Monday, January 26, 2015

Send them home! Send them home! (to the tune of Let it Go!)


I sure hope this week's episode is more interesting than last week's. Last week almost put me to sleep.

There has got to be more than kissy kissy kissy all night long. Great for Chris. Boring for the rest of us. The previews at least offer hope.

The show starts off with a visit from Chris Harrison. This week, Chris is getting help from his three sisters as to who is going on this week's one-on-one date this week. The first date card, however, is a group date card.

"Megan, Kaitlyn, Ashley S., Ashley I., Juelia, Samantha, Mackenzie, and Kelsey. Let's do what feels natural..."

The suspicion is that they have to go without make-up. However, most get all the more fixed up. Four girls pile in a convertible with Chris while Megan drives the other four around. They are all going to be windblown by the time they arrive to their date at a lake. They have a private beach all to themselves.

Another bikini day. Thank goodness Jillian is back home so we don't have to see all that.

Ashley I decides she needs to break out from her shyness by stripping off her top half while Kaitlyn takes off her bottoms.

Kelsey finds it extremely inappropriate to be doing this on a group date. She comments to the camera that it is a date for bimbos.

Back at the mansion, Jillian is snoring next to the pool with a black box over her butt. Carly rushes to the door when the doorbell rings to welcome Chris' sisters.

The women start talking to them, and Carly decides she should go get Jillian. However, Jillian has a hard time finding something to cover herself since the sisters won't have the black boxes to shield their eyes from all that.

Jillian does, to her credit, realize that she is not making the best first impression.

The sisters take Whitney off to talk to first. They quiz her about whether or not she will stay in Chicago, or be willing to move to Iowa. They also want to know about the time they have already spend together, so they may not be too ready to send her off on a date again.

Britt is up next. She says she feels more comfortable with everything.

They rotate everyone through, but we see a longer conversation with Jade who is originally from Nebraska. She's currently in LA working on her organic make-up line and modeling.

Back on the beach... 

The women and Chris are playing Red Rover. Kelsey is not enjoying herself and disses the lake there vs. the ones in Michigan. Then, she gets stung.

The women show their lack of ability in setting up tents. Camping out would be my nightmare.

Mackenzie and Ashley I. (a self-described camping virgin and a virgin camping) aren't very skilled. I can't stand either Ashley.

And back to grilling the girls...

Carly breaks down with the sisters talking about bad relationship in answer to their relationship questions.

Once the sisters talk to everyone, they all say their goodbyes, and head out. A little while later, the date card arrives.

Jade gets the invite to a royal ball that even the prince doesn't know about. 

I'm glad it is a shy and quiet girl we haven't seen much of yet.

That night at the camping date...

There is of course, a date up for grabs. Kaitlyn, in her self-proclaimed element, thinks she should be a front runner. She likes words. He likes touchy feely, but yet, there's some bonding going on.

All the girls start talking smack about how out of her element and phony Kelsey is while she talks to Chris. Kelsey asks if they are really staying out here all night. She tells him she got stung by a bee, so her day has not been great.

Around the camp fire, Ashley S. starts going nutty again. Mackenzie starts asking about everyone's belief in aliens.

Chris shows up with some kind of knight's helmet or something on. I can't even tell in the dark. It seems pointless.

As each woman gets their time with Chris, the night gets stranger and stranger. Kaitlyn tells a scary story about Ashley S.

Ashley S. and her crazy drunk self has Chris puzzled. Not sure why he is so entertained by her. She starts kissing him, but he doesn't seem into the kissing for once.

All the women start yelling for him to join them, possibly in an attempt to rescue him from the crazy.

Ashley I., who is becoming just as crazy in my opinion, gets her time. Ashley is going to try earn her rose during their make-out session. However, she does not succeed. Kaitlyn, Queen of the Campfire, snags it.

Ashley I. decides to go into Chris' tent to share more about the real her, the her she would never believe. Ashley proclaims her "innocence" to him. Poor Chris, awoken from sleep isn't sure what to think. He thinks he gets her, but I think he isn't catching on.

The next day, the ladies women who didn't go on the camping date fill the ones who did on what went down with the sister and what the date card said. 

Ashley I. is very unhappy because she considers herself to be a Disney princess. And, oh we hear about it at every turn. Her dream date... but someone else gets it.

A very whimsical Fairy Godmother arrives to transform Jade into a princess for her date. The Fairy Godmother helps her try on several fancy ballgowns until she finds her fit. She picks out a pair of very expensive earrings she will get to keep. And, there's also a preview of an upcoming live action Cinderella movie.

All of the other women are in jealous awe of Jade who gets to go on this date.

