Monday, June 24, 2019

The Bachelorette: Hannah B. - Week 7

As usual, I'm running a bit late getting started with my post because I was fixing something to eat, waiting for my computer to start back up, then needed to forward an email I just got to someone.

I'm going to have to eat during commercials because I didn't want to burn my tongue. Warning from the previews: I may do some slut shaming. I don't know what else to call it.

But we'll jump on in. They are in Latvia where Hannah hopes she gets a fresh start and reminds her why she is here: To find love and be romanced by these men.

She wants these things in a man: Goes on adventures with her and makes her feel loved.

In regards to her fresh start, it sure as heck would have helped if she had gotten rid of Luke.

Oh to be young and stupid, and think you are in love. (Like I would know, but I digress.)

The men are chomping at the bit to see Hannah. Once they gather around the room and start chatting, Luke talks about not getting to spend enough time with Hannah last week. That's his fault. He had a one-on-one and still didn't make the most of it.

There's a knock at the door. The date card.

"Garrett -- Can I trust our love? -- Hannah"

Luke says that Garrett getting this date card is the first time he legitimately felt jealous. He knows for a fact that no one feels for Hannah the way that he does.

They meet out in the middle of nowhere. It's cold and there are no leaves on the trees. I don't know why they are walking through the leafless woods.

Soon they see a cable card where a couple has bungee jumped out naked. She wants to know why they are naked. She knew they were bungee jumping. She didn't know about the naked part. The couple gets down off the cord and talk to them. There's a lot of black box action going on since they are only wearing harnesses. They free themselves from the harnesses and frolic off into the woods.

Hannah just decides, "While in Latvia..." She keeps telling herself to be courageous. They snuggle up in their robes as the cable car gets out over the river. She's freezing. They get their cords around their feet. Her last step is to take off her bra. They huddle up and finally jump.

Once they are back on land, she decides it was freeing. The people in the cable car toss her bra out in the river. They hang out by a fire in their robes. Hannah calls Garrett strong. Garrett says he is glad to see Hannah happy, especially after the other night. Her crying pulled on his heartstrings.

Later that night when finally completely dressed again, they are warmer. After the adrenaline, she hopes they are able to have a more serious conversation.

Except, how serious you can be starting the conversation talking about "a ding-dong," I don't know. You can figure out what that was about as she recapped out their date started off.

She blathers on talking about having the weapons for the fight.

Meanwhile, at the hotel, the next date card arrives.

"Mike, Jed, Tyler, Dustin, Luke, Connor, Dylan - Let's discover Riga. - Love, Hannah"

That leaves Peter for the other one-on-one. Mike reminds Dustin and Dylan that there are two one-on-ones next week, and that might be their week. 

On the date, Garrett talks about his football family and going into playing golf. After comparing their relationship to the leap they took earlier, Garrett says, "I'm falling in love FOR you." Awkwardly worded, yes.

She felt so free falling today, and when falling in love, sometimes you have to take that leap. He gets the rose.

Their conversation was so shallow, by the way. Their makeout soundtrack on the street is courtesy of a violin player.

The next morning, the guys ask Garrett about his date. He says that his fear was correct... it involved heights. He then goes into the story of the naked bungee jump. Luke refuses to believe Garrett's story. He thinks there's no way Hannah would do that.

Hannah is cautiously optimistic about her group date with the seven men. They have some moonshine and pickles at the local market. Tyler buys her some flowers.

They head out to the street and do a street dance with the locals in costume. From there they arm wrestle in a pub. On the bus ride to their next location, Hannah tells about yesterday's activity.

Luke is deflated when Hannah confirms the naked bungee jumping thing. Luke is pissed. He considered it a slap in HIS face that she got naked with another man. Luke believes Hannah is HIS future wife.

Now, let me insert here, from the standpoint of Luke's religious beliefs about her body being a temple and intended for her future husband. Yep. I agree. However, he has no control over her. She is not his. If she's the kind of person who is going to get naked on the nude beach (which she says she would do), then he has to figure out if SHE is the kind of girl he wants. If not, he needs to ease on down the road.

If she didn't want to do it, she could have refused.

Moving along, that night, they head off to a palatial room for the cocktail party. She feels like the day has been a reset. She's proud they all put everything aside and had a good day. She's hopeful for tonight and the rest of the journey. After the toast, Tyler jumps in to be the first one to pull her away. He tells her about a moment he had seeing her stand up for herself. They go after it pretty hot and heavy. Think lap dance. Luke would have died if he walked in.

Jed plays the piano for her. They don't do it on the top of the piano, thank goodness.

Luke talks to the other guys about how he did not approve about the getting naked thing. Tyler defends her.

