide if she should break it off with Joshua for no real reason. She doesn't want to, but should she?

Samantha claims to be in it 100% with Nick, especially since they have been talking for a few months. They're all in on the fantasy suite.

Cassandra tells Justin that she thinks the fantasy suite is moving too fast because she has her son to think about. 

Tenley wants to be really real with Joshua. Is there a possibility of anything after the show? She doesn't want either of their hearts to be broken. She thinks she needs to give it a chance. They close the door with the "Do Not Disturb" tag.

Jade and Tanner talk about how they anticipate a couple of couples not being around after tomorrow. Tanner tells Jade that he loves her. She loves him too. 

The next day means they have to decide if roses will be exchanged. Are they willing to make a commitment to trying to make things work when they get home.

Before it's time for the roses, Tenley is upset, wondering when they will be able to see each other again. He wants to make a go of it. 


The first up to accept or deny a rose is Cassandra. Justin was unsure what to expect after not spending time in the fantasy suite last night. They exchange roses, hopeful of what may come of the experience.

Next up is Nick. He came for Samantha, but is she as serious? He's been praying for a woman like her. What? Not sure that I believe that. Sam thinks Nick is her Prince Charming in all of this and gladly accepts a rose. 

Joshua is eager for Tenley to arrive. Tenley says she doesn't know what to do, but I bet she snatches the rose right up. He didn't expect to really find someone here, but he did. He would love to try whatever happens after paradise. Tenley rambles on about caring for him so much, but it not being fair to him to not be able to see him afterwards unless someone got a different job and moved. She gets in a car and leaves him standing there. Why did she even go on the show? It would have been a logistical problem regardless of who she ended up with.

Last up is Tanner and Jade, and if all the previews are correct, and there is an engagement, then we know what is coming up. However, in all the previews at the beginning of the show there was a pregnancy scare clip. It never was shown in the actual season. Something is jacked up about that. So, maybe there's not an engagement after all, even though everyone thinks there is going to be.

Jade does her monologue to Tanner first, and she gives him the rose. However, Tanner says he can't give her a rose. She sighs deeply thinking it's over and she's made a fool of herself. He says it's worthy of more than a rose and proposes, giving her a ring instead of a rose. She accepts, the two couples no one cared about shout congrats from their perch up above the beach. 

Now, all season, I have not blogged during the After Paradise live show, but I think I am going to have to tonight.  

Not that I really want to, but I want to see if they address some things. Really, I just want to see Kirk and Carly, and probably won't waste time typing about anything else.

Tenley makes an appearance and says that she just didn't think Joshua was the one for her. She just didn't see anything long term because of differences in lifestyles. Joshua calls in and nothing interesting happens.

Amber calls in and claims that Samantha and Nick are still together.

Cassandra stops by, and she's dating Jonathan now. Justin has nothing to say on the phone.

Carly comes on and tells everyone that the conversation she and Kirk had the night was the reason why she was so utterly shocked when he broke up with her. He had talked about a future. He was ready to meet her family, or so he said.

When Kirk sits down to talk to her for the first time since the show, he says what made him panic was that Carly had said she would be likely to run at the first red flag in a relationship. He felt like he was moving slower since he had recently gotten out of a relationship. I'm not sure that anything was really resolved, and I don't feel like we got anything out of that conversation.

With less than five minutes left in the show, Tanner and Jade, the still engaged couple comes on. OK, that's enough. I have things I need to do, so I sign off for the season. I can crochet instead of blogging on this drivel on Sundays and Mondays until a new season of The Bachelor starts.

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