Coming back from commercial, we see Chris practicing his box step. He still doesn't know who is date will be.

He seems to be nervous, but seems quite pleased that Jade descends down the staircase. He tells Jade that his sisters hit it out of the park.

When they get their chance to talk, they exchange stories of broken engagements. She seems extremely uncomfortable just because she is so shy.

Back at the house, Ashley I. puts on her dress that she brought for a princess date and struts around. Evidently, they all ate corn on the cob that night, because she sits around sulking with her corn on the cob. 

Chris believes he can really relate to Jade and where they come from. Though she is really quiet, she opened up and gets her date rose.

He has one more surprise for her! An orchestra plays so that they can dance. They get a movie preview, of course. As the clock strikes midnight, she must scurry off to her limo. She had an awful lot of stairs to go down in some really high heels.

When morning breaks, we immediately get the next date card. "Nikki, Jillian, Whitney, Carly, Britt, Becca - Let's get dirty. ~ Chris."

Outside, there are six big boxes with their names on them. They lift off the lids to find wedding dresses inside. Once they get dressed, they take a limo to a private jet.

Jillian is as disappointed being in a wedding dress as Kelsey was camping out.

After another limo ride, they arrive at a mud run, I mean Muck Fest MS. Jillian can change her tune now. The winner will win a one-on-one evening with Chris.

The first obstacle involves water, so the women have a hard time with the obstacles given their water soaked dresses. Jillian was given a short dress, so has an easier time breezing right through the course.

Chris helps Becca make her way through to the obstacles. They get some personal time while Jillian is far ahead.

Jillian and Chris head off while the other women have to hose off and take their wet, muddy selves back home.

Chris admits to the camera that physical attractiveness and such, Jillian was in his top 3 from the start. Not sure what he thinks after asking about her 5 year plan. She's as loud and talkative as Jade was quiet. She's really dominating the conversation, and he gets overwhelmed. All the conversation goes over his head and he starts to think about unicorns. What are these people smoking?

They are in a romantic setting, but Chris doesn't find it very romantic. After a very, very odd would you rather question, Chris picks up the rose. He loves her energy, but he is looking for his wife, and doesn't feel like they are really aligned. All of a sudden she breaks into his speech and says, "hold on, I've been nervous. She starts crying about not being able to share her heart."

Will he cave? Chris gives her a hug and walks her to the elevator. YES! She and her black boxes are headed home.

What will the cocktail party hold?

Megan is first up. She pulls a blindfold out of her cleavage. She comes back with some fruit and chocolate. Can you say awkward? She says it will involve three senses... taste, smell, and she doesn't know what the other one is. She hopes he isn't allergic to anything.

Ashley I. realizes that Chris may not have realized what she was hinting at the other night. She decides to be more clear tonight. She asked what it was he gathered from their tent conversation. It puts him on the spot because all he can say is it was intriguing. He guesses that she's supposedly more conservative than she seems. He was not expecting to hear that from her. Chris tells her that he respects that about her. Ashley thinks it freaked him because he didn't kiss her this time. She starts crying and carrying on. MacKenzie can't handle it.

Ashley S. does get her kiss on though.

Ashley I. tells everyone her news. Blows Kaitlyn's mind. Carly says her mouth is not a virgin. Becca also says she is.

I hope it's true. We need better examples on this show. I believe Becca a whole not more than I believe Ashley though.

Britt asks Chris what was really going on with the camping date and why Kaitlyn got a rose after stripping on the date. Britt wants to know where he's coming from. Chris doesn't take it well coming from someone he respected. He stumbles through an answer. Britt says that she really likes him, so she's just trying to understand. He says he is glad to have had the conversation, but walks off.

When Harrison comes in to clank the glass, Chris comes in the room and tells everyone that if they don't think he has the right intentions, they can go home, because he is there to find a wife. It doesn't look good for Britt.

Time for the roses! He thinks things are working, even though emotions have start to really come into play. Kaitlyn and Jade already have theirs. Who is staying and who is going?

  1. Whitney
  2. Carly
  3. Megan
  4. Samantha
  5. Mackenzie
  6. Kelsey
  7. Becca
  8. Ashley I. (SNAP!)
  9. Britt (who has been half convinced she was leaving all night)
Going home:
  1. Ashley S. (Thank goodness!)
  2. Nikki
  3. Juelia 
He felt bad letting Juelia go, but knowing all the feelings weren't there, he wanted to let her go home to her daughter. 

Ashley S. had no feelings when it came to going home. Just a lot of crazy noises.

Thankfully, two out of three that I wanted to go home tonight are going home. It was too much for me to ask to get rid of both Ashleys and Jillian. 

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