When it's Luke's turn to talk, he warns her that she isn't going to like this conversation. Luke asks if she's ever felt cheated on. He says that Garrett blurted out a lot of stuff about their date. He tells her it pissed him off to think about being bare chested with Garrett. He says it made him sick. Luke goes into taking her home to meet his family right into he will support her in whatever she does, even if it is making a bone-headed mistake. Luke says regardless, they will get through anything. Hannah's expression is pretty interesting the whole time.

When it comes time to give out the rose, Hannah gives it to Tyler. Luke is steaming because he was honest with her. His reasoning though is he will be getting the final rose, and that's all that matters.

The next day, it's Peter's turn. Hannah can see Peter pushing the stroller. 

Their date is going to be a Latvian spa day. The couple that serves as their hosts in their broken English awkwardly explain what they will be doing. It's a chance for them to get closer. Hannah and Peter just thought the woman's song was over and thank her, but she's not finished. She sings the next verse. They mix some honey for their bodies. The language thing makes it all really bizarre. They finish their cleansing ceremony and head into a sauna. They make a wish as a part of the sauna ceremony. After the other couple finally leaves, it gets even steamier as if that were possible.

After all that, they head out to the hot tub and talk. None of the conversations are interesting.

At 8:05, I have now caught up through the commercials.

Over dinner, it's time for more less than stimulating conversation. She knows there is chemistry, but she wants to know if there is substance there. Hannah tells Peter she is the most introverted person in her family.

Hannah asks Peter how his flying around the country for work has impacted his dating life. It hasn't worked out well for him. It has also been hard for him to take his guard down after his last relationship. Ok, this conversation seems a little deeper than some of the others, I must admit.

Hannah has been engaged twice already. Maybe she falls for guys too quick. Time to head outside for a fireworks show.

The guys talk around the hotel, and we learn from Garrett that it was hard for him to read Peter's date card last night that said something about heating things up. As Peter shares about his date, Jed puts on his ugly coat and gets ready to go find Hannah.

He takes his guitar and sings his song (that he sang at the drag show the first group date) underneath her balcony. He gets an invite in. She's impressed.

They sit on the bed as he sings more for her. After another song, she makes out hot and heavy with the fourth guy of the night. They better watch or they are going to crush his guitar.

Maybe I have short term memory issues, but I don't think one woman has ever been all over so many men like this. Maybe one or two, but not four or five or six.

And here, I have to take an hour break from blogging because of house closing disclosures I need to sign to start the three day clock. I'm a nervous wreck, y'all!

Because some people can't keep their traps shut, Garrett confronts Luke about Luke going to Hannah with his (Luke's) disapproval of his (Garrett's) date. They get in a conversation about going into each other's lanes. Luke tells Garrett he should not bring this conversation here into the rose ceremony tomorrow. Send them all home!

Luke kicks Garrett out of the room so he can go to sleep, then tells Garrett if he doesn't want Luke talking about what Garrett does, then to not talk about it. Ok, I have no clue if you could just follow that sentence, but there are too many hes involved.

The guys are sitting around the next day and as usual, Luke is yammering along. Hannah shows up and asks to talk to Luke. He jumps up and heads out. She isn't peppy when she arrives, so everyone suspects this isn't good.

Hannah has been thinking about the conversation with Luke when he brought up his disapproval over the jump. She appreciates him coming to her with a real conversation and sharing concerns. However, the talk didn't sit well with her, especially the language he used. Hannah tells Luke the naked thing wasn't a sexual thing. (Not sure how it wasn't, all things considered.) Even if it was, Luke isn't her husband and doesn't own her body. He tries to explain himself better, but seems to dig a deeper hole. He doesn't want to know anything about her and the other guys. He then accuses her of twisting her words.

He feels like their train is on the tracks. She's not so sure. Luke tells Hannah that she misunderstood some of what he said. She's still trying to figure out how she feels about him and everything.

Luke would be so controlling to any woman. At least that is what it seems like.

Hannah needs to know who the true Luke is. "Why is it so hard with us?" He grows more and more unattractive.

Let him go! Let him go! Leave him out in the snow!

Sorry. I have a thing about singing randomness.

Garrett tells the guys about talking to Luke the night before. All the men talk about the inability to drive in your own lane when you are looking out the side at other cars.

Luke walks back in and shares that he and Hannah talked about something that was just between he and Hannah. It's no one's business and he's not talking about it. He tells Garrett none of this would have happened if Garrett had not shared details about his date. Luke says Hannah needs everyone to stay in their own lanes.

Then Luke gets into it with Tyler. I can't even tell you all the ya-ya going on. They are worse than a bunch of high school girls.

Enter Chris Harrison. He just saw Hannah who was a little emotional. There will be no cocktail party. Only a rose ceremony because she knows what she wants to do. Chris tells everyone to get dressed.

