Counting My Blessings

In an effort to be both positive and funny today, I have started to compile a list of blessings in my life. In looking at the news headlines today, it is apparent that there are so many people in the world dealing with so much, that I'll share just a few of the many things that I - and you as well - should be thankful for.

1. I've not fallen into a Guatemalan sink hole. Is it just me, or was it strange how perfectly round it was? And has anyone heard how deep it was?
2. I have not been married to Al Gore for 40 years. 'Nuff said. Random fact of the day: Back when Bill Clinton was campaigning for President the first time, Corsicana was a stop on the campaign trail. I shook Tipper Gore's hand.
3. I'm not a fish in the Gulf of Mexico. On Friday, I heard they were like on plan F of how to stop the flow--or was it how to break down on the oil. Speaking of the Gulf of Mexico, is it sort of like naming hurricanes? When they get through the alphabet, they have to start over? Have you heard that the government is trying to get James Cameron involved in coming up with ideas on how to stop the spill? That has to be plan "Whatchu talkin' about Willis?" (How many times in his life do you think Gary Coleman heard that in his lifetime?)
4. I'm not the male goat that someone was milking. Because, that's just wrong. I can't find the news story now. MSN is set as my home page at work, and every time I opened IE to look up something, I came across a weird news story. I didn't click on the link and read this one, but the headline was something like, "Researchers milk male goat." Someone had way too much free time - either the genetic engineers that created such a creature - or the guy that went around trying to find a male goat to milk.
5. I may have lots of "issues", but at least I don't have whatever issue Lady Gaga has. Even if it is just a persona or an act, thank goodness I don't have to keep that up. Just had to throw that in since I saw a picture of her earlier.
6. I'm not a clueless and distracted driver. Saw a story today that starts out: "One reason highways are hazardous is because too many drivers don't know what they are doing, an insurance company study suggests." The article goes on to call such drivers clueless and distracted based on research. DUH! And all of them are driving down 7th Avenue in Corsicana. Why is this news?
7. I'm glad I have no talent and am not dumb enough to think I do. Anyone else have America's Got Talent on TV right now? Ever notice that the new judge on every talent show does the most talking like they have to run the show?

In other news, I've been waiting this whole past school year to see the graduation section of the newspaper to see which of the "heatherns" (yes - with the R - as the school counselor called them) made it out of my 4th grade class (that I taught all of one semester) and made it on to graduate from high school. I sure hope that 17 out of 22 moved, because only 4 or 5 graduated from CHS this year. I'm not sure if that further explains while I still have nightmares, if I was a contributing factor to the drop out rate, or what.