Author shares essential steps to recovery
Part 2 of an interview with Crystal M. Sutherland,
Author of Journey to Heal
Crystal Sutherland—a survivor herself—knows that a simple formula
for healing from such a painful past doesn’t exist. But that doesn’t mean it
isn’t possible. For adult female survivors who want to progress from simply
coping to living abundantly, Journey to
Heal (Kregel Publications) guides readers
through essential steps to recovery found in Scripture. Though candid and open
about her personal journey, Sutherland avoids triggering descriptions. Instead,
she offers stories of hope form other survivors and practical wisdom to lead
you down a new path toward discovering the life of wholeness God desires for
you.
Q:
How can Journey to Heal be a tool for those who want to find emotional
and spiritual freedom?
Journey to Heal
is a practical and comprehensive guidebook for survivors of sexual abuse. It’s a road map to recovery — a travel guide
for the journey, based on what God has shown me to be true in my own life. It
takes readers through a series of essential steps of recovery, founded on
Biblical truths and practical wisdom, providing a clear pathway to healing.
Readers will be led to process their stories, reject shame and discover God’s
love for them.
Q:
How did you incorporate other survivors’ experiences into Journey to Heal?
The
stories I share from other survivors are ones I came to know through mentoring
several women through my Bible study for survivors. These stories are shared
with their permission. I selected stories I felt would help my readers most and
would illuminate certain concepts in the book.
Q:
What role does faith play in recovery?
Sexual
abuse leaves a soul wound that only God can heal. There are no quick fixes or
one-size-fits-all solutions. Through my own experience I’ve discovered there
are essential steps we can take and biblical truths we can apply to our lives
to heal fully. Ultimately, I believe complete healing only happens when we
place our hope in Christ.
Q:
Why do you think it’s so critical to write down specifically what happened
during the abuse?
I
encourage readers to start a truth journal and to document their journey of
recovery: not only their stories of abuse, but also the truths God reveals to
their heart and the revelations they experience during our study together.
Specifically, writing down their stories helps to capture all the facts and
feelings involved with the abuse. It enables the reader to put all the pieces
of their story together in a safe place where they can ultimately process and
release the painful emotions involved. It is a very healthy way to acknowledge
their story of abuse and prepare their hearts for the next steps in their
journey to heal.
Q:
A child is never responsible for being exploited, but why do survivors often
feel so much shame and guilt? Do those feelings ever go away?
It’s
complicated. There are layers upon layers of words spoken, lies believed and
circumstances that can lead victims to believe they were at fault. Everyone is
different too. I have mentored survivors who immediately accept they are not to
blame for their abuse, but then there are those I’ve met who find it very
difficult to overcome their deep feelings of shame. I think it often depends on
the circumstances, the length of time throughout which the abuse took place and
if there was justice or validation involved. I do believe, with God’s help and
through actively processing their story, survivors can overcome feelings of
shame and guilt.
Q:
You write in Journey to Heal that you keep a photo of yourself on
display that was taken shortly before the abuse began. Why do you do that, and
why do you recommend other survivors do it as well?
I
display the photo simply to remind myself I am not to blame for the abuse that
took place in my life, no matter how I might feel in the moment. As odd as it
sounds, adult survivors (myself included) often blame the child they were for
not speaking up or taking control of the situation. Doing so leads to feelings
of guilt and shame that are often fortified by the lies we believe and the
things that have been said (or not said) by friends or family members. It’s
important for survivors in recovery to see themselves as the children they
were, and not as the adults they are today. It is from that perspective we
better process our stories of abuse and reject feelings of guilt and shame. One
of the best ways to remember who we were as children is through our childhood
photos.
Q:
What would you say to someone who is holding this secret right now, afraid to
reach out for help?
I
would tell them they are not alone, they are not to blame, and they are deeply
loved. I would add there are well more than 42 million adult survivors of
sexual abuse today, many of whom are on their own journey to heal. I would
encourage them to read my book and seek out a Christian counselor or pastor
whom they can share their story with and begin the healing process.
Learn more about
Journey to Heal and Crystal M. Sutherland at www.crystalsutherland.org, Facebook (Crystal.Sutherland) or Twitter (@cryssutherland).
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