We see the men walking through the streets on their way to the ceremony. Lots of men in loafers without socks.

Garrett, Tyler and Peter have roses. There are four roses left and two going home.

Hannah arrives and says it really was a great week. She is starting to believe her husband is there.
  1. Jed
  2. Mike
  3. Connor
  4. Luke
Hannah whispers to Luke, "There is goodness in you. I see it."

That sends Dylan and Dustin home. I thought his name was Devin. Did Chris Harrison call him the wrong thing? Has Hannah been calling him the wrong name all this time? I don't see how they got this far, especially since neither I nor Chris Harrison know who they are. There was a Devin at one time. I did Dustin's name right above on the date card. That's just because I was typing as he was saying it. 

All the guys are annoyed with Luke still being there. Chris Harrison, in hushed tones, even asks Hannah what she likes about Luke. Her answer? "I'm either falling in love with Luke or Luke is making me go crazy. I'm not sure which one."

Oh, it's quite obvious to me. 

The best part of the whole episode was the scene during the closing credits that included this:

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

How do you know when it’s time to have certain conversations with your son?

Part 2 of an interview with Joel Fitzpatrick,
Author of Between Us Guys

Dads are given an incredible opportunity to be one of the primary influences in their children’s lives for the gospel. By inviting conversations in every arena of life, fathers pass down the message of Christ to the next generation. As a youth and family pastor and father to a young boy who’s entered into many of these conversations, Joel Fitzpatrick knows it’s important not to shy away from difficult subjects.

Between Us Guys (New Growth Press) is an easy-to-use, life-changing book for fathers and sons gives readers the tools to have important conversations with boys about life, faith, and being a man. With a conversational and captivating tone, fathers and other caregivers are guided into having gospel-focused conversations with boys ages six to ten about a wide range of topics from social justice and friendships to money, anger, and more.

In a world where television, the internet, social media, and gaming culture have taken away from quality time spent between fathers and sons, Between Us Guys urges readers to lean in to important conversations with the grace and knowledge of Christ.

Q: How would you encourage fathers to carve out time with their sons in light of the many distractions and forms of entertainment around them (social media, gaming culture, etc.)?

Fathers should be involved in their sons lives. They should learn what their son likes to do, then start to do that with them. This takes sacrifice and intentionality—it may take learning to play a video game or teaching your son how to fish or wood work. The key is to know your son, then start to invite him out to talk.

One word of caution though: Don’t only go out with your son to have a serious talk. Take and interest and participate in what he likes to do. Also, figure out how to do things that will stretch your son to serve other people by getting his eyes off of entertainment and helping him see how fulfilling it is to serve others. Then connect him with the gospel by showing him how Jesus served us.

To this end, I have included activities, service projects or even just frozen yogurt runs with each chapter helps prompt dads to spend time with their kids.

Q: Why is the book designed for the conversations to take place around various activities?

Most boys are busy, they want to do things, they want to learn new things or try new activities. Most deep lasting relationships are built with fun somewhere in the mix. And most men feel more comfortable talking to their sons when they are able to use an activity to help spur the conversation.

This is one of the reasons why activities are so important. I can remember being on a fishing boat with my son, riding out to fish in the kelp beds near where I live. We were with one of the elders from the church who also fishes. The three of us had six hours to talk about life, God’s creation, the fun of fishing, serious problems my son was facing and how Jesus through the work of the gospel heals our lives. The activity of fishing provided the context for relaxed, free flowing conversation that was so valuable in my son’s life.

Q: How do you know when it’s time to have certain conversations with your son?

I get this question all the time, most of those times its concerning sex and sexuality. I am a firm believer in the work of the Holy Spirit giving us wisdom for not only the how but also the when to have conversations. As our friendship with our sons grow and we are spending time with them, we will become aware of when to have difficult conversations.

I think the key is to understand that our sons are humans and not formulas. They need fathers who are involved in their lives and know them well. So, we don’t just have one conversation, we have a lifetime of conversations covering a wide range of topics from God to man and from sex to work. We are constantly telling them how the good news of the gospel changes every area of our lives.

Q: What would you say is the biggest hurdle or blind spot for fathers interested in beginning gospel-centered conversations?

There are three that come to mind immediately: fear, lack of knowledge and complacency. Most dads want to be good dads and help their sons learn how to be men who love and are loved by Jesus. However, in my experience of talking to dads about having conversations with their sons, they are afraid of messing their sons up. Here is the beauty of the gospel though, it is not up to us as dads to conform our sons into the image of Jesus—Philippians 1:6 tells us that is God’s work. We will mess up these conversations, we will say the wrong thing, we will be unfaithful, but the beauty is God is always faithful.

