Monday, January 13, 2014

I'm totally disgusted by The Bachelor tonight


Is there seriously going to be a "Behind the Scenes" or other special episode the Sunday night before every Monday episode of The Bachelor? They repeat so many scenes as it is, why do we have to watch these special episodes too? OVERKILL. There's something to be said for The Biggest Loser going to one hour this season. It cuts the filler.

Here's what I got out of last night.
  1. All the same stuff they already showed about Clare and losing her Dad to a brain tumor.
  2. Victoria thinks she's all that and is in love with herself.
  3. I'm even more convinced the free spirit aka Lucy needs to go because she's going to need more censor boxes than Richard Hatch on Survivor. I don't care if she's an "all natural" girl, we don't all have to see that.
  4. Amy the newscaster talks about herself in the third person too much in doing a news story about how she doesn't find love. Kicked off this week perhaps?
  5. The women kicked off the first week are way too emotional as they start packing. 
  6. The big date is in fake snow because he took Camilla out to the snow first.
Evidently, you have to watch the special episode because it teases the big episode. You had to watch last night to see the first date card arrive. They didn't show that before Clare and Juan Pablo's date tonight.

"This could be my first date with my future husband." Gag. Juan Pablo blindfolds her before they zoom off. He evidently smells like heaven in a bottle. He remembers her being funny, happy, easy going so he can't wait for this whole winter wonderland in middle of LA date.

The girls point out that Clare was the first one to get the rose in the ceremony. Did anyone notice? And while she is talking to the other girls, Lucy aka free spirit aka NEEDS TO GO NOW doesn't make friends with her lack of outfit. Why? Like that is going to make her any easier to live with?

Another date card: Kat gets a one-on-one date too. Do they usually do two one-on-ones the first week? I guess so.

Back to Clare... Now Juan Pablo is taking off his shirt to get into the hot tub and Clare is trying to control herself. Does every girl have to get veneers on her teeth before getting on the show? Everyone looks like they have false teeth. They talk about her being a daddy's girl and blah, blah, blah something. She's all excited to get the rose and make out in the hot tub and get to spend more time with him. She can already be falling for this guy. Love story. Blah, blah, blah.

CUE the first private concert of the season. Seriously? How awkward. Who is Josh whatever his last name is? You know they had to tell Clare who that was so she could tell the audience who was singing. Oh, now it's the perfect moment because it's snowing. And she knows her dad is watching right now over them. If so, he's shameful of your first date behavior and gagging at you dancing in the snow in a wet swimsuit.

Now, we're on to his date with Kat. They get to head off in a private jet with no clue where she is going. They change into neon sweatsuits before landing in Salt Lake City. I really don't know why they are at a neon dance club in Salt Lake City. The Electric Run... what?

"There is electricity in the air!" Bad pun given their setting and their light up sweats. She gets her rose. That's really all there is to that date.

DATE CARD TIME... for the group date:

Chelsie, Christy, Kelly, Cassandra, Andi, Renee, Lauren, Alli, Chantel, Nikki, Elise, Victoria, Lucy

Only three women don't get a date. Sharleen, (the non-enthusiastic recipient of the first impression rose), Danielle (one of the two African American women), and Amy (the newscaster who talks in the third person about how she doesn't find love).

The women are anxious for their group date. The date card said, "say cheese." Kelly says that she thinks that means a photo shoot. Either that or they are going to eat cheese, and she's good at both, so either one works for her. I hope she left her dog back at the house.

Lucy flashes the camera. Completely tasteless all the way around. COMPLETELY.

The time has come for all 13 to vie for attention. It is a photo shoot for a good cause. Everyone is paired up with a model. A dog. Kelly could have brought her dog. The dogs are pooping and peeing everywhere. Like everywhere and they show it. Gross.

All their wardrobe and make-up is matched up to their dog. Insanity and stupidity ensues. Afro wigs. Kelly painted in all brown make-up and spots.

Elise is told to wear a sign and that's it. She is not happy. Same for Andi. Completely and totally unfair to the women. Wrong. Tacky. Awful. Disrespectful. Out of line. A trashy show by nature gets trashier.

A first grade teacher and assistant district attorney both have to worry about their reputation and talking to the art director gets them no where. Supposedly, it's for a good cause. Dogs are not a good cause. Not in this case. I'd imagine both could lose their jobs. Elise trades the fire hydrant with Lucy so that she can not get stuck. Then Lucy goes and walks her dog in public where she can get caught for indecent exposure. Juan Pablo convinces Andi that they'll be fine doing the shoot together.

