My sports commentary for the night

Some things are dumb beyond words. Most of them I have seen or heard about on TV. I really need to turn of the TV, but I have a thing about the noise. Tonight's topic will be sportscasts.

My dad was watching ESPN earlier, and they were showing Ochocinco. I look from at it from the side of the TV and try to say something else until Dad explains the guy changed is name to that because his number is 85. Legally changes his name to match his number. Now he is eight five. Not even 85 in actual Spanish. The announcers were saying his name over and over again and the stupidity of changing your name was too much for me. I had to leave the room. Then a few hours later, I turn on my computer, and home my page is a story about 85. I refuse to type or say his stupid name again.

I'm not sure why that got to me like it did, I just found it stupid.

Speaking of stupidity and sportscasters, I think one of the reasons I don't watch the Rangers like I used to is the stupidity of Josh Lewin and his effect on Tom Grieve. Tom used to be OK, but his bad partners have rubbed off. So help me, if Pudge had not come back to the team this week, I think they would have been resorting to figuring out Omar Vizquel's age in seconds. They love to obsess on his age - and now Pudge's as well. They couldn't actually report the game for how much they were saying Pudge's name every sentence.

Pudge was 19 when he came to the Rangers... Pudge had 2 hits his last game for the Rangers in September 2002... Pudge is glad to be back to finish out his career... Rusty Greer emailed the booth and he loves Pudge...

I haven't talked to five year-old Peyton since Pudge's addition. Peyton is a die hard Jarred Saltalamacchia fan. Partly because she played catcher last summer in t-ball and she identified. Anyway, she LOVES her SALTY. Last Friday night, she was watching the game with Dad, Paige and Madison, and comes to the kitchen where Mom and I were. She was pouting for more than one reason, but says, "Salty's not playing cuz Teagarden's batting."

And she said Teagarden with some disdain. Ironically, I have said in the past, I think I'd have to change my name if I was a baseball player and my name was Teagarden. However, I do not advocate him changing his name to Dos.

Now, with the excitement of Pudge back, I don't know if the poor girl will be able to handle it.

OK, now stay with me as I go through this discussion right here, because there is a punchline to this joke, as stupid as it may be. Officially, Saltalamacchia may have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, where a ribcage bone and muscle presses on a nerve. Evidently, every Texas Ranger with a sore arm is afflicted with this. It's not always caused by an extra rib in your neck, but sometimes it is and it requires surgery to remove this said extra rib.

This is of interest to me because I had never heard of such until 10 years ago when I was in a car wreck and x-rays showed that I had this extra rib in my neck. All my knowledge since has come from a medical symptoms book my mom had and a couple of online sites. Wikipedia notes that several baseball players have had this problem with TOS, and ironically 5 out of 6 played for the Texas Rangers. (I think that was pointed out as, "I think their team doctor is nuts" without saying it.) Yet, only 1 out of 500 people have an extra rib.

The way I have it figured, I missed my real calling in life - being a player for the Texas Rangers.

Yes, I do realize that I just had a jump the shark moment and my witty, insightful and amusing blog has died. I don't know what is wrong with me. Actually, I kind of do, and it has nothing to do with my funny bone or not-so-funny-sometimes-painful-extra-rib. I need to get out more.

Good news though, I am heading to Waxahachie to meet my friend Leslie tomorrow. I'll probably end up shopping on a weekend I normally hate shopping on - Texas Tax Free Weekend. As money conscious as I may be, I don't get the obsession of saving 8%. It's not worth facing all the crowds for 8%.

I plan on having a caramel frappachino tomorrow - maybe that will get my creative juices flowing. Or at least I hope so!


Pam said…
I was thinking you had missed your calling in life.
Don't change your name to a incorrect spanish number though.