Monday, March 2, 2015

It really was the most interesting #WomenTellAll in #TheBachelor history


Here we are... almost at the end of the season of The Bachelor. However, before we get to find out who Chris picked, and if the people on Google+ are right, we have the "Women Tell All" episode. My question is, "do they tell us anything we don't already know?" Even Chris admits that there isn't a lot to tell every season.

Tonight, I am sure the women are really going to rip into Chris. They are a bit of a catty bunch.

Before we get started though, we have to watch clips of Harrison and Prince Farming crashing watching parties. Unless they are crashing at my house, I could not care less about this.

All of the personalities, and oh there were many, are on the show tonight. Even some of the women we forgot about. Except Kelsie won't sit with the rest of the women.

We start off with a showcase of clips, including Jillian's black box butt, crazy Ashley S. showing her insanity, the claims of Ash Kardash non-virgin lips, Keslie and her big words, Britt and her overdone eyebrows, Carly's hand puppets, all the best moments.

Britt gets very emotional watching the clips, and is soon as it is over, she jumps on Carly's case about faking that she was a friend. Carly tries to calmly defend herself after being accused of talking smack about Britt every time the camera was on her.

Instead of keeping her in middle of the crowd, Harrison pulls Britt up to the hot seat. She doesn't think her relationship went bad with Chris until Carly talked to him. Jade admits she too had said something. Jillian jumps on Britt for what she said to Chris in a limo ride.

Evidently Ash Kardash with lashes had said something to Chris that wasn't true about Britt wanting to have children. Evidently, the woman is a self-proclaimed saint, babysitter, nanny, orphanage builder, soccer coach and regular Mother Teresa.

Ash Kardash clarifies that all she did was repeat that Britt said she didn't want kids right now. Carly says she doesn't wish Britt any ill will, and really liked her, but wanted Chris to know what she really did say. Carly pointed out how Britt would always say one thing, then change her mind and say another. Carly liked her until she had a reason not to trust her.

Harrison asks Britt about Arlington and their trip there. Yes, she wondered if they were in the town before the town. However, she would be living in his home in the beautiful countryside with HIM. She believes she could still be with Chris if it weren't for Carly.

Thankfully, Harrison has had enough and we get another commercial and can move on. However, during commercial break, she continues to cry to Harrison.

Next up is Kelsie, who couldn't even sit with the others. We get the highlight reel of her viciousness and holier than attitude mixed with panic attack. She has the most bitter expression on her face watching how everything went down. Now she starts crying as she watches how all the other women celebrated when she went home. "I am feeling betrayed. Like I am grieving all over again."

The women want to jump on her case quickly. However, Harrison extends his handkerchief, and she asks, "are you sure? It's silk." Kelsie thinks the women may not like her for her big words. She wants to assure everyone that the panic attack was authentic as hatred was amassing and coming to a climax. When Harrison asks if she thinks she's better than the others, she does assert that she is different, but how do you measure humanity? No one can speak until she advocates for herself and we have another commercial break.

It's about to get ugly as the women have their chance to rip in. Juelia (who also had a tragic husband death) calls her the fakest person she ever met. Megan's dad dropped dead (her words) too while running, and says her mother was greatly offended.

Kelsie defends her timing in telling Chris when she did (to get the rose) because she felt like she had not been telling him something all the time leading up to that. Samantha blames her exit on Kelsie's dramatic episode passed out on the floor. Ash Kardash said if she was a heap on the floor, the last thing she would have wanted was the guy she liked seeing her like that.

Ash Kardash looks like she's doing "Walk like an Egyptian," when asked if she felt sorry for the "I'm here and she's there" comment. Jillian, of all people, starts defending Kelsie against accusations by Ash Kardash of faking part of the husband dramatics.

Kelsie ends her time in the hot seat defending her comments about her amazing (yet tragic) story.

Next up is crazy Ashley... aka is it an onion or a pomegranate girl. This is the much needed comedy relief the crying, emotional women needed. They all laugh at the clips of what everyone said. Even Carly and Britt can agree on the insanity. It's something Kelsie and Ash Kardash can see eye to eyelash on.

Ashley gives Chris an onion as a present. She really couldn't believe there was fruit growing on the tree. And she has no idea what Mesa Verde was, but she's obsessed about it. Harrison questions her about visiting the accounting department and how she thought they were all taking bets on the women. Oh, and about her talking to cats.

Harrison begs Ashley S. to join them on Bachelor in Paradise. He enjoys her so much. She's so unpredictable. She doesn't seem to know what he's talking about.

Next up is Jade and the discussion of her X-rated secret. Oh, but the two seemed to have a connection. His sisters' choice for a one-on-one date, it really opened his eyes to her. We see Jade recapping how they came from similar backgrounds, but then she told him about her modeling for Playboy. She emotionally watches along, trying not to cry at her own departure.

Jade wants to ask Chris if he was authentic in saying that her modeling had nothing to do with his choice. She was crushed when Chris blogged that how he saw her one way and her family described her as something much different.

Kaitlyn is up next. Harrison talks about how fun-loving she is, yet how they can't retell most of her jokes. She actually does not look miserable as she watches her highlight reel, at least at first. That is until she has to relive the scene of getting sent home. She turns all serious while talking about the last week. Kaitlyn was surprised she was sent home because she thought Chris wouldn't have put her through a rose ceremony. Her guarded heart still hurts. She was crushed and still misses him.

With 20 minutes left in the show... and you know the last 10 are going to highlight the two women left and next week's finale... Chris comes out.

Harrison knows the women have a lot to ask/say, and he goes to Britt first who asks if she can come up there. While Britt gives Chris an awkwardly long hug, Carly rolls her eyes. Britt starts right off saying that she doesn't blame him for believing Carly and what she said.

Chris tells Britt his decision was not based on what Carly did/didn't say, but what he felt at the time. She has to back peddle to say that she didn't think he was so small minded to think he would only go by what someone else said.

Next, Harrison hands the floor to Kaitlyn. "You saw the shock on the face. You saw the raw emotion of being blindsided." After letting her guard down, she felt like she didn't get a real explanation. She wants a genuine answer of what happened. Chris says there wasn't a true explanation, but it was the toughest week of his life since he was falling in love with three women. She wants to know why she didn't get the courtesy of a private conversation vs. a rose ceremony like Becca got or Andi did for him. He admits to still not having a real answer for her.

Jade's turn to talk. She too asks if she can come up to talk to him instead of at him. She confronts him asking to be sure it wasn't her photos that sent her home. Jade asks Chris what he meant by saying that the person he knew (shy) and the person her family described (wild mustang) were two different people. Chris assures Jade that what she showed him online was not what the reason why she went home. Jade says she thought they made a mutual decision to look at the pictures, but on the show said it was awkward. She said if it were awkward they shouldn't have done it.

He explains why it was awkward -- and she probably felt award too.

Enough of the seriousness and on to bloopers. Farting and belching to come, I am sure. Animals and bugs gone wild. Yep. All of that.

Before signing off for the night, Chris Harrison introduces his new book, The Perfect Letter, coming out May 19. Available for pre-order. His publisher should ask me to review it. ;)

Until next week's final decision between Whitney or Becca... Signing off...


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