Not the guy for you if he talks you into doing something you don't want and shouldn't do. RUN! LEAVE THE SHOW! I'm so disappointed that she caved. And I should turn off the TV here.

UGH. The whole first hour was all about black boxes. Completely unnecessary and uncalled for on prime time TV.

Cassandra takes Juan Pablo aside to tell him that she has a son. The big secret reveal. She first tells him that she calls her mom 10 times a day, then says it's because she is checking on her almost 2 year old son. (She was 19 when she had him.)

Next, Juan Pablo and Renee go up to the roof and talk about her son and how they are keeping journals for one another.

Some of the women advise Victoria that she needs to lay off the drinks because she has a bit much to drink. She says she's sober. If she is, I'd hate to see her drunk. She talks about giving a procedure to Juan Pablo, but with the complete wrong name (not going there) and calls him her boyfriend. #hotmess

Now a little time with Nurse Nikki. Except a nice conversation is interrupted by a very drunk Victoria. She's wondering around here and there and every where. Renee goes to check on Victoria in the restroom, but has to crawl under the door to talk to her. Victoria is very upset by not getting any one on one time and is in the floor of the stall until she decides she is going home. She's done. Done. The producer guy or whoever he is cannot convince her that he needs to get her a cab and a flight for her safety.

This is what happens when you give people alcohol, especially an endless supply.

Lucy goes to Juan Pablo and asks him if he wants to address the situation. He goes into the second bathroom stall she has locked herself in. She does not want to talk to him.

Now that the buzz has been killed, Juan Pablo speaks to the group. He gives Kelly the rose for being the best sport of the day. I disagree with that assessment regardless of how dumb her costume was.

Juan Pablo asks all the girls to make sure that Victoria gets home safe so that he can talk to her tomorrow. Chelsie was very impressed by his handling of the situation. Of course, his gentlemanly behavior endears them all to him, including Chantel who thinks he is amazing.

The next morning, the girls talk about Victoria. The producers took her off to a hotel for her own good, and Juan Pablo goes to visit.

She may have overreacted a little, she admits. When she's mad, she's really mad and when she's happy, she's really happy. Being around the other girls upset her. RUN JUAN PABLO... RUN!!! No guy (or anyone else) wants to associate with that drama.

The best statement made by the women, "this is a guy with a child." Exactly. Who wants that around their child?

Thank goodness Juan Pablo has the good sense to let her go NOW, before the rose ceremony. He doesn't think it is right to be with someone who can't handle herself. The wisest thing he has said thus far.

And we jump to the pre-rose ceremony party. Cassandra wants to talk to Juan Pablo after what happened last night because it makes her nervous. Why? I don't really know what anything that happened has to do with her.

Juan Pablo wants to spend time with the girls to get to know them. He calls on Amy first (since they didn't have a date). She's so cheesy with her practice interviewing him.

Now Sharleen. She realizes how rude she seemed the first night when she got the first impression rose. She is nervous with good reason. They haven't talked since she got the rose that night. I'm not sure she made the situation any better. She does look like she's wearing a piece of fabric she had to just make sure covered her. Ugly dress.

Cut back to anxious Cassandra. Missing her little boy is emotionally getting to her. Mama Renee is tending to her now too. They go upstairs to talk. Juan Pablo comes up to find "the two moms" and have a heart to heart with Cassandra because he wants her there. Drama, drama, drama.

Clare, Kat and Kelly have roses. Victoria has already gone home. There are 12 more get roses and 2 go home.

He says it's been a very good week. Wow. He's a half glass full kind of guy if he thinks it has been a good week.
  1. Cassandra (crying beforehand is evidently key)
  2. Nikki
  3. Andi
  4. Elise
  5. Sharleen (who has been standing there looking horrified)
  6. Renee
  7. Danielle (who has straightened out her frizzy hair and I didn't recognize her)
  8. Lucy (ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! We have to deal with her at least another week.)
  9. Allison (she's been Alli up until now)
  10. Chelsie
  11. Lauren
  12. Christy
That means Chantel and Amy are going home. The whole newscast segment from last night tipped me off on that happening. She doesn't understand it. No one ever does at this point, do they? Chantel was shocked - aren't they always? 

Cut to previews of next week. But first... a preview of Sunday... Bachelor couples that made it. 

And on Monday night... more private concerts and lots of jealous women. 

The closing credits show with Kelly and her dog Molly wearing costumes. Stupid. Just stupid.

I'm trying to remember why I watch this nonsense. However, I'm sure I'll be right back here on the blog next week. Sigh. What a train wreck. 

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