So very glad 5 went home on #thebachelorette tonight

It's been two weeks since we've see The Bachelorette, but we pick right back up with all of the men are celebrating the fact that Chad's bags have been taken away. There's even a song written by James Taylor over the event. They even spread his protein powder that he left behind as if they are ashes.

What they don't know is that Chad had to find his own way out of the woods and in figuring out how to get back to wherever it is he's going, ends up back at the men's house. He knocks on the front door, and Daniel answers while eating his bowl of cereal. 

The guys are trying to figure out what he's doing back. The guys asked what happened that day. He accuses Alex of talking smack about him the whole time. He plays the role of the victim. Chad tells all the rest of the men that he was backed in the corner and had to threaten him. Jordan tries to apologize for the earlier blow up.

Weasely Evan asks for $20 for his torn shirt again. He doesn't get it before Chad finally decides to leave.

Meanwhile, Alex and JoJo are still on their date. We see a kiss before he heads home.

When Alex arrives, they pick him up and carry him on their shoulders through the house. They present him with sparklers and a big cake. Seriously. He's their hero.

Since the last episode started with a rose ceremony, we have one early tonight. JoJo shows up to the cocktail party, and tells all the guys that Chad wasn't who she thought she was. Other than that, she had an incredible week.

Chase gets some time with JoJo, and they play around with the inflatable balls from one of the dates. I'm sure they almost suffocated while both stuck in one kissing.

Robby thinks his relationship is miles ahead of the other guys. They go make a wish at the wishing well. Another face suck. The guys turn green as they watch. Jealous or sick or both.

So, random under the radar guy, I mean James F., reads a poem to her. I really did have to wait for his name to show up. He doesn't finish his conversation, but in comes Alex and his rose to interrupt. The guys don't take that well. 

Daniel was trying to have his time when Luke tries to interrupt. He asks for a little more time since Luke already has his rose. Luke is kind of intense. He also single-handedly responsible for the whole in the ozone with the height of his hair. 

While the other guys are standing around, Evan, Wells and Derek (I seriously) had trouble remember the other two names... long two weeks or they just aren't memorable) decide that the fact that Chad was there meant their was a common enemy. Now they decide they need to create another enemy. As they talk, Luke tells Evan that if he doesn't go get his time in, he's going to go for seconds. Evan looks at him weird...

Meanwhile Jordan and his rose go out to find JoJo. They are on the other side of the wall being really grabby.

Evan still hasn't gotten his time. JoJo goes to sit in the group, but just as she does, Chris Harrison comes to ring his glass and take her away.

Time for the rose ceremony. As reminder, Jordan, Luke and Alex already have their roses.

Thirteen men left. Three already have them. Wells thinks he's down and out.
  1. Derek
  2. Robby
  3. Chase
  4. Wells (guess he wasn't as bad off as he thought)
  5. Grant (I had a feeling he was gone)
  6. Vinny (not sure why he's still here)
  7. James Taylor
  8. Evan (I was ready for him and his bad hair to go)
That leaves James F. and Daniel the Canadian are going home. Daniel decides that she's going for personality instead of looks or he would still be around. She didn't take his body into account. 

JoJo ends the evening by announcing they are headed to Uruguay. James Taylor knows where that is. His momma was a geography teacher. 

In Uruguay, JoJo hopes to figure out if the men are all there for her. I'm guessing it's either that or their 15 minutes of fame.

At the Grand Hotel which is described as grand, they get the first date card.

"Jordan - Let's seal the date."

The reaction is deafening. The men are upset. Wells is really ticked and think Jordan is playing a game. The guys think something is up since two football dates revolved around Jordan. 

The date takes place on a yacht. I know. Shocking. They see the seals out in the water and Jordan barks at them. Thankfully they put on clothes in the form of wet suits and swim with the seals.

Now, granted, I don't need to see the gory details of rounding the bases on the yacht, but has anyone else noticed that we're seeing a whole lot more of the guys whining about each other than actual date interaction this season? 

While the guys are sitting around reading gossip magazines, Vinny the barber is cutting Alex's hair. Evidently the magazines were from Vinny's barber shop? An article about JoJo and her ex bring about a buzz kill. Her ex is also a Chad and he slammed her.

To hopefully broaden the hopes of those sulking over rumors from In Touch, another date card arrives. 

Luke reads, "Luke, Derek, Chase, Evan, James, Vinny, Grant, Wells, Alex - I can't stand to be away from you."

JoJo is trying to get to know Jordan. Her doubt is that she knows someone who dated Jordan and heard some not so great things about him. Over "dinner" she tells him that her biggest worry is getting her heart broken. She talks about her ex and how there were so many highs and lows. JoJo tells him that his ex talked about how on and off again they were. He gives the reason why is the fact that he was focused more on his career than his relationship. There was no cheating even though he may have talked to girls when he shouldn't have. JoJo doesn't want to find herself in the same situation. He said his pastor growing up always said, "don't say 'I love you' unless you plan to put a ring on it." This ex JoJo knows is the only girl he ever said, "I love you" to. 

