The first step to healing is giving abuse a name
Three
men share their stories of sexual abuse
as an encouragement for others to share
theirs
From Penn State to the Catholic Church
scandal, stories of sexual abuse are covered in the national media, but news
reports do not reveal all the facts of how prevalent abuse is among males. “The standard statistic is that one in six
boys is sexually abused before the age of 18 (1in6.org). However,
Male
Survivor recently reported one in four men has been
sexually abused,” Andrew J. Schmutzer,
co-author of Naming
Our Abuse: God's Pathways to Healing
for Male Sexual Abuse Survivors (Kregel
Publications/April 27, 2016/ISBN: 978-0825444005/$14.99), explains. “One thing to understand about these statistics is that
they are largely based on self-reporting, so they have been historically hard
to come by. As specialists know, men don’t readily talk about their abuse.”
Given the staggering statistics, why then does
the church seem to be averse to addressing the issue? This was the question
asked by
Schmutzer and his co-authors, Daniel A. Gorski and David Carlson, as they began
their own journey toward recovery from childhood sexual abuse in their church
support group. They also found most of the books on bookstore shelves were written
for women. In response, they joined together to tell their stories in Naming Our Abuse.
Having
experienced the horror of sexual abuse themselves, the authors are uniquely
qualified to address the healing process. Each one shares his story, modeling
for men how telling — and writing — their stories can play a significant role
in recovery. “Writing helps the brain
process the significance of what happened, not just the fact that it happened,”
Schmutzer explains. “Dignity is recaptured by remembering rightly, honestly and
deeply. Writing honors pain by putting it in black and white.”
Using
the easily relatable metaphor of a car accident, Naming Our Abuse leads the victim from their “Wreck,” to writing the
“Accident Report,” on to “Rehabilitation” and ultimately “Driving Again.” The
four-step model also illustrates for readers that healing is a process, rather
than something that can be healed through a single counseling session, support
group or some kind of spiritual experience.
Naming Our Abuse also appeals
to men by requiring active engagement as opposed to passive reading. Readers
are encouraged to go at their own pace, allowing themselves to identify with
the fears, experiences, relational fallout and emotional pain that the authors share.
After reading through each stage of recovery, the book prompts readers to
reflect on their own experiences (journaling) and consider next steps (questions
to answers and action points) and concludes by offering coping tips to help
readers on their journey.
Learn
more about Naming Our Abuse and its
authors at www.kregel.com.
Advance
Praise
“This book will be a great help to those who
have suffered in secret not knowing if they can tell anyone their story or if
they will be believed. Please
read this book so you will better understand what many men are facing; and if
you have been abused, you will be glad it has been put into your hands.”
~ Dr. Erwin W. Lutzer, senior
pastor, The Moody Church, Chicago
“In Naming Our Abuse, these powerful stories bring us
that much closer to shattering the silence and shame that has choked the lives
of too many for too long.”
~ Boz Tchividjian,
executive director, GRACE
About
the authors
Andrew J. Schmutzer is Professor of Biblical
Studies at Moody Bible Institute
in Chicago, IL. He holds a B.A. in Theology from Moody Bible Institute, a Th.M. in Old Testament from Dallas Theological Seminary and a
Ph.D. in Old Testament Studies from Trinity
International University. Schmutzer’s writing includes numerous academic
essays, articles and study note contributions to the New Living Translation
Study Bible (Tyndale). He’s a member of Christian
Counseling Professionals of Chicagoland, as well as an associate member
of the Trauma & Transformation project to address sexual abuse in
the Catholic Church. He serves as a consultant for www.1in6.org., an organization to help male
victims of sexual abuse.
Schmutzer was
born in South Africa and raised by missionary parents in Zululand and
Swaziland. He and his wife, Ashley, are co-founders of a support group for sexual
abuse survivors called CHAI (Courageous
Healing of Abuse and Isolation). The couple has three children.
Daniel A. Gorski is a 30-year
veteran software engineer who has worked for companies such as AT&T and
Nokia. He earned a B.S. in Mathematics and Computer Science from the University
of Illinois and a M.S. in Computer Science from Kansas State University,
specializing in expert systems and software automation.
David Carlson is a special
education teacher, working in the suburbs of Chicago for the majority of his
adult life. He takes great pride in being an advocate for his students and
their families, helping them to navigate whatever challenges life may present.
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