Silently singing

Did anyone catch this craziness on America's Got Talent this week?

Obviously, all I have done other than work lately is watch too much TV, and honestly, I haven't done much of that either. This "talented" woman here was the topic of discussion between my Facebook friend Christine and I this week. She has agreed to write my death song, but said it would include many lines from my favorite reality TV shows, including the Hoarding: Buried Alive and The Bachelor.

I need a life worse than I thought. OK. I not only admit that I sing silently, I admit that my life kind of is pathetic enough that my eulogy just might center around reality TV. So, here are some of the lines she will have to fit in. Feel free to add more ideas for her.

I just want to guard and protect you're heart... Will you accept this rose... If you are here for the right reasons.

Love should be multiplied, not divided. But she didn't want the sister wives, she wanted the man.

Survivors ready... The tribe has spoken. It's time to vote. If you have the hidden immunity, now's the time to play it.

Don't touch my stuff.

Do you want to pawn it or sell it? I've got to have this, if I can get it for the right price. I don't know much about this, but I have a buddy that's an expert, mind if I call him in?

CeeLo dresses like a peacock. Howie is the most annoying man on the planet.

You're going to Vegas! You're on the Hot Tamale Train, yes you are!

I'm sorry, but you have been E-limenated from this race.