Travel don'ts

Here are a few tips of what not to do while traveling, from personal experience on my latest business trip to Nashville.

Don't twist and sprain your ankle 36 hours before you are set to fly out on a business trip. This is especially true if you are traveling alone and aren't getting dropped off at the curb.

Don't get caught behind a wreck on your way to the airport and sit on the highway for 45 minutes in one place.

Don't arrive at the airport only 30 minutes before you are set to take off (see above). Thankfully my suitcase with the big late tag on it did arrive on time. However, by the time I got to the gate, they were in the process of giving away my ticket. I arrived just in time for that not to happen.

Don't freak out when they pull your laptop out on the security line (see above.) Ain't nobody got time for that. For some reason, this was the day they decided to test my computer for explosives, and when I didn't see it with the rest of my stuff when it came out of the detectors, and I stepped out of the x-ray scanner, I thought I was going to lose it.

Don't reserve your rental car through and their services. The rental car company will not be able to find your reservation.

Don't drive unfamiliar highways in a rental car that's low to the ground with grooves and potholes during a thunderstorm at night. It will only add to your anxiety condition.

Don't stay in a hotel without an ice machine. This means you will have to go to the closest Walgreens to buy a bag of ice and plastic bags to ice your ankle (see above).

Don't expect to get your real work done while you are gone. It just won't happen, and you'll wheel your laptop bag around for no reason other than propping up your bad leg(s) (see above).

Don't catch the first flight back home because getting up at 5 AM to avoid travel headaches such as the one above is really early even though you do get home early.

Don't try to roll two suitcases onto escalators when you are worried about twisting your already injured ankle. You will have to beg strangers at the top of the escalator to push your suitcase onto the escalator because you can't get your act together.

Don't take your credit card out of the reader when you pay for parking like you would at any other pay station. It won't read it and you have to call for help like an idiot.