Monday, January 23, 2017

The #cattiest season of #TheBachelor ever


Tonight, on the latest edition of the raunchiest season of The Bachelor ever, we pick up with the women trying to figure out if Corinne is doing unimaginable things with Nick or if she is upstairs snoring again.

Side note: A media friend sent me a link from Fox News' entertainment section today. "Raunchiest" was a term they used to describe this season too. I have called it that from week one. If people in media think it's bad, it's horrible.

We pick up on the conversation between Nick and Vanessa where she asks him if she wants a wife or someone to _________ around with. She's willing to give back the rose because if he's not serious and really wants someone like Corinne, she's done. Nick says he wants to know when she is upset and wants her to be honest, but that he wants her to be a little more patient about Corinne.

Chris Harrison arrives to pull Nick away so they can all get ready for the rose ceremony set for later in the evening.

Taylor and Sarah go up to find Corinne in her room and tell her that the rest of the women are not happy about appearances. They tell her she is acting privileged and needs to pull it together. Corinne doesn't give a flying fig.

Before Nick goes in for the ceremony, Chris asks Nick about Corinne because she is rubbing the others the wrong way. We don't really get Nick's answer. We get B-roll of Corinne being the immature slutty brat that she is.

Remember... Vanessa, Rachel and Danielle L. have a rose.

  1. Raven
  2. Taylor 
  3. Whitney
  4. Kristina
  5. Jasmine
  6. Alexis
  7. Astrid
  8. Danielle M.
  9. Jaimi
  10. Josephine
  11. Sarah
  12. Corinne
The voice overs the whole time talk about how immature she is. Everyone is upset. I still had problems understanding the names Nick the Mumbler was saying. 

Going home are: Christen and Brittany. 

With the women gathered, Corinne gives a toast that makes everyone ill. 

The next day, Taylor is having to bit her tongue just being in the room with Corinne. Chris Harrison arrives to tell the women to pack their bags. They will be traveling around the globe, but the first stop is Nick's hometown of Milwaukee.

The race is on to pack it up. I'm not sure what it mans for so many women to meet his family so early on. A lot of people went to Iowa with Farmer Chris, but they didn't all meet family as I recall. 

His parents wonder what's up with him coming home so early in the process. Nick claims last week was a big week because he got to know some of the women so much better. He feels same as the same anxiety and nervousness as before. His mom does think this can work out, but worries maybe he has just been single for too long. 

Nick means all the women in a park. He gives a little spiel about the town. The first one-one-one date starts right there. He asks Danielle L. to go on the date with him. 

As they walk along, Nick answers one of the questions from this week's Fantasy League predictions. He once jumped in a dirty river for $12. They head into the local bakery where they have a cookie with Nick's face drawn in icing... a Nickerdoodle.. They decorate some of their own cookies while they are there. They make a mess with icing and proceed to lick it off. Thank goodness it's not Corinne. 

As they walk by the deli window, they see an ex-girlfriend. He stops and says, "oh my goodness, there's my ex." This is so staged. Why did he stop? They dated three to four months, and now they all sit down to talk to dish. She offers to ask Danielle's questions. "Why do you think Nick is still on the market?" The answer is he bails if he just doesn't feel it. Otherwise, Amber is complementary towards Nick. 

Then, they hang out at the park. There were lots of firsts here. Kiss... She shares the awkwardness of her first boyfriend. 

Later that night, they chit chat more about most embarrassing moments, flaws, if she goes to the grocery store in her sweatpants. They talk about her parents' divorce and how that has made her more cautious about relationships. She was 17 when they split and thought her parents were so romantic while she was growing up. 

At the fanciest mansion in Milwaukee, there is a knock at the door. "Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, Danielle M., Corinne... Say cheese."

This will mean Raven gets the second one-on-one. 

Nick keeps talking about how much potential she has and how he thinks there's something about her. He does give her the date rose. Nick has a surprise for her. It has to be a private concert. Well, not so private because there's a crowd in the local theatre. It is a concert though. It's Chris Lane. I'm out of it, and I have no idea who that is. They are excited and dance on stage. 

Alright. Next day. Group date. Corinne wishes she was at a nice spa having a chicken taco, but instead they are at a dairy farm. One of his friends growing up lived on a farm, so it brings up warm memories. 