He gets the rose because his answer was satisfactory and the fact her heart skipped a beat when Jordan said that she was falling in love with her earlier in the day. 

They go out into the public square and dance to a mariachi type band. 

Later that night in their on camera interview with JoJo, the producers show JoJo the article the men had seen. She asks why they are showing her. They explain that the guys had seen it, and she gets extremely upset. She says the ex just can't let anyone be happy. 

JoJo tearfully explains to all the men that the article is a load of lies and she is there for love. A love fest follows. Then, she cries more to the cameras. 

The next day, the guys not on the group date (Jordan and Robby), are having a spa date. Pedicures and facials. Jordan nibbles on the cucumbers from his eyes.

Now, onto the group date. They run up a dune and try to figure out how to sand surf. James Taylor is about as klutzy as me (I won't tell you about all of my bruises). I don't see anyone nail it though.

Derek jealously eyes a hug with Luke.

The next date card arrives... "Robby - Love is within our reach." Robby states tomorrow will be awesome and America will see who is in love with JoJo. 

Date again... JoJo tells all the men that night that she hopes they realize her intentions are pure.

Luke takes her off first. He says an ex is of no worry to him. He's really intense and he really creeps me out.

James Taylor doesn't believe anything in the article.

Wells toasts to the future, not the past. No more talk of Chads!

Luke talks with the other guys about how awkward the group dates are and how they become more and more so. Derek is getting uber jealous. He had the first one on one, but he wants to make sure there's still a future. He breaks up the conversation she's having with Evan. Derek says last week was hard for him and was definitely jealous. She does't want them to fall behind.

Alex is getting antsy. He says everyone thinks Derek is a nice guy, but he doesn't like him. Alex thinks he's too jealous and insecure, unlike himself. Alex talks to JoJo about how real their reality TV relationship is. 

When it comes time to hand out the date rose, Derek gets it. Alex thought that JoJo told him she would get it. I didn't hear that, but Alex doesn't need a pity rose. 

So, Robby. JoJo compares their relationship to the puppy love that can grow into something more. They're going to see what South America is all about. (Like all of North America is about the same thing.) I guess it's the cultural tourist traps she refers to. 

Jordan is trying to figure out the math for this week. I wish Vinnie had given James T a better haircut. 

After wandering around, they go out to the beach and decide to jump off of a cliff. She feels safe since he was a competitive swimmer. What good does that do if you bust your head on a rock?

Chase wants to know what Derek said to JoJo to get the rose. Alex jumps in talking about JoJo's wording about reassurance. Alex is starting to turn villain. Maybe it's his Napoleon complex.

So there's some salad on the plate as Robby and JoJo have their date wine. JoJo thinks Robby has emotional intelligence. Her words, not mine. He wants to tell her that he's falling in love. 

His sob story to get the date rose is about a friend dying while driving off a bridge while texting his girlfriend. Since the guy had already asked his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage, this taught him to quit his job and go after what he wants. To hide something is to lie to her, so gravity and love are going to take you where you are going to go, so tells her that he has fallen in love with her. JoJo doesn't have to tell him that she loves him back. He gets the rose, and that's all he needs.

It feels so good to JoJo to be loved. She could see herself falling in love with him after tonight. Under the fireworks on the beach. 

Onto another cocktail party! Evan knows he needs to have his time. 

Before JoJo arrives, Derek pulls off Jordan, Robby, Chase and Alex. Derek tells the guys it's been like a high school clique and he doesn't want to be bullied. Alex calls Derek sensitive. *GASP* Chase says he and Alex don't have roses, so have better things to do tonight.

Luke is like, anyone want to tell the rest of us what is going on? Jordan's like, "anyone else feel left out of the group?" Grant thinks all this is HS drama too. 

I'm wondering if there's a snowball's chance of us getting in another rose ceremony in the next 12 minutes. Chris Harrison arrives to tell the guys that after talking to JoJo, there will be no cocktail party because JoJo knows what she is going to do. Three men will be going home tonight. YES!

Right now, I hope it's Evan, Alex and I don't even care who else going home. I liked Alex alright until tonight. Wells. Let's send Wells home. I have a feeling though, we're going to get a cliff hanger. Oh, or creepy, intense Luke.

Now, we go from 11 to 8. Jordan, Derek and Robby are safe. That's most of the big hair. 

So the whiney voice over of the ceremony is Evan and his lack of time. Fight for it! 

Ok, so here we go...
  1. Luke (the other big hair)
  2. Chase (his hair is getting bigger up front too)
  3. Alex (pooh)
  4. James (his Lyle Lovett hair needs to go)
  5. Wells (eh)
That means Grant, Evan (bad hair) and Vinny (the barber) go home. Whoever will fix their hair the rest of the season?

Evan felt he should have taken better advantage of his time.

Grant is hurt and confused.

JoJo and Vinny mumble to each other as he leaves. I don't know what they said. He is in tears as he leaves though. He's hurt. 

Next week, the overly obsessed men's club. Jordan becomes a target. There's a rose JoJo doesn't want to give out.