Second, a lot of dads don’t know how to start the conversations because their dads never had these kinds of talks with them. They don’t know what to say, how to say it or when they should talk to their sons. To the dads who struggle with this, we can have hope that over a lifetime of conversations, God will use your weak words to help your son grow in his knowledge and understanding of the life altering truths of the gospel.

To the last group, there are some men who struggle with complacency. They think their sons will learn how to live just by living life. Dads, if you are not going to talk with your sons, others will. Whether it is TV, the internet, their friends or other men in their life, people will be talking to them about what it means to be a man. God gives you the opportunity and the calling to help your son understand what it means to have their lives saved, shaped and changed by the good news of the gospel. 

Q: What can a mother’s role be in encouraging her son toward understanding biblical masculinity?

A mother’s encouragement, support and care are vital in a boy’s growth into maturity. Mom’s love for their sons provide them a safe place for them to grow into the man God has made them to be. Also, mothers can help their son learn how to relate to and serve the women in their lives.

Single mothers have the opportunity to love and support their sons in a very special way. They are the primary source of teaching, training, support, love and encouragement for their sons and this book can be used as a helpful guide for these conversations.

Q: If there isn’t a dad involved in the life of a young boy, could Between Us Guys be used by a grandfather, uncle, or another mentor?

Absolutely. This book was written so that anyone a grandfather, uncle, mentor, elder or deacon could work through it with a young boy who does not have a father. In that way, these older men act as a stand in father and point this young boy to the best Father they could ever have, God the Father.

I also think that with a bit of thoughtfulness a mom or grandmother could take their son or grandson through this book. These are topics boys need to hear from women on as well. So many strong women have helped me process how to think about these topics, and I am eternally indebted to them.

Q: You talk about the dangers of the moralistic “try hard, do better” message. How can fathers avoid this when starting conversations with their sons?

It is easy to just focus in on behavior modification because that is what most people focus in on. But to be clear, there will be plenty of morally upstanding people who are not saved. We don’t need to teach our sons that God’s love and care for them is based on how good they are, we need to bring them to Jesus who can truly save them.

This means Dads must be convinced of the power of Christ. When dads are grounded in the gospel for themselves, they can start to help their sons see how the gospel changes their lives. Dads can tell their sons the stories of how the gospel has changed their life and encourage their sons that God can work in them.

Then, dads can lead their sons to Christ when their sons fail to live the way that God has called him to. This is the joy of having these conversations saturated with the gospel dads get to be a conduit of God’s grace to their son.

Learn more at and follow him on Twitter (@JoelDFitz).

Monday, June 17, 2019

The Bachelorette: Hannah B. - Week 6

I'm getting a late start tonight because VBS is this week at church. After getting home and a bite to eat, it's after 9:30 PM, so let's see how quick I can get this knocked out. Hopefully, I won't start nodding off.

Last week, the show ended with Stalker Luke being told by Hannah that she could not give him the rose.

I don't see how she could have been so a flutter for him given how many red flags there seem to be. He simply cannot reveal anything about himself when given chance after chance. When she asked him time after time the simplest of questions.

The guys are sitting around talking about him. I seriously am not 100% sure who one of these under the radar guys is. 

Back to the dumping of Luke. Hannah says she can't give him the rose. Luke says he is very confused. She has a hard time using her words in telling him what she wants. This day has frustrated him too. They had all day to try to make it something it wasn't. He wants her to think about every little detail since day one. He wants to take ownership and move on. She says giving him a rose doesn't make since. He asks if this means this is it and he goes home tonight. Hannah confirms that. He leaves.

It never crossed Luke's mind that he was going to go home. Ah, to be young and stupid. His eyebrows do weird things. He claims that Hannah is right and that he has tried to be too perfect. He had to get his act together. He thinks he's going to win her over and get to stay. Luke comes back in. Hannah wants to know why he is back. He knows it's his fault. He decides to scream and yell and try to communicate, but he makes no sense. It sounds kind of like Charlie Brown's teacher for the sense he makes.

Had to pause to finish uploading some pictures. There goes the "Let's see how fast I can do this while FFWDing through commercials" challenge.

Back at the hotel/castle/whatever, the men are sitting around waiting for Luke to not come home. Unfortunately, for all of them, he shows back up. Luke announces that Hannah said it was the worst one-on-one date. She didn't give him a rose, but she wants him to stay to contend at the rose ceremony with everyone else.

Hannah thinks the men have to trust her and what's good for her heaaarrrt because keeping Luke was what was right for her. However, if Luke goes back to being a robot tomorrow, he won't get a rose.

The next day, Luke goes to a church to pray because he is pursuing his future wife and trying not to mess it up.

That evening, it's time for the cocktail party. She comes in and talks about how her faith means a lot to her and a verse God has put on her heart about focusing on the seen, not the unseen. I think I'm lost. She gives a toast and Garrett pulls her away first.

