How was I supposed to know?

Evidently, this is the week for me to get myself into trouble.

Tonight we got together to eat at Don Jose's (pronounced Hoe-say's) in honor of Peyton's birthday. A girl after my own heart, she loves cheeze in-chill-ah-duhs. (Her pronunciations.)

Peyton's pronunciations really aren't the point though. But, I will get there in a minute.

Julie had a card for Paige to sign for Peyton, so she did so. When Peyton went to open it, she had me, sitting next to her, to read the card for her.

Before I tell you what the card did and DID NOT say, I have to tell you about Paige. Paige has a few tendencies and traits like her daddy. The most obvious one, at least to me, his her spelling abilities. Both Brian and Paige learned to read and spell very differently than I did. Their brains work very differently than mine. They are phonetic to the extreme. Which is not their fault - just the way they were taught.

Mom and I vividly remember always trying to decipher what Brian was writing in notes he left around the house growing up. We could usually figure out what he meant without too much trouble, but Paige, bless her heart, has a bit more trouble with us understanding.

(That's not to say that I don't have spelling problems, but most of the time these days, it's because I am typing too fast and get letters out of order and don't catch it - like on Facebook or IM which has been pointed out a couple of times lately, but I digress.)

Not only is Paige phonetic, but she has her own brand of Hooked on Phonics. It's more like Whoked on Fontics. For example, she spells "Grandma" as "Gramol" or "Granmol" - with an L at the end either way. All that to say, Precious Paigey makes reading interesting part.

So, back to Paige's card. The first sentence is what she wrote, the second part is a general idea.

"Happy Birtday best butte." Something blah, blah in the po po. (Po po is something Madison says, and I don't know exactly what she means by it.) She may have gotten birthday right, but I'm not sure. That wasn't what I stumbled on.

Butte - now the dictionary definition of that word would be a hill or a mountain. However, I don't think she thinks her sister is her best rise in the landscape.

I assume this is beauty or booty and give both options, but after I pass the po po part. I say, "Paige, that's kind of mean."

At this point, Peyton decides Paige is mean and gets mad at her. Peyton shuts down and gets upset.

YES, this really is all my fault, and I have to convince Peyton of this because I TOTALLY missed what Paige meant.

It wasn't booty. It wasn't beauty. It wasn't butt. Are you ready? Drumroll...


Had I really thought it out, I would have remembered that one of Peyton's things is "love you best buddy."

However, I didn't think of this. The whole table was dying laughing when we passed around the card and explained. Well, except Brian because he understood what Paige wrote evidently. I totally admit it's all my fault and had to keep telling Peyton that Paige wasn't being mean, that it was all on me because I couldn't read. I had to apologize to Paige because Peyton was mad at her for no reason. Dad, Julie and I were laughing so hard, I couldn't feel bad about it.

I have promised that I will never read anything Paige writes again, and wouldn't read Peyton's next card to her. Julie had to do that.

Between my parents and I, we'll be calling each other butt-tees for weeks.

So, blog buttes, I'll share a feeyou pitchures from Peyton's 5th birtday at Don Hoe-say's witch you. I coodn't find a zeebruh strip shirt to match mine like she wanted, so I had to bye a orange strip one.