Monday, June 6, 2016

#TheBachelorette turns #RoidRage ugly

I would say that I wish Peyton had softball games on Tuesday except for the fact that The Bachelorette is on Monday and Tuesday of this week. Even if I don't get to live Tweet, at least I can fast forward through commercials by starting late.

So, according to the previews, we do get hot tubs, private concerts and awkward yoga. In other words, nothing new.

The men wake up to a dirty house. It's a mess. Someone didn't put their drink glasses in the dishwasher. That's what happens in a frat house. According to Robby, Chad's leftover meat plates are everywhere. Like the rose ceremony, he somehow stuck around.

Evan also complains about Chad still around.

Chad brags about how much more he can lift than the guy next to him and is quite cocky about it. He has to measure out his calories and everything.

It's not long before Chris Harrison comes in and let's the guys know there are two one-on-one dates and a group date. He starts off by saying the week is going to be different, but that's not different. Oh, I guess last week there were two group dates, so it's different from week 1, but not different in general.

The first date card reads: "Chase - Let's get physical. Love, JoJo."

Chad already knows he is at a better place than anyone else, or so he says. Oooook.

JoJo says that she is already having more feelings than she thought she would at this point. She's interested to see if there is anything there with Chase since he didn't have a date last week. Because she has always wondered about yoga, she's going to try to today. It's a very hot yoga studio, and they show up for a more intimate than your typical yoga according to the instructor. They tell her they have only known each other a week. Talk about awkward.

They start off with pelvic thrusts, saying, "hey" a lot, and a tantrum.



Back at the house, there's a whole other kind of grunting as Chad and Daniel lift weights together. Evan believes those two may find love together if it doesn't work out with JoJo.

JoJo and Chase get a second yoga instructor that helps show what I will call kinky yoga. Remember a few seasons ago when there was breathing on each other? I got retweeted by Chris Harrison when that happened. Instead of breathing they do awkward lap sitting position kissing. They are left alone.

That night, after they get dressed, they sit down with some food in front of them, you know, not eating. They laugh about the ridiculousness of their yoga. I think their instructor made up all her terms.

Chase asks, as they go forward, how to make sure she remembers their good moments of today. Chase shares how his parents divorced when he was 8, so he knows that is not what he wants. He wants a forever marriage. She quizzes him on whether or not he thinks that he can really find THE person in a process so quick and unpredictable. Not surprisingly, he gets the date rose.

However, that's not the end of the evening. It's time for a private concert with Charles Kelley. If you don't recognize the name like I didn't, I did recognize him as a member of Lady Antebellum.

At the house, the next date card arrives. "Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Vinny, Nick, Evan, Alex, Chad - Love has no secrets." 

While, of course, some guys lament over not getting the one-on-one to the camera, others while still in the group such as James Taylor say they wish they were going on the date. But not Chad. He says he wishes they'd all just go and leave him so he could go on the one-on-one the next day. Some other have a better attitude saying that a date is a date. 

Jordan goes after Chad saying that 12 is better than 20 last night at the cocktail party, or 26 the first night. 

James Taylor says, at least he (Chad) has a date unlike Derek (who doesn't think he has a snowball's chance at getting the one-on-one since he says without a doubt his next chance will be cocktail hour), Luke or Robby. Evan suggests Chad mark his name off the card. 

One of the guys points out if it ends up being a group activity broken into teams, someone was going to have to work together... Jordan says you better hope if you get on Chad's team it is a weight lifting contest, not a spelling one. 

Chad takes offense saying that Jordan has done nothing with his life but thrown a piece of leather around. Just my opinion, but even if he wasn't an star, at least he made it to the NFL. 

Alex says something to him that was bleeped, then Chad starts making fun of him. Alex would love to take Chad outside and show him what it means to be a Marine. Alex may be small, but I bet he could take him.

The next morning, the guys load up in a couple of limos to head off on their date. Alex throws out a commentary to the camera about Chad "not being there for the right reasons." By the time the limo arrives, they've gotten all wound up.

They arrive at a theater where they meet JoJo. She won't tell them what they are there for. They have a seat and the show starts. A woman comes to a microphone and starts breathing heavy and goes into a routine something like a scene from When Harry Met Sally. You know that famous scene?

The whole show is "Sex Talks," so the guys are supposed to prepare their stories to share with the entire audience. They have 45 minutes to get ready. Evan says, "no big deal. I run erectile dysfunction clinics for a living"

If JoJo wants honesty, I'm scared about what is about to happen. As they prepare, Daniel says he doesn't care and will share anything. Chad says JoJo has not earned the right to hear any stories yet.



Let's just not even talk about the stories that are told. Embarrassing stories no one every needed to know are told. All in bad taste. Evan tells everyone he is in the field of ED, so being in the house full of men, he wants to tell the dangers of steroid use, implying that Chad takes steroids.

Chad is supposed to be the last of the night, but not before he yanks Evan by the back of the shirt, ripping his shirt as he walks by. Chad calls JoJo to the stage, and says he isn't going to tell a story of the past because it's about the future. He tries to kiss her in front of everyone, but she turns a cheek in to avoid the lips.

When the men walk off stage, JoJo asks the audience what they thought of the various guys. Most guys cheer Evan on, but when Chad comes in ready to pick a fight. Daniel tells Chad to calm down as it was all in good fun. Chad's knuckles are bleeding from hitting a door. he says he needs to lift weights before he kills someone.