They chat a bit. Garrett shares that he told Luke to leave everyone out of his date (not talk about everyone), and he wanted to follow-up and see if Luke kept his word on keeping his mouth shut. Hannah does confirm he did EXCEPT when Hannah brought up something that prompted it. Their kiss is interrupted by Connor.

Garrett comes back in and tries to start something by saying that Hannah said he named names. Well, this isn't presented like it really happened. All the men want to know what he said.

Hannah wants to talk to Connor, but there is such a loud commotion going on among the men. She listens in to find out what is being said. She comes in, tells them to stop because she is fed up of fights. She tells the men to ask whatever they want. Someone starts, and Luke interrupts. Hannah tells, she can ask what she wants and was trying to find out about a situation. That's why names came up. This is really all so immature. He said this about me. He said that about whatever.

Garrett's point is that Luke lied last night when he said nothing about anyone. Hannah finally signals for Luke to zip it. She tells them all to stay in their freaking lane. She leaves the room.

Peter asks them to pay attention to how upset Hannah was and to please stop all this. Luke starts back up with Garrett again. Hannah is still listening and drinking the last of her sanity away.

Garrett needs to shut up. She comes back in and tells Luke he needs to stop making excuses. He's already been warned. She tells the rest of the guys to stop focusing on Luke and start focusing on her. She says she has concerns with Luke, but has concerns with all of them too. Shut up and pay attention to me. "You all make me feel psycho." She wanted to share with them about who she is and how she feels. Instead, they all talk about crap. She's defeated and tells them all off. She says she doesn't want to do this and leaves.

Tyler points out how they are all messing this up.

Hannah is bawling and Chris Harrison finally goes to check on her. She uses the word "like" a lot. She's frustrated that they are hung on Luke. He says it is because they care. They all care about her and are upset that she likes Luke. While Chris tries and actually is logical, she's had enough. Party over.

Garrett hopes she can forgive him for ruining an evening. Luke says it's 100% Garrett's fault.

Rose time. Mike and Jed already have roses.

  1. Connor
  2. Tyler
  3. Dustin
  4. Peter
  5. Dylan (How is this guy still here? Something about him looks creepy to me.)
  6. Garrett
  7. Luke (WHY THE HECK?)
This means the three going home are people I basically have to refer back to a list to figure out their names because they have gotten so little screen time. Devin (who we really don't know anything about), Grant (I don't know anything about him either), and Kevin (I know his name rhymes with Devin). 

After those three men go off, they all exit off saying they don't see what she sees in Luke.

She scolds all the men one last time as she leaves for the night. 

The remnants of men and Hannah head off to Latvia. 

While the men have drinks, Hannah talks to Chris Harrison. She wants to know if she can have one cocktail party that doesn't go to crap. 

Hannah isn't trusting the relationships like she wants to. She doesn't feel like the men want to be in a relationship with her. She hasn't felt led to share anything about herself. She's trying to stay hopeful, but can't quite figure out how people find love in this process. She feels like she is flailing. 

This is the most hopeless conversation with Chris Harrison that has ever happened on this series ever. That's me saying that, not CH. 

That conversation was in a casual setting. We then move to a more formal sit down discussing the process from the get-go, and how she doesn't think she's going to be able to where she needs to be.

They recap the season from night one when Scott was sent home because he had a girlfriend. Then we get a series of clips from Cam and all his drama. Oh, my word, it has been a long six weeks. I don't know if I'm losing my mind or memory--or just have more important things to think about--but I forgot about Cam. Seriously. 

They move on to all things Luke. Luke S. and Luke P. Just Luke P. She's hoping he can get past this so they can continue. 

I don't know why we are having a mid-season recap in middle of tonight's episode, but they go over some of the better moments of the season thus far. 

Before The Bachelorette, she had only kissed five guys. Chris Harrison asked her who the best kisser is. Her answer: Luke. Sigh.

There's a blooper reel of awkward moments. Like a random dog in the park eating all of Jed's ice cream. Jonathan trying to go in for a kiss. Other clips.

I'm seriously getting ready to not off in boredom. I don't know why this is necessary. 

The episode ends with clips from the rest of the season which appears to be a lot of Luke drama and sluttin' it up. I don't think she is mature enough for all of this. She doesn't seem too mentally stable. 

Sunday, June 16, 2019

I Will Call Upon the Lord

I Will Call Upon the Lord

By Michael O’Shields

I will call upon the Lord, (women echo)
Who is worthy to be praised (echo)
So shall I be saved from my enemies (echo)

The Lord liveth, and blessed be the Rock,
And let the God of our salvation be exalted.