Lots of the milk on the farm ends up as cheese, we are told by the farmers. The farmers also put the women to work. They have to feed the cows their hay. Next, they have to try to milk the cow. Nick tries first, but some of the women are having to coach him. Jaimi shows him how it's done.

Corinne wants no part of it. She really doesn't want to scoop manure. She's glad she didn't wear designer today and claims she needs sushi. After a while, she's off by herself again. You know, if she doesn't like what's going on, she'll go spend time by herself.

The doorbell rings at the house. Danielle reads the card to Raven. "Let's kick it." Raven is going to be so giddy.

Back on the date. Corinne said her hand was going too numb to shovel "poopy." She says "poopy" several times, and it's so obnoxious. 

Kristina wants to tell Nick about her past, but says she is probably going to have to tell it in pieces since they will have so little time together to talk. I know it sounds bad, but I don't want to listen to her. 

Corinne isn't in the group, but overhears everyone talking about her. She now figures out that the women have a problem with her. She compares herself to a cornhusk you have to peel layers on before you get to the golden, sweet, buttery corn.

Vanessa gives Nick a book that her students made him. The book is all about Vanessa. 

Corinne decides to confront all the women about what she heard. She addresses the crowd acknowledging she's not their favorite person, but they need to come to her if they have a problem. Sarah asks if Corinne is genuinely ready to marry a 36-year-old man. Somehow Corinne thinks this disrespect has to do with her nap. I don't know what Sarah said that made Corinne address that. Corinne also says she does not think that age had anything to do with it. Corinne also claims she seriously almost had to go to the hospital because she lost feeling in her fingers at the farm. 

Vanessa explains to Corinne that there is friction because she first missed the rose ceremony, then the pool party. While all of this is going on, Rachel tells Nick how hard it is for her to be vulnerable. She's making her move while everyone else is obsessed with the drama such as Kristina asking Corinne if she is "there for the right reasons."

Corinne gets her time with Nick. She explains how she told all the women to come to her if they had a problem. She says she feels so much better and that she doesn't feel like there will be issues from now on. She's trying to act mature all of a sudden. (She had just said told the camera about how she was personally attacked by Kristina. "I mean we're fighting for a fiance, not a pickle.")

Speaking of Kristina, she got the group date rose. It's going to get ugly.

On to the date with Raven... She's so excited to be on a one-on-one in his hometown. This is special! 

She thinks they can bond over small town. Nick takes Raven to Bella's soccer game. This is the youngest child of 11. They warm up and play with her team. After watching a little bit of the actual game, Nick introduces Raven to his parents. Dad asks about the story behind her name. 

At the house, Corinne tells several women about her speech, but they were all there. It makes no sense. In the bathroom, Taylor is in her bikini with her feet in the bathtub telling Danielle how sick of Corinne she is. That's bizarre in itself.

Nick and Raven take Bella roller skating. The girls talk while Nick skates laps. We learn that, fortunately, Bella was not allowed to watch Bachelor in Paradise. The must send Bella home after a while. Nick and Raven continue to skate and skate. 

That night over dinner, they talk about past relationships. Raven tells the story of literally catching her ex-boyfriend in the act. It's pretty graphic. I think Nick felt a bit uncomfortable, in fact. Regardless, she gets the date rose. 

There's not enough time left in the show at this point to get another rose ceremony in tonight, but we do get to start the cocktail party in the last 10 minutes.

Corinne decides Nick is going to see the real Taylor since he hasn't yet. Danielle snags him first. Nick tells her that she looks fantastic. That's because one of her boobs is seriously about to pop out. She tells him she's going to go after what she wants.

Since Danielle already has her rose, Taylor interrupts quickly. 

Corinne decides to start turning some of the women against Taylor. Josephine takes the bait and joins in. Josephine thinks it's hypocritical of Taylor to say what she did about Danielle getting time first. I think Josephine is weird. 

Corinne then pulls Taylor outside to call her out. She calls Taylor mean. "You heart my feelings!" Taylor reasserts she doesn't think that Corinne had the emotional intelligence, maturity, etc. to have a committed relationship. It gets catty. Corinne doesn't think Taylor is qualified as a mental health counselor. Corinne drops being a multi-million dollar company owner. 

The show ends there with a promise that the cat fight will continue. 


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