At the cocktail party that night, JoJo asks the guys if they were nervous about today. The first walk-off we see is between JoJo and Jordan. He shares with her about putting her career ahead of his relationship in the past and trying to be careful over the past couple of years. He has only said "I love you" to one person in the past. Cue kiss and move on to the next person.

Next up is Alex, then Vinnie. Clips of one guy after the other as we hear a voice over of JoJo talking about what she's looking for in a man.

Just when Nick and JoJo sit down, Chad comes up to get his time. JoJo tells him that they just sat down, so he needs to give them some time. Chad goes off in a huff. JoJo asks how it's going with Chad, but before he can answer, there's a lot of noise of Chad scooting furniture around. He sits down within earshot and starts whistling, so Nick and JoJo walk off to some place more private.

Chad ends up walking back out to where some of the guys are sitting around. The men there ask Chad how he thought his performance went today. He didn't think the kiss blow off was as big a deal as the other guys took it. Chad thinks that after being bullied his whole life that Evan is now trying to be the bully. He acts like Evan started the physical altercation earlier.

When more guys come back out, Evan asks Chad while he is there and what happened with the shirt ripping earlier. Chad tells Evan to stay away from him and do his own thing and stop being a bully. All the guys get up and walk off.

Meanwhile, the last date card arrives as the guys without a date talk about what they think is going on during the group date.

"James T. - Let's kick it old school."

Well, Luke said if he didn't get the date card he was going to go by himself in the corner and cry, so I guess we know what happens next.

Chad is lurking in the background as he talks to Christian, James F., Grant, Daniel, aka the parade as losers as Chad calls them.

JoJo finally gives Chad some time, and when she does, he whines about not wanting to be there with 12 dudes because he had the impression that he was getting a date. When asked, Chad says Evan pushed him first. After all, Evan is trying to bully the bully. JoJo tells him to quit being a bully. She tells him that she sees more than one side to him.

Evan comes up to interrupt which only makes Chad angrier. Evan tells JoJo he is not going to stay around if Chad is because it will only lead to bad things in the end. This puts JoJo on the spot. She tells Evan she's going to have to think about this.

JoJo tells the cameras that she doesn't want Evan to leave, but she doesn't want to throw Chad out because there are some things she likes about him. (Some girls go for the jerks, you know.) I'd be good if she sent both of them home. I don't like weasel-looking Evan with his comb over hair for his personality either.

After a while, JoJo comes in to talk to everyone and give out the group rose, but says she needs to talk to someone first. She calls Evan out to talk. She tells Evan she's enjoyed getting to know him and thinks he must be a great father. She then addresses the ultimatum. She says it's hard to make that decision between the two right now, but asks him to accept the group rose.

I don't know why she did this. I despise Chad, but think Evan's a weasel.

However, that did mean an auto send home of Chad. Chad CANNOT believe his eyes when Evan walked back in. JoJo says the process is hard, gives a little speech, then Chad asks if this is for real. The men snap at him for talking while JoJo is trying to talk. JoJo calls Chad disrespectful and says she doesn't like this side of him.

Chad is the last one to join the literal bus for the ride home. If looks could kill, they'd all be dead.

The morning is a whole new day... 

Derek didn't feel safe sleeping in the room with Chad. They have a security guard standing at the door to the room to ensure everyone's safety.

James Taylor and JoJo are suddenly already on their date. They are dressed like a blast from the 50s in their old car. The first part of their date is swing dancing lessons from a 92 year old woman. Actually, another couple joins the old lady to teach them. 

James had promised beforehand he was the world's worst dancer, and he may have been correct.

Security is roaming around the pool, keeping an eye on Chad. Of course, Chad has never met a set of guys more sensitive. If the producers really thought he was dangerous, I'm pretty sure they would have sent him on already. 

James Taylor is such a dork. But his positive attitude is attractive to JoJo. After their lesson, they had outside where there are lots of couples of dancing. They freestyle because he's not so good with the steps.

JoJo is hoping that as the night goes on that they will move from friend zone to something more.

At the house, Chad and Daniel talk outside about last night. Daniel asks Chad if he thinks he might be a little out of control. Daniel worries about guilt by association as each day passes. He compares Chad to Hitler or Mussolini and being friends with one of them.

James and JoJo continue their date at a lookout point. She's looking to see if there is chemistry. She talks to him about last season being hurt by Ben. James shares his sad story of not being popular in school, being made fun of as a child, and not being the guy girls are interested in (that would be his best friend). She can dump him after this sob story. She has to give him the rose.

His confidence is growing, so he pulls out his guitar to serenade her. After that, she thinks she can connect with him. At least she can kiss him.

The next day, it's back to lifting weights around the pool. 

The men have all day to anticipate the rose ceremony. They all wonder how the day is going to go having to hang around Chad all day.

Chris Harrison calls them all together early in the day. He talked to JoJo already, and tonight there will not be a cocktail party. They are going to go straight into the rose ceremony.

It's not as bad as it sounds though, because she is coming over to hang out all day with them at the pool. Harrison buried the lead. When Harrison leaves, Evan follows him out to tell him about what's been going on with Chad. (Like Harrison hasn't been told already?) Evan talks about the security guards lurking around now.

Harrison says that all the testosterone and some conflicts is not unusual, but asks if Evan thinks Chad is a legit problem. Harrison asks Chad outside to talk and asks about the signs and threats of violence. Chad says he just stood up for himself after being shoved by Evan.

Harrison says that both he and the show has to draw a line. He's not kicking Chad off, but Chad needs to go settle it.

AND THAT'S WHERE WE END UNTIL TOMORROW. 

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