Can you just let it go?
Part 2 of an
Interview with Barb Roose,
Author of Surrendered
As readers learn from Jesus’ example, they’ll discover six principles that will equip them to let God lead them to victory despite their circumstances as they deal with the problems and pain they are facing.
Learn more in this interview with Barb.
Q: What are
the six surrender principles and when should they be used?
Letting go of control-loving behaviors isn’t a switch that we can just
flip. Rather, we need a new set of tools.
Those new tools are six Surrender Principles that we can activate and
apply whenever fear flows through our hearts or we’re tempted to flee, fix or
force a solution. Each week, participants learn a new principle:
1. I am not in control of others or outcomes.
2. I choose to live by faith, not rush to follow my feelings.
3. I can always let go and give my problems to God.
4. Trusting God’s promises will bless me, but pushing my plans will
stress me.
5. When fear tempts me to flee, fix, or force my way, I will choose to
stop and pray.
6. Surrender is my only path to God’s peace, power, and provision.
Q: Why is it
so hard to trust God to take care of us when he promises that is what he will
do?
I don’t know about anyone else, but I expect that God will do things like
I would do them. So, when I’ve got a problem that I can’t fix, and then God
either seems to delay or doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it, I get
disappointed. I’ve learned that disappointment is often the doorway that leads
to distrust.
However, Isaiah 55 reminds us that God’s thoughts are higher than our
thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. So, in my experience,
wilderness seasons have lasted a long time because it takes me a long time to
let go of my expectations and learn to wait in anticipation.
Here’s a big lesson for me: wilderness seasons have taught me to trust
God’s heart in hard times.
In fact, I introduce what I like to call the three “Wilderness ABC’s” for
when we’re in a wilderness season or facing a difficult trial:
1. You are ALWAYS loved.
2. BELIEVE that God is for you.
3. CHALLENGE yourself to trust God and let go.
Q: What are
some of the lessons that trials can teach us?
While some people may not agree, I’m not a fan of the saying that “everything
happens for a reason,” which many mistakenly believe is the message of Romans
8:28. When we try to apply earthly explanations to everything that happens,
that approach could lead people to feel that God intentionally causes bad
things to happen in order to teach a spiritual lesson. God doesn’t do backhanded
blessings.
However, God does redeem our trials when we keep our eyes on Him in the
midst of what we’re walking through.
Q: What are some of the things we need to let go of in our lives?
Q: What are some of the things we need to let go of in our lives?
The reality is that our hearts have to let go of the situations that we cannot control.
In the Surrendered study, I identify five control-loving behaviors (SHINE behaviors) that we need to let go in order to live like Jesus and experience God’s power, peace and provision.
Those SHINE behaviors are Scorekeeping, Helicoptering (Micro-managing), Interrupting, Nagging and Excessive Planning/Stockpiling. When we use these behaviors in our attempt to control others or outcomes, we’re shining the attention on ourselves and what we want instead of trusting that God knows what’s best.
Letting go or surrender is a prayer and a process. Rather than identify steps, I identify four questions in the “Letting Go Loop” that equip control-lovers to not only identify their control-loving behaviors but also identify God-honoring and life-giving next steps toward letting go and living like Jesus:
- Awareness – Am I trying to control others or outcomes right now?
- Arrest – What do I need to stop trying to protect, fix, or force to make happen?
- Acceptance – Where do I need to acknowledge the reality that I do not have control, but God can handle it?
- FaithFULL Action – How can I show love, kindness and wisdom without control-loving behaviors?
Trials can teach us to worship God more, depend on ourselves less and to
become more like Christ. Even though those lessons are tough to learn, the
blessings that we receive during our wilderness season and on the other side is
absolutely worth it!
Q: We’re all
familiar with the old saying, “Be careful what you wish for because you just might
get it.” How can that apply to us in a spiritual context?
There have been a few times in my life when I used control-loving
behaviors to get what I wanted, only to discover that my prize wasn’t God’s
best.
In my early 20’s, I wanted to buy a home. While I didn’t have all of the
resources that I needed, both in money and wisdom, I pushed forward and pulled
out all the stops to buy that house. Even though it was a lovely home where I
raised my family, there were many times over the years when expensive repairs
and other home-owner related issues popped up as a consequence of forcing my
way into a property that I probably should have asked a few more questions
about.
More than 20 years ago, I began praying John the Baptist’s prayer in John
3:30: “He must increase. I just decrease.” Back then, my life wasn’t perfect,
but I had a great career, happy marriage and healthy children. However, my
faith tended to fall behind everything else in my too-full-of-good-things life.
God has been answering that prayer in big and small, happy and
heartbreaking ways. The most powerful way that God has increased in my life
came as a result of a long-term addiction issue in my household that led to the
devastating end to my 26-year marriage. However, I could see and feel God’s
power, presence and provision throughout that painful experience. He has
increased in my life in ways that I am eternally grateful.
Q: What are
some ways women can creatively come together to do the study as a group, even
if they aren’t able to meet in person?
While I hate the difficult circumstances that the COVID-19 outbreak has
created around the world, but I love seeing how God dropped some opportunities
in place before we realized that we needed them. Here are a few wonderful
opportunities that are available during these wild times:
1. AMPLIFY – To help groups stay
connected and continue to study the Bible together during this time of
social-distancing, Abingdon Women and Amplify Media are making the video
sessions of Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus available
for free for group members to watch at home from any device. Sessions will be
available free of charge from April 7 to June 30, 2020.
View
the video sessions at https://my.amplifymedia.com/amplify/series/unitedmethodistpublishinghouse/32668-surrendered.
Amplify Media is a streaming service allowing churches
large and small unlimited video access in order to discover, customize, and
share diverse resources that encourage deeper discipleship and equip churches
to pursue their mission with greater impact. Learn more at AmplifyMedia.com.
2. DIGITAL DOWNLOAD – Each individual session of the Surrendered
study is available for digital download at cokesbury.com/surrendered.
3. ONLINE GROUPS – I’m so encouraged and inspired by women’s Bible study
and small group leaders across the country who are so dedicated to leading
their groups in these challenging times. I’m also a group leader at my church,
too! Like many group leaders, our group is leveraging technology like Zoom,
Facebook Groups and other platforms to meet together online.
Visit Barb Roose’s online home at barbroose.com. Readers can
also keep up with her on Facebook (BarbaraRoose), Twitter (barbroose), and Instagram (barbroose).
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