Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dancing with the You-Call-Those-People-Stars?

Had I not been so preoccupied earlier this week, I would have already done my commentary on the list of "stars" coming up on the new season of Dancing with the Stars. While I have indeed been questioning the "star quality" of said stars on this show for a while now, I have no doubt whatsoever these are the dimmest stars the galaxy known as Hollywood has ever offered.

I'd show you the dramatic little commercial diddy right here, but ABC doesn't offer embeds anymore. You can click here to see the quick version: - Dancing with the Stars - Meet the Stars or you can watch the slightly longer version I got off You Tube below.

I forgot about the reveal until on Tuesday morning Tracy posted on my Facebook about the biggest person I have to gripe about this season.

Kate Gosselin. I hope she goes home the first week. For all of her tearful, "I. never. wanted. to. get. a. divorce." monologues, I don't know that I really believe her. I'm so thankful I'm not the publicist on her new book. Seriously. She needs to be home taking care of her eight children instead of yet again throwing herself into the public eye. If she cared so much about this during this rough time in their life, she'd be at home. At least she has new hair. Wait, she kind of looks ridiculous with it too, since we all know it isn't real.

Chad Ochocinco. I can't stand this guy with a passion. Hearing his name just sets me on a rampage. It's ridiculous to change your name to your uniform number. Especially when it isn't even correct Spanish. Before the cast was announced, Dad and I were trying to figure out who the football player would be this time. I said that they'd ask Brett Favre, but they were afraid he wouldn't leave after he got voted off.

Pamela Anderson. Does this really require any commentary?

Buzz Aldrin. I have to be honest with you. I thought he was dead. I guarantee you, somewhere, they will work in the Moonwalk to a Michael Jackson song. I'm just saying.

Evan Lysacek. Never heard of him until two weeks ago on the Olympics. I bet he wins though. Gonna have to root for him actually.

Jake Pavelka. I never watch the Bachelor, but I am very anti-pilots as a rule. Just don't ask.

Aiden Turner. Does anyone watch soap operas anymore? Maybe they do.

Erin Andrews. I just don't watch enough sports on TV, but don't really know who she is. But then, I don't have the testosterone to care anyway.

Nicole Scherzinger. The lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls does realize there is more to dancing than deep knee bends and sticking her butt out, right? Oh, there's also not a pole in middle of this dance floor.

Niecy Nash. I've somehow managed to never watch anything that she has ever been in. As a hobby, she listed "motherhood". See comments on Kate Gosslin above if that be the case.

Shannen Doherty. She's considered witchy even when she isn't playing a witch. She's been more of a star than most of the rest.

All that said, I'm sure I'll end up watching. Unless I get a life by then.


Laura Davis said...

Very funny Audra. I have to agree with you on everything. As for Erin Andrews, I believe she is a news reporter.

I couldn't agree with you more about Kate Gosselin. Someone needs to sit that girl down and tell her to go home and tend her children. As for her new hair - I think she looks like a porcupine.

I dread what Pamela Anderson will wear on this season's show. I thought it was getting a little racy last year, but it might have to be on at a later time with her there!

Pam said...

I hadn't even heard of some of these people. Boo on Kate Gosselin. Go home to the kids!