The Bachelor: Matt: Week 10: The Most Excruciating Episode Ever

I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that it was a three hour blogging night. Probably a good thing I didn't think about it earlier in the day. 

In the intro to the night and the After the Final Rose, the pick seems to be spoiled in a clip from Ancho Usual Host (you know I have a thing for making up names, but honestly, I could not think of Emmanuel Acho at the moment). Does that mean I could just end the night here?

It's snowy at the resort as Matt heads off to see his mom and brother. He says there's a lot that has gone on, and in the past, he's been guarded.

His brother asks if he is happy with his decisions. Patty says it's good to see him happy and animated. She thinks it's a long shot that he'll be engaged at the end.

Michelle arrives with flowers for Patty and flatters her by talking about all the good she's heard about Matts mom from the very beginning. She shares the difficulty of leaving her teaching job to come. It doesn't take long for John to pull Michelle away to grill her. John is extremely skeptical and asks about past relationships. John hasn't really seen Matt in relationships before, but sees him happy today.

Patty sits down with Michelle next. She wants to know if Michelle had peace with introducing Matt to her family. Matt always had friends with strong families and it hurt Patty that she couldn't offer him that. So, she isn't surprised that he was with her since she had a strong family. Mom is teary eyed and has been from the time Michelle walked in and opened her mouth. 

Patty tells Matt she loves to see him happy. She can see Michelle as a part of their family. 

When Rachael arrives, Matt tells her she's going to meet Patty, or Mrs. James, whatever she's most comfortable with. Was that a hint of what she needed to do to be liked?

Mom either doesn't have a good first impression for some reason or just wants to drill her harder before they break off for individual conversations. John looks skeptical, however, he does see a connection. 

John takes Rachael off to ask lots of questions. Have you ever been in love? How many serious relationships have you had? What qualities do you see in Matt that you could see in a longtime partner (same phrasing as with Michelle)? 

Matt asks Patty what she thinks so far. Patty likes that Rachael feels free to be herself. 

Patty then talks to Rachael, asking if she can see herself engaged. She finally seems to win Patty over. The family ends up liking her after all. 

I'm going to be trouble because at 8:00, I'm ready to doze off after the whole time change plus not getting my nap yesterday. 

After meeting both women, Matt sits down with John and Patty again to compare notes. Patty thinks both are amazing. Matt says he'll be in prayer the next couple of days because that's the only way he'll get clarity. Patty asks if he'll be able to propose to one of them after one more date with each. 

John phrases each question intentionally like he is trying to remember the line he was scripted to ask. Maybe he is just trying to keep his grill in. Speaking seems to make him uncomfortable in more ways than one. 

Patty asks if saying "I love you" means "We'll see where this goes down the road," or "we're going to get married." Patty says people fall in and out of love. It's not the end all, be all. John says he'll support Matt in whatever he decides to do, but don't jump into a decision where you're not ready. What Patty says takes him back to a dark place. 

Now it's time for the obligatory check-in with Chris Harrison. 

Chris has heard that Matt wants to chat. Matt hasn't introduced his parents to anyone since high school. He admits his mom freaked him out. He's starting to pump the breaks as he thinks more about what a healthy relationship is. 

Chris says this is a lot to unpack and points out this isn't how Matt was talking a week or two ago. He's like, "Your perspective is changed by your mom telling you love ends?" Chris asks him what he's going to do. Chris asks if what he is saying is that he doesn't want to propose at the end of this. 

Finally, Matt says he's moving forward and going to stay open minded. 

Final date time. First up is Michelle. 

He takes her up to the top of the roof. He points out a heart marked out on what kind of looks like a runway, but just must be a road or just a parking lot. In order to get there, they have to repel down the side of the hotel. This isn't the normal kind of building people repel down. It's only about five stories and doesn't have a smooth face. Neither know what they are doing, and it's kind of painful to watch. 

They finally head off to a couch on the windy and cold parking lot. #WorstFinalDateEver

Michelle talks about how sure she is of everything, and Matt doesn't know his butt from third base at this point. 

Later that night, Michelle hosts Matt for more conversation where she keeps telling him that she is what he wants. She gives him a gift -- a jersey because they are a team. She also made herself a jersey with "Mrs. James" on the back. He feels terrible because he's not on the same page. 

He tells her, "It's a lot." Then, there is a long silence. He'd didn't sleep last night knowing what was coming up ahead. He's having doubts and he shouldn't have any doubts. He had been thinking about her and forever, but not anymore. He doesn't want to just tell her what she wants to hear. 

Michelle wants to know what he's thinking and if she's supposed to be fighting for him or not. He says he's not there with her. He leaves her a crying mess in her suite. 

Chris Harrison meets Matt out on the curb. Matt's crying now. Part of him loved her, but he wasn't in love with her. Chris points out what Matt's mom said shook him to the core. 

He's not ready to propose to Rachael either. 

His second guessing everything and being so in his head is making this whole episode miserable.

The next day, Rachael gets ready for her last date. 

