There's no convincing some people
Last Monday around lunch time, my cell phone rang. Both of my parents were on the phone, telling me that Dad had won the Publisher's Clearing House. Yeah, right! "No, seriously, why did you just call me and ask me if I was sitting down because I really don't believe you."
They emphatically kept telling me it was true, and that when asked if they wanted the award publicly or privately, the check would be coming UPS the next day rather than the balloon presentation at the front door. He had the number of PCH and their lawyers. He'd looked it up online.
"Can I borrow a down payment on a house?"
"OK, whatever, but I don't believe you nor does anyone here at the office who is within listening difference."
I went on to lunch and texted my brother, "Do you think Dad really won Publisher's Clearing House?" A few minutes later, he skeptically called me back. (Evidently, my text was the first he heard about it, so he had to call my parents for the scoop.) "Ehhh... I don't know about this," he says. "But if it's true, I told him I'd help him carry that big check to the bank."
I called my mother back later and asked, "how does it feel for neither of your children to believe you?"
"I don't know what to tell you, but everything checks out."
That night, when I went to the softball fields for the girls' games, as soon as I walked up, my dad asked, "who's your daddy?" After a certain episode of How I Met Your Mother, I really wanted to tell him that line was inappropriate, but...
Afterwards, they said we could fit another vacation in ahead of Branson this fall with some of the winnings. Got my hopes up there, even though he said that he did find out that 40% would go as a gift tax.
So, the next day around lunch time, I get a call. "My check is stuck in customs at the Miami airport coming from Costa Rica and I have to pay to get it out."
"Uh, I don't think so. Why Costa Rica anyway?"
"They don't have to pay taxes on it when it is in a bank down there."
"Why would they send you something that you would have to pay a customs fee on? And how much of a fee?"
"It's 1% of the check. And we really do get the full amount. That was what was left after the taxes on the original amount of..."
"Uh, I don't think so."
"But I have the number of the customs officer at the Dade airport in Miami and all the lawyers."
"You don't need to go paying that fee. Something's not right."
"You seen Terry lately?" (My boss's attorney husband.) He decides to try to talk to him.
In the meantime, he calls my brother. Then, I get a call back.
"It's all a scam."
"Yeah, and what finally brought you to this conclusion." (DUH!!!)
"I called Brian and someone at his office looked it up on the internet. I found the real number to Publisher's Clearing House and they said they never call you ahead of time, they just come to your door, and they never have you send money to a foreign country."
I guess thank goodness he listens to my brother even though he doesn't listen to me. (Which puzzles me, but...)
I can live with the fact that I'm not getting a house. I'm most disappointed that I don't get a trip to somewhere besides Branson.