I just want to get this blog on #thebachelorette posted

It's actually Tuesday night, and I'm just getting this Monday blog post typed. Actually, that's not unusual. I back date posts way too much. #lazyblogger

Peyton had a softball game last night, and I wasn't home to work on my post. Even tonight I'm getting started on it about two hours after I intended to. Sigh. I finally sit down to start watching and realize it didn't even record on my DVR last night. Thank goodness I was able to pull it up off of a playback option because I thought I was going to have to watch it online. However, it may be just as bad because it appears to be buffering. I am not going to be able to fast forward through commercials though. 

As I wait for the buffering that may mean the season is over by the time this episode plays, let me back up a little bit though. Last Tuesday morning, my co-worker, Caitlin, gave me the awesome news that I would have someone else to talk about The Bachelorette with. While she had not been watching the show for the past 8 years (or something like that), her fiance loves it and she was watching along with him. 

If you don't think the guys were bad enough from what you saw as they came out of the limos last week, you need to read this post about the biggest red flags from the contestant bios. Oh. My. Word. People are messed up!

So, go ahead. Read that, then come back here for my recap. Alright, I'm back to having to watch online because it didn't start at the beginning of the episode. GRRR. Ain't nobody got time for this. 

I don't want to go in uber detail this season. I want blogging to not be a chore. 

First date card supposedly comes the first morning after the rose ceremony. Chris Harrison asks the guys what they thought of Rachel last night, and drops off the date card.

"Dean, Jack, Jonathan, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Brett, Lucas... I'm looking for husband material."

They pop the bubbly to celebrate the card. Seems a bit early... Anyway, the guys head off to a BBQ where Rachel has been cooking up burgers, hot dogs and shrimp. Already, that is too detailed.

The date activity is football. Lucas, aka "Whaaboom," is drawing attention to himself. Iggy questions his motives. Blake knows the real Lucas and plans to reveal the truth.

Next part of the date involves Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis judging the guys on their "husband material."

There are six obstacles - a baby changing station (Iggy lost out), a baby sling (don't know who lost out), vacuuming, unclogging a drain, washing dishes looking for a giant ring, and setting a table for dinner. The last two men were Kenny and Whaboom. Whaboom grabs the bouquet of flowers and crosses the line first. He should get negative points for spiking the doll when he won. Whaboom tries to get Ashton to Whaboom, but he is baffled and refuses. 

The guys continue their group date at a bar. Rachel takes Whaboom off first since he won the challenge. She wants to talk to him and calls him out on pushing Kenny on the challenge. They chat. He reads her a poem he wrote. He tries too hard to make it rhyme. 

Blake tells the guys that he's known Whaboom for a few years now and this is all a gimmick to get on TV. 

Onto Fred convince Rachel he's no longer the corny kid at summer camp. She emphasizes how BAD he was back in the day. 

Some guy whose name I don't recall talks about there's such thing as wiping a baby butt too much.

Rachel is unimpressed as am I. She is not getting much from the conversations. No romance. 

Then Blake gets his turn to talk. He is roommates with Whaboom's ex-girlfriend and tells Rachel that Boom is here for the wrong reasons. He then turns around and tells Boom and the other guys, "you came up in conversation." I'm bored with the discussion that ensues. Then, it gets stupid. 

Dean turns things around for Rachel. He makes her laugh and has a personality. She tells him again she liked his comment, "I'm going black, and I'm not going back." She wished she used the line first. He kind of regrets not going in for a kiss, but wants to be respectful.

Kenny gets tired of the "two white dudes" going in circles, and gets up to leave. He gets his time with Rachel and talks about his daughter MacKenzie Rachel. It seems like they have a good conversation. He also skips the kiss to focus on talking. 

When it comes time to hand out the date rose, she gives it to Dean. He walks her out to the car and gets his kiss then. 

The next date card arrives back at the mansion during the group date. "Peter, I am looking for my best friend."

The morning of their date, they drive out to the airport, and she tells him they are going to Palm Springs. Rachel tells Peter they are going to be joined on their date by someone else. Her dog, Copper, arrives in his own car. He and Peter make fast friends. (The poor dog has a front leg in a cast so he hops around funny.) 