She's confident and thinks Matt is her person. There's a knock at the door. It's not Matt though. It's Chris Harrison with news there won't be a date that day. He met with Matt last night, and he's emotional and lost. Matt needs some time. 

Rachael kept a smile on her face while Chris was there, but she feels hurt and confused that Matt doesn't want to see her. She'd never been confused with her before. 

Matt is pacing around wondering if love is enough to sustain a marriage. What does it mean to be a husband? A father? 

Neil Lane shows up at his door anyway. Matt thinks maybe he needs to hold a ring in his hand.

So, Neil gives commitment advice. Neil tells Matt that whatever he feels is the right thing for him. He'll show him rings though. Matt asks if he can touch the ring. Even if he isn't sure he's ready to propose, he is sure about the ring. The ring represents a bunch of broken promises and what his father couldn't give to his mother. 

Uh, I hope not. That's a depressing way to look at it.

The next morning wakes up confused and upset. She's sitting around when there's a knock at the door. A date card slides underneath. The card reads, 

"Rachael - I'm so sorry for making you wait. I've had a lot o my mind these last few days. You deserve answers. Meet me at the lake. - Matt"

It gets me how the writing is such a girl's writing. Never the actual guy's or Chris Harrison's for fantasy suite. Some producer writing apology notes over in the corner. 

Matt arrives dressed up. Chris arrives in a suit. He asks Matt if he is ok. Matt's nervous. He thought these few dates would bring clarity. He's been in his head. The more he says, "I love Rachael," the more confident he is though. Or so he says. He doesn't know what he's going to do or say. 

I can't stand the sound of Rachael's poor, poor, pitiful me voice. Now, she has to give her speech not knowing she's the only one left. She hated how she felt yesterday and him not wanting to see her, but most of all she hated him hurting. This speech is horrible. 

Matt clears his throat in a very loud and odd way. He came on this journey to find love. He says everything he was looing for he found with her. His speech sucks too. He says he can't propose today, but he doesn't want to lose her. He thinks about living his life with her, and wants to leave with her, building on what they have. He loves her. (She says, "I love you too.") He sees her as his future wife and mother to his kids, but he still can't propose. 

He gives her the final rose, even if he doesn't give her the ring. He carries her off, and she says it was worth it. I guess just to get an "I love you." 

What an awkward ending. 

On to "After the Final Rose" with Emmanuel Acho, even though Chris Harrison has been voicing all the teases (even though we knew he wouldn't be hosting tonight).

Emmanuel Acho leads in talking about Rachael's incriminating photos and Chris Harrison's racist defense. This guy is teleprompter reader. 

He starts by bringing Michelle out. It's a snooze. Emmanuel points out that not only did she lose Matt, she had to endure the news coming out about Rachael along the way. It wasn't a natural transition nor is it bringing up Chris Harrison's remarks with Rachel Lindsey. 

After a commercial break, Matt comes on out. Let me just rant a minute about his beard. I think it looks terrible. It's long and bushy and looks unkempt. I'm anti-full beard. It just looks wrong on him. 

So, back to Michelle and her two minutes she has so desperately needed with Matt. She tells him how much she crumbled without closure. She wasn't ok. She asked him for a conversation--not to change his mind or fight for him--but conversations to have inner peace, and he said no. He apologizes for her going through that and not knowing how she felt about it. If he could do it over, he'd have the conversation with her. 

Emmanuel asks if she still loves him, then if there is anything she wants to say since she may never see Matt again. This is Bachelor Nation. There's no way she won't see him again. She ends saying she hopes he starts kissing with his eyes shut and learns something to say other than, "Thanks for sharing."

Before talking to Rachael, the two men talk about Matt being the first black Bachelor and the pressures he felt... internal vs. external. 

They move forward to talking about how things were leaving Pennsylvania with Rachael and how it was originally an extended "honeymoon." This leads into the photos that started coming out and all the things being said about Rachael and things she supported and did. At first Matt hoped they were rumors, then he questioned everything when he found out that they were real. They are no longer together as he realized she may not realize what it's like for him being black in America. It's not that he thinks she is unredeemable, but he stepped back to let her work on herself.

Rachael comes out to the hottest hot seat in Bachelor history. Emmanuel asks how she is holding up which she says is a loaded question. He addresses the "elephant in the room," the antebellum party. After a lengthy discussion, she says she does still love him very much. 

Matt comes back out and Rachael apologizes for all that happened. She realized she must have really hurt him given how he ended things and how much she loved him. Matt can't even voice his thoughts. Very few words were said during a very long segment, and when given the chance for "one final embrace," Matt wouldn't even look Rachael's direction. 

Emmanuel teases that he will reveal the next Bachelorette.

Before it is revealed, Emmanuel brings Michelle back out along with Katie. Both will be Bachelorettes, but in separate seasons. Katie will be going first. That was a weird announcement too. I don't know why they named both. Katie is coming up in the summer, and Michelle in the fall. 

Honestly, I'm over The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. I say it at the end of every season, but I do really think I'm over blogging about it. I feel like I'm too old for it. Leave you thoughts in the comments.