Jesus Christ who died for me, (echo)
And He took away my sins (echo)
I will live with Him for eternity (echo)


I will call upon the Lord… (end in unison)

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Sign-up to review Standing Together

Standing Together: The Inspirational Story
of a Wounded Warrior and Enduring Love

Kregel Publications

Tour dates: August 6-20

About the book

A true story of hope and courage in the face of astonishing challenges
During his fourth deployment, US Marine Corps Sergeant Carlos Evans stepped on an IED--and the loss of both legs and his left hand was just the beginning of the struggle for his life.

For the next two years, he and his wife, Rosemarie, went through the rehabilitation process together. As a nurse and mother of two young children, Rosemarie was used to caring for people, but the task of taking care of her triple-amputee husband brought new challenges every day. In addition to his limb loss, Carlos faced PTSD and developed an addiction to painkillers. He was sure Rosemarie's life would be better without him--and that it might have been better if he hadn't survived at all.

But unlike the majority of marriages put under similar strain, Carlos and Rosemarie stayed together. With the help of family, friends, and--most importantly--a strong faith, they've built a solid marriage and discovered a ministry they never expected. By the hand of God, their story, which began in devastation, has turned into one that draws in and lifts up more people than either of them would ever have dreamed.

Not only will disabled veterans and their loved ones find help here, Carlos and Rosemarie's captivating journey also speaks to those who long for stronger marriages, care for loved ones with disabilities, or are facing a new normal in their own lives, small or large. It is a powerful resource for leaning on God in the midst of life's great difficulties--and for finding ways that, through faith, profound loss can bring incredible blessing.

About the authors

Carlos R. Evans is a minister with the Assemblies of God USA, a Wounded Warrior spokesman, and a motivational speaker. He served in the Marine Corps for eight years.

Rosemarie Evans, an experienced nurse, is now a full-time caregiver and student working toward a master’s degree in marriage and family from Liberty University.

Carlos and Rosemarie live in Orlando, Florida.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Sign-ups open for the Shame off You blog tour

Shame Off You: From Hiding to Healing

Abingdon Press

Tour dates: August 1-31

Learn to recognize and process feelings of shame in a
biblical way to restore God-ordained self-worth and hope.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1 
Shame is an assault on the core of who we are. It assassinates our character, minimizes our worth, and dashes our hope. Like Adam and Eve, we often hide shame, but hiding never heals it. Left unattended, shame can develop into a crippling reality that paralyzes us. Like an infectious disease, shame impacts everyone . . . but not all shame is bad.
Shame can either be an oppressive and powerful tool of worldly condemnation or a source of conviction that God uses to bring his people back to himself. Having the discernment to know the difference and recognize shame in its many forms can change the course of one’s life.
In a transparently honest style, Pass shares of her experience dealing with shame after learning that her former husband was a sexual offender. Having lived through the aftermath, she leads you into God’s Word where you will see for yourself that God is bigger than your pain, shame, mistakes, and limitations.
Shame Off You shares how freedom can be found in choosing to break the cycle of shame by learning from the past, developing healthy thinking patterns, silencing lies, and overcoming the traps of vanity and other people's opinions.

Learn more at

Denise Pass, author of Shame Off You, is an award-winning CCM recording artist and singer-songwriter, accomplished writer/blogger, speaker and worship leader at women’s conferences as well as a worship leader on staff at her home church. After a crushing discovery of her former husband’s hidden life as a repetitive sex offender, and surviving a painful divorce, she now shares an inspirational message through her ministry, Seeing Deep Ministries, about seeing the deeper truth in God’s word when life hurts. Denise also founded and directed a home educational co-op for 12 years and engaged in many educational pursuits, including forming and directing a classical children’s choir. A graduate from the University of Maryland, Denise now resides in Virginia, with her “Kinsman Redeemer” husband and five children.

Find her online at

What people are saying about Shame Off You...

*Reviews from

"'It has been said that what we think on, we are.' This is one of the many sentences that pierced my mind and heart while reading this book. Denise did an amazing job in balancing her own personal stories of shame and helping the reader to understand how to fight shame. This is a great book for anyone who has endured shame and needs to learn how to overcome it. Denise’s story is not a pretty one but her story and the scriptures she uses will inspire you to kick shame to the curb in your own life."
~ Gina Fox

"Coming from a place of shame as a child, and not knowing how to overcome it, this book opened up many of those old wounds and set them free. Denise Pass shared her past shame in this book and provided biblical ways to overcome through God’s word. I was fortunate enough to be a part of the Shame Off You study group, which further impacted my understanding of how we don’t have to live in shame anymore because God bore all the shame so we can be set free. Anyone dealing with shame can find comfort and healing through this book."
~ Christena Plasse

