The Bachelorette: Clare: Week 3: Is this the week it falls apart?

I was throwing a hissy fit 45 minutes ago that I didn't want to cook dinner, that I wanted Mexican food. However, I made myself cook because I needed to make my last recipe before my next box comes tomorrow. 

I did accomplish setting off my smoke detector in the process tonight. I'm probably going to smell burned something all night. I actually didn't burn anything, I just made smoke. 

So... dinner is cooling off beside me as tonight's episode starts. Picking up where we left off with last episode, they are in middle of the cocktail party before the rose ceremony. We didn't have a rose ceremony last week. 

All the men want to make sure to get their time. 

Yosef is hung up on Clare being the oldest Bachelorette in history and supposedly the most mature. He's not into the raunchy humor that was the dodgeball game. He wouldn't have participated if he had been on that group date. Good for him, the father. Kudos. But do you really think that Clare came up with that date? Really? Yes, she brought up the strip idea, but I promise, the producers planted the seed. The producers run everything. 

Some of the guys are concerned about what exactly Yosef is going to say. I don't know why they care. If he makes himself out to be a jerk, it's better for everyone else if she kicks him off.

Yosef interrupts whoever she's talking to and raises two red flags. 

#1 was the group date he was on where she made the comment that they were here for her. He points out she is there for him too, and he gave up time with his daughter to be there. Clare says she understands because her mom is dying. He interrupts and asks to be able to finish what he's saying.

#2 was the whole dodgeball thing... the humiliation and so forth. Clare said that is why he was not on that particular date. He calls it classless and that he expected more from the oldest Bachelorette. He is appalled to be a part of all of this. They get in middle of a don't interrupt me, no listen to me fight. Clare tells him not to talk to her that way, that he wouldn't want him to be the father of her children, and to get out of there. 

I guess she kicked him off before he could technically quit. 

And then there was 21.

He repeats his line about the oldest Bachelorette in history. That's at least three times this episode he's said it. 

Clare goes of crying about him disrespecting her when he's done nothing "to that man." She's the oldest Bachelorette because she didn't settle for men like that or so she says. 

Here comes Dale to her rescue to hold her, kiss her on the head and console her. Clare cries that Yosef said the men were just appeasing her. Dales said he's there to please her. 

She wants to spend so much more time with him. He's everything she's wanted in a man. 

Chris Harrison talks to her a bit. He says he heard she had a good night with Dale. Chris asks if she wants to continue the cocktail party or call it a night. 

All day she wanted to spend time with them, but now she doesn't want to have conversations. She wants to take a moment, then do the rose ceremony. 

As a reminder, several men already have roses: Riley, Jason, Chasen, and Blake Moynes. 

  1. Dale (shocker to be the first off the batt {not}!)
  2. Zac C.
  3. Demar
  4. Brendan
  5. Jordan
  6. Joe
  7. Jay
  8. Bennett
  9. Eazy
  10. Ben
  11. Ed
  12. Ivan
  13. Kenny
  14. Zack J.
Going home are the guys whose names she couldn't remember: Blake Monar, Brandon (I guess, the picture doesn't look like the guy that left when trying to figure out from the cast photos--the guy that left had some gray hair on the sides and doesn't look like any of the cast photos), and Garin. 

After the three men leave, Dale gives the toast. 

The next day, some of the men compare notes of what happened the night before. Of course, Dale talks about having four sisters and being protective. 

The men wait around for the date card, and Chris Harrison arrives on the scene. Because of what happens, everyone will get dates this week. 

The first date card reads, "Jason, Jay, Eazy, Chasen, Blake, Ed, Riley, Dale... Today we separate the men from the boys." 

Clare is bummed and needs some advice. DeAnna Pappas must have been in quarantine, just waiting to give advice. She talks about it being 12 years since it was her turn. Clare gushes about Dale. 

Some guy thinks Clare is already past last night. I don't know who. I wasn't looking at the TV right that moment. Oh, it was Jason the stone cold dude from last week.

Clare has a pair of Dale's pants that smell like him. It's his ripped pants from the group date. 

Blake thinks this date is a date full of her favorite guys. It is a bunch of guys that got roses on dates. 

DeAnna says, "When you know, you know."

Clare replies, "This might be the shortest season ever."

The guys have been waiting for hours. It's evening before Clare arrives for the date. She said they originally had a day date planned, but it's late now. She wants to just have a cocktail party so they can have quality conversations. She's going to go get ready now and will see them there. 

Dale prefers this because it is going to be quality time. 

Eazy is disappointed because he thinks the day portion would have given him a chance to shine.

After a toast, Dale campaigns for a chance to talk to her for even just five minutes because of some things that happened last night. He does encourage a group hug. 

Riley finds it less than sincere. 

Clare leads Dale to her cabana. Then, her bedroom where they start off talking about the night before. He's proud of her and wants to check in. They ask each other if their hands are sweaty. Then it gets snuggly and so forth and so on. 

Meanwhile the next date card arrives. "Zack J. - I'm looking for my best friend." 

