Do other women see you as a safe haven?

Author encourages readers to seek out
authentic relationships with women of all ages

With 232 million people using Twitter every month and more than 1.3 billion people on Facebook last year, it’s safe to say we live in an incredibly “connected” world. Yet with hundreds of friends and loved ones just a click away on social media or a text away on the phone, why do so many women feel isolated and alone? With ladies longing for meaningful connections to help them grow in their faith and find emotional wholeness, now is the perfect time for Pamela Havey Lau’s new book, A Friend in Me: How to be a Safe Haven for Other Women (David C Cook/June 1, 2015/ ISBN: 978-1434708649/ $15.99).

Women today also crave relational connection with women who are further ahead of them on their journey. So many want mentors, guides and role models to whom they can bring their accomplishments and failures to feel affirmed, mutually respected and understood.

In A Friend in Me, Lau shows women how to be a safe place for those who are in earlier stages of life than they are, teaching them habits for strengthening bonds such as offering comfort, acting with understanding and relating with compassion. She also offers five patterns women need to practice for initiating relationships and talking through tough issues such as faith, forgiveness, sexuality and vocation. “The way the older generation talks about these topics can send the message, ‘I don’t agree with the way you’re living your life,’” Lau admits. “On the other hand, the way younger women support themselves financially and build relationships may send the message, ‘I am fine, and I don’t need your support.’”

Lau’s passion to help women of all ages find kinship comes from a personal place; after her young brother-in-law and his fiancĂ©e were killed in a head-on collision, she quickly realized how much she needed to hear how other women journeyed through their own grief. Lau believes these connections are a key ingredient in spiritual growth and encourages readers that a large age gap isn’t needed for mentorship; a mom of teens can offer valuable advice to a mother of toddlers, just as a newlywed can share tips with a newly engaged friend.

Through Lau’s own personal heartbreaks and deep theological studies, A Friend in Me examines the incredible impact women can have on their world when they unite and pattern their lives after Jesus. “I’m praying for a movement around the globe for women to find satisfaction, healing and safety in closer relationships with the women God has placed in their lives,” Lau reveals. 

A Friend in Me ultimately succeeds in reminding readers that age differences do not have to create a divide between women and that together they can experience a deeper faith than they ever thought possible.

Advance Praise

A Friend in Me is a must-read for any woman seeking to build meaningful relationships with the next generation of women. Transparent, yet practical, Pam Lau’s message is filled with stories of hope and grace. . . . We urge you to read this book as you consider how you will pass along your faith in today’s rapidly changing world.”
~ Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

“If you long to make a lasting difference in the lives of women in the next generation, read A Friend in Me. With raw honesty, poignant illustrations and courageous action steps — all woven within biblical truth — Pamela Havey Lau has written a book that challenges women to be intentional about investing their time, influence, knowledge and friendship in women. Don’t miss this extraordinary book!”
~ Carol Kent, speaker and author of Becoming a Woman of Influence

“Friendship with other women has been a powerful source of grace and sustenance in my life. With this book that is both practical and discipling, I hope friendship — with other women and with God — becomes this for you too.”
~ Katelyn Beaty, managing editor of Christianity Today magazine

About the author

Pamela Havey Lau is the author of A Friend in Me, Soul Strength and numerous articles for such publications as Christian Scholar’s Review and Christianity Today. A graduate of Liberty University and Colorado State University, she has taught writing at George Fox University and speaks around the country at conferences and retreats.

After her three daughters were born, Lau began teaching writing at private day schools until 2010 when she started her own business, Real Life Real Image, where she writes, edits and speaks. Lau is married to Dr. Brad Lau, a college administrator. The two make their home near Portland, Oregon, with their three daughters.

Keep up with Pamela Havey Lau at, on Facebook (pamela.h.lau) or by following her on Twitter (@pamelahaveylau).