"Shame Off You: From Hiding to Healing by Denise Pass, is an indispensable book for dealing with and conquering shame. Shame Off You gives me the hope and tools I need to overcome the stronghold of shame. I learned that shame is a much larger problem than most would like to admit. While its effects can seem debilitating, there is a way out. The way out is through Christ alone. Through Him, we have all we need to get past shame and move forward into hope and healing. Denise Pass has written a valuable book that guides readers to freedom, health, clear thinking and true peace. I learned that although I have felt shame, it is not who I am; shame does not define me, nor is it my life sentence. Denise Pass shares her own personal struggles shame, and guides readers to a better way: a way of strength, courage, and truth."
~ J.M. Ukes

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

The Bachelorette: Hannah B. - Week 5

Last night when the NBA Finals came on instead of The Bachelorette, everyone who reads my blog messaged me to figure out what was going on and to chat.

It made me feel good.

Ok, just two people messaged me, but that's probably the only people that read it. The rest of the post visitors are the Russians who are always bouncing off my blog for who knows what reason.

It still made me feel good.

So, we start off with the Luke drama as it continues at the cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony.

Hannah has pulled both of them out to talk. She wants the two of them to talk to each other, not do he-said/he-said to her. I don't like either one of them, so I'd be good with her kicking both out right now. Hannah is not amused as she's watching them interact. Stalker Luke accuses Annoying Luke of not being there for the right reasons.

She is annoyed with this. Hannah gets up and walks off, leaving the two Lukes to quickly shutdown the conversation and sit in silence. Then Stalker Luke starts back up. He said he didn't even want to talk to Hannah about him. Annoying Luke asks about getting kneed in the head. Chris Harrison interrupts and pulls them back in with the rest of the men. Cocktail party is over. Time for roses.

Honestly, I don't even remember last week and who got roses. I've slept since then and had other things on my mind. (Jed, Tyler and Garrett)

Hannah said it's been a confusing night and a hard week. She's going with her heart.

Before she can give the first rose, Annoying Luke interrupts and asks if he can speak to her. He apologizes if he caused her any pain, but it was hard to defend his character time and time again. He warns her to keep her eyes open for he thinks she knows who. He leaves on his own. Chris Harrison comes in and takes a rose away.
  1. Peter
  2. Connor
  3. Dylan
  4. Dustin
  5. Mike
  6. Kevin
  7. Devin (Who is this guy?)
  8. Grant
  9. Luke P.
I'm not a fan of John Paul Jones, but he would have been a better choice. Matteo leaves too. 

The guys may not get it. Hannah's head doesn't always want Luke P. to be there. here  heart wants him to be there. It's all chemistry, even with red flags. 

It's off to Scotland now. 

Luke P. has to make a toast, but he tells the guys the toast is mostly for Hannah. Some of the guys choke. Hannah may be second guessing her decision already. 

When they get to Scotland, Hannah tries to give a history lesson. She's going to play the role of Mary, Queen of Scots, except she won't be beheaded.

Speaking of history lessons, The Bachelorette posted on Facebook about her history lessons. I commented I thought they were ridiculous and wasn't amused. Some people disagree, some agreed with me, and one millennial accused me of not liking fun. She was a smart mouth. I like fun. Maybe not her kind of fun, but that's ok too. 

So Hannah meets them at a pub. She says she's going to have to reset and be more honest with them since she wants them to open up with her. 

Instead of giving a date card, she invites Mike to explore Scotland with her. He's really excited. Luke P. has a look on his face like he's about to go kill a small animal. Luke says he's always himself. Some of the men cut him off. 

Mike is all smiles. The book lovers are dying right now as they go to a bookshop. They have a basket of goose eggs for sale, and she holds one up to her ear. Why? No one knows. She doesn't know either.

Next, they head to a candy shop where they try some really super sour candy. She's trying not to spit it out, but is practically in tears. 

They try haggis next. She says she liked it, then she found out what it was. She doesn't like it anymore. 

Meanwhile, Luke is wandering around on his own while everyone is inside talking about him. 

Mike is still all smiles. They talk about having relationships where you can laugh together. 

Later that night, they have their real serious meal and conversation. Mike hasn't told anyone he loved them since 2014-2015, his last serious relationship.

Hannah talks about living her life from one relationship to another, man to man to man. 

Mike says he doesn't open up to everyone. Hannah makes him nervous because he doesn't want to get hurt again. 

At the castle, a date card arrives.

"Devin, Tyler, Jed, Dylan, Grant, Connor, Dustin, Peter, Kevin, Garrett - Love is a battlefield. - Hannah. 

That leaves the other one-on-one to Stalker Luke. He says this will give him a chance to see if he still wants to be here and if things are moving forward. 

He has only told one woman he loved her, and it took him a long time to get over her. He can see himself getting down on one knee in a few weeks. After that, she has to give him the rose. 