Now back to the longest five minutes Dale could ever ask for. The rest of the guys are wondering if they should send out a search party. It's been an hour by now. Eazy goes looking around trying to find where they are at. He knocks at the door. Finally, Clare answers, but says Dale is there. She wants one more hug before he leaves. 

Dale is all smiles when he gets back. None of the other men are. Riley gives the stare of death. Dale says he tried to leave early. Liar. 

After a short period of time with Eazy, they had back to the group. Clare asks the producers if they can hurry the rest of the time along. 

Riley interrupts Ed. Ed wants a few more minutes, but Clare sends him on since it's getting late. Jay says they have to be aggressive for time. Dale claims he was roaming and didn't know they were in there. Liar. 

When the other guys find out Dale got more time, no one is happy. 

Chasen breaks up the latest makeout session, but Claire wants to spend her time with him outside. 

Riley tries to call Dale on what's going on. He tells Dale to stop being a politician. Eazy says to get real. 

All the guys have figured out Clare is leaning towards Dale. When she comes on the scene, she say enjoyed every single conversation. Rose time. She thanks Dale for stepping up and being bold. She gives him the rose. 

In her syrupy sweet voice she thanks them all again for a good time. She says she's going to bed and leaves.

The rest of the guys are beat down. When all the men regather, they all confront Dale. He says he was just the best man suited for the situation. It makes no sense. He's not only a liar, he's a bad liar. Dale says he put his heart and soul into the conversation. 

The next day, Clare brags about how much sleep she got last night when she picks up Zack. Of course, we know who she was looking at.

Because there is only so much to do at the quarantine resort, they are going to have a spa day. They start with a pedicure. His feet are super ticklish, so he's having some issues relaxing. 

Then, Clare gives him an avocado face mask. His energy is nervous which makes her nervous. She wishes Dale was there. 

Some of the guys wonder if Zack can take the attention off of Dale. The other Zac wonders if Clare and Dale had been talking before they got there. 

After they clean up the guacamole, Clare and Zack head to a different pool. She thinks Zack's energy is off. She really wishes she was with Dale. Clare's dog runs out. She's going to take the dog in and says they should get ready for the rest of their date. She starts to lean in to kiss him, then stops. Zack tries to call her back and kiss her, and she blows it off. Supposedly, he pulled away, but did he? It was an awkward moment. She's wondering if she's over sensitive due to her traumas.

Zack arrives and waits and waits at the fake meal. Chris Harrison rolls in and sits down with Zack. Clare isn't coming to dinner. Zack isn't sure how the misunderstanding happened. This means Zack is going home. 

And then there were 20.

The guys know there's a connection with Dale, and there's really no use in the rest of them being there.

We don't see the date card, but it read "Don't take it personally."

The guys are glad that Dale is not there today. It's going to be a roast. Margaret Cho is going to help them with their jabs. They are supposed to come up with their best jokes. A roast wouldn't be a roast without an audience. Seeing as they are in quarantine, the audience will be the rest of the guys. 

Knowing that Dale will be there, all the guys are planning on roasting him. Bennett expects to get some remarks thrown his way, but he's not too worried knowing where most of the men's attention will be.

Bennett scares Margaret for some reason. That's the first barb.

Ben throws some shade that way too. He hits on Dale. 

As each man comes up after that, it's pick on Dale time.


Claire says it gets uncomfortable. 

Bennett really drills in on him. Then does a literal mic drop.


Dale is like, "Bring it on!"

Riley says Bennett spoke what everyone wishes they could say. He hopes it makes Clare dig deep to see why Dale is there. Clare asks Margaret if maybe it's jealousy. 

Clare wasn't amused by any of it. She says everyone can hate on, but they can't hate on love. She and Dale are a good fit. Neither of them makes a lot of sense. 

Later on the second group gets a cocktail party. Clare claims she loves a good roast even though she was saying it wasn't funny earlier. She decides to take Bennett off first. "You went after Dale so hard. What was that." He said it was only appropriate since he monopolizes time. Claire quizzes him about the comment about, "Best suited." Bennett tries to change the subject, but she wants to know what was said about Dale and being best suited. The guys are wondering if Dale saying that would have brought attention away from him.

With every guy, Clare brings up what they said about Dale. Clare wants to know about Dale's comments on being best suited. The guys try to change the subject. It doesn't work. 

The guys gather and compare notes about how Clare talks about Dale all night long. It's time for a date rose. Who talked about Dale the least? What they talk about means a lot to her. She didn't get what she needed with the guys, so she isn't giving out a rose. She tells them she has lots to think about and she'll see them at the rose ceremony tomorrow. She says if they are mad because she likes someone...


I really don't know what she expected. Someone to defend the object of her affections? She said, "It doesn't feel right that they were dishing on my fiance." Yes, she said that to the producers. On her interview, she wants to give the rose to ...

The rest of the guys have figure out that no one else has a shot. She isn't giving any of them a chance. Someone throws out the idea that they all walk out.

And with that... We have to wait until next week for it to actually blow up.