When they arrive in Palm Springs, they go to Barkfest. I'd hate this whole date. 

While this date is putting me to sleep, another date card arrives. 

"Will, Jamey, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, Josiah, DeMario - Swish."

If I got all the names down, that leaves four men without a date this week.

Back to Peter. The meal where no one eats. She thinks she sees potential, but doesn't know how he feels. Isn't it all a little early? She asks Peter what his family thinks about all of this. His dad started watching once he got cast and became a Rachel fan. The two compare their front teeth gaps. It runs in his dad's family. Rachel and her nephew are the only ones in her family with it though. 

Then comes the requisite boring conversation about past relationships. He had seen a therapist... She says this all is scaring her because she too saw a therapist after her long relationship went bad. Now that they have bonded over tooth gaps and therapy, he gets the date rose. She claims to be a smitten kitten over Peter. Her words, not mine. They kiss, then there are literal fireworks as opposed to a private concert. 

The next is the group basketball date. I think the guys are more excited about Kareem Abdul Jabar being there as the guest than anything. ;)

Kareem gives a speech about character and says this is the way to see if the guys get along with others. What's odd is Kareem and Rachel talking about the positive attributes of some of the men. 

That was just practice though. They are going to have to play tonight in front of an audience. Chris Harrison even comes to watch. I couldn't tell you who is on what team. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open as I sit here. 

Rachel meets people after the game, including DeMario's ex. He was one of the men from "Women Tell All" or "After the Final Rose," whenever it was. That's when his girlfriend saw him. They had dated for seven months, but had not talked in three days when she saw him on TV.

Rachel goes and gets DeMario out of locker room. When he first comes out, he tries to act like he doesn't know who she is. They were on again off again and lots of he said/she said. Rachel tries to find out what's really going on. Rachel tries to lawyer interview him. She's not buying what he has to say since he's not really answering anything anyway. She sends him home on the spot. 

Rachel is mad. She takes a minute in the women's restroom to cool off, then addresses the 9 men telling them she sent DeMario home. She tells the men if any of them have a girlfriend, they need to leave. With that she says she'll see the rest later. 

My laptop battery is going to run out before I finish this. It's draining too much juice. If I didn't have to play so many commercials, I MIGHT make it to the end with a little power and without falling to sleep. I'm not going to go upstairs to get my power cord, that is for sure.  

Party that night. Drinking. Boring conversations. "I'm interested in you and here for the right reasons." Josiah makes a connection... and a makeout session. Rachel thinks she's having awesome conversations with this group of guys. Alex sings (not well) in Russian to her. 

After some other conversations, Josiah gets the rose. 

So, recapping so far. Twenty-three men to start the episode. Dean, Peter and Josiah get roses on their dates. DeMario gone.

Four men didn't have a date: Bryan (he got the first impression rose last week), Bryce, Brady, and Anthony. (Evidently the BR names were sorry out of luck.)

At the cocktail party, Rachel makes it clear that dishonesty was why she sent DeMario home. The race to get time with her is on.

At this point I had to shut off my computer before it shut itself down... 

Rachel talks with Bryan and explains that she didn't get a date the first week either after the first impression rose. He gives her a massage and adjustment to help her relax after the DeMario thing. 

Speaking of DeMario, he comes up outside wanting to talk to Rachel while she is talking with various men (including one that shows her a Barbie dream house, Iggy thumb wrestles with her...). Security sends Chris Harrison out to talk to him. Chris says he's leaving it 100% up to Rachel if he wants to talk to her. Chris interrupts her conversation with Fred and all the guys are thinking it's too soon for him to be here. 

Chris asks how she's doing. She answers, "a lot better than the last time you saw me." She is curious about what he could possibly say, and with the assurance security is outside, she agrees to speak to him. 

Some of the guys overheard the conversation between Rachel and Chris, so they spread the word and go out front to confront DeMario as well.

Then, the episode ends with no rose ceremony. See, I was so close to the end last night. So close. 

I still believe every episode should end with a rose ceremony. It's a waste otherwise.