The next day, the men are going to take on the Highland Games. 

After doing the Scottish yell, they practice axe throwing which doesn't go well. Hannah did better than the men. 
After a milk bucket race, they take turns wrestling. Thank goodness Luke isn't there.

Speaking of Luke, Mike tells Luke he is concerned because Luke is questioning wanting to be here again. Luke denies that he's questioned anything. Mike think's he's the Lukeness monster.

The men all put on some kilts to compete for an audience. Practice didn't make perfect for axe throwing. Someone hits the target, but my satellite blinked out. 

Peter did the milk bucket race best. Hannah thought it was hot when Jed poured milk over himself. 

It's wrestling time and some of them men are commando so black boxes are in play. One dumb guy, Dylan, is worried about his butt showing. It wasn't his butt he needed to worry about. Hannah referred to bagpipes. 

Moving on.

Jed won the Highland Games. He gets the first alone time at the cocktail party. He kind of feels her up, but she's going at it pretty heavy. 

Kevin walks up, watches a couple of minutes and turns around and walks off. When Jed joins the group, Kevin admits watching.

Peter lays Hannah out on the pool table and they go after it. 

It's so quiet you can hear the clock tick back at the castle with Luke and Mike. When there is a knock at the door, Mike walks out. Luke gets his date card. "Luke - Let's figure this out... one way or another - Hannah."

Tyler wears his kilt because he caught Hannah checking him out earlier. They are in a bedroom, so she invites him over. 

This is beyond kissing everyone tonight. It's moved to slutty. 

When it is rose time, Hannah gives Jed the rose. 

Hannah takes notice that there has been no drama and makes the correlation with Luke not being there.

The next morning, Luke is awkward and says he heard they wrestled in kilts. He's trying (and failing) to be funny. None of the men are amused.

Hannah has been nervous about today. She knows every man hates him. It's either the first one-on-one date with her future husband or the first and last one-on-one date with Luke. 

My advice (for what it is worth), don't go for the hot guy if he literally cannot get along with anyone. 

They go on a bit of a hike to the ruins of a old castle on a cliff. She asked if he expected a one-on-one this week. He doesn't want to talk about the past couple of weeks, but asks if there's anything she wants to clear the air about. She doesn't understand why the guys don't like him. 

He thinks the root of it is the conversation about what went down between them about what happened with Luke S. I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but he's kind of blah, blah, blah. Hannah says she doesn't think it's just Luke S. Everyone hates him. He blames the other guys for blowing things out of proportion. 

Luke says that up until now everyone has always loved him. This annoys her. Hannah says that sounded boastful. He doesn't know what she wants him to say. He wants to enjoy the rest of the day. She doesn't know what to do. 

Hannah wants to know how all this makes him feel, how it affects him. The answer he gives is the wrong answer. She can't tell where his heart's at. She doesn't think he can express his emotions. 

Hannah talks to the producers. She wants them to talk to Luke about what she means when she says, "What do you feel?" They tell her she has to talk to him herself. 

When she comes back, Luke says it hurts him. He is going to try to make things clear and right. She doesn't want to hear what happened or him saying he's going to try to make it right. She needs more. 

She says they aren't getting anywhere, so, "Let's go look at the castle." She wants to have a normal conversation with him. "Do you like macaroni and cheese or spaghetti more?" She needs the real, but doesn't seem to be getting it. 

Hannah hates admitting she likes Luke. She wants to be able to cut him free like every other guy that's pissed her off. 

Honestly, at this point, everyone on Twitter talking about the men passing a pink jacket around is more interesting.

That night, Luke and Hannah have dinner. Luke says he's been trying to be too perfect. It's been hard for him because all the guys are saying things that aren't true. She wasn't mad about what happened with Luke S. on the rugby date so much because that day he had real emotion. Luke asks her for advice in being in this situation.

She wants to learn about him. He doesn't talk about himself other than saying he wants to be completely real. He just vaguely goes on about not wanting her to slip through his fingers. He likes her, even with her flaws. 

Luke is making her more and more crazy. She doesn't want to marry someone who can't own up to his mistakes and blames everyone else. He's not getting what she's after. 

Meanwhile, the men are hoping Luke was being sent home.

Hannah says she's never met someone where she's felt like she did when she first met him, but now, she doesn't feel like she's getting anything in return. Luke asks if she thinks they have spent enough time together today. Hannah says she's had as much time with him as anyone. She doesn't feel good today. She wants to see Luke be Luke, but it's not what she hoped for. 

He really doesn't even try. She says she is always good or bad wanting to spend time with him. However, today has been the worst day. She wants to see what she thinks is there. However, she hasn't seen who he is. He's just stone cold sitting there. 
Hannah tells Luke she cannot give him the rose.

It ends right there.