I cannot handle The Bachelor wedding episodes which shouldn't come as a surprise

When I got home from tonight, I was debating whether or not to go ahead and start The Bachelor special tonight with Sean and Catherine's wedding. After all, Sister Wives was about to come on.

I started the DVR that had already started recording the big event before I got home and when I heard Chris Harrison say, "the most romantic TV event of the year," I decided I had to stop it because I didn't have the laptop in front of me yet.

That's a big proclamation given the month of January is NOT over yet.

Within minutes, I had a message on Facebook saying, "Surely you are going to blog about 'the grown sexy' wedding!"

So, here we go.

I'm starting this late, so it will post right after midnight and Monday's show will post at 12:01 Tuesday morning since I have two posts going up this week and my weekly Sunday video post has gone up today.

From http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/photos/season-17-proposal/media/season-finale-21.
Right off the bat, I too, like Sean want to know what "grown sexy" is. I am pretty sure that not grown sexy should be illegal and untelevised.

Chris Harrison gets tongue-tied in his live introduction. Before they can take a walk down the aisle, we have to see their FAIRY TALE JOURNEY. Why must every reality show contestant describe their experience as a journey? It's such an overused word. It was driving me nuts the other night on The Biggest Loser.

Now, a journey is a road trip between Los Angeles and Dallas. I have taken the Las Vegas to Dallas portion of the route they are taking. It was a trip. (And it is annoying to see the "red carpet" in the bottom right had corner of the screen as guests arrive.) They have so much fun together and she is so easy going. And they eat rattlesnake. He seemed bored to be stuck in the car while she rambles on about wedding plans though.

Grown sexy and whimsical. HUH? Yes, Sean, I still agree... vague words.

Congratulations on living separately until you are married. I really and truly commend you on that choice. I do believe that is a good example to viewers.

What is up with the live shot of the honeymoon suite cam? Nobody needs to see that. NOBODY. And nothing is going on there anyway. That's beyond dumb.

I'm zoning on their sappy talk.

Whoopie do! The cameras are there as Sean and Catherine tell his family that they have decided on a wedding date. I have a feeling they could have easily made this two hour show an hour or less. Meanwhile, all these celebrities are showing up at the wedding. I would venture to say that the happy couple knows about 20% of the people in attendance personally.

To steal someone else's post on Twitter, did you notice that Sean's dad's name is Jay Lowe? (J-Lo... Jenny from the block...) It's sweet that they asked his dad to officiate the ceremony, but he is going to be a weepy mess.

Maybe we now get to figure out what Catherine's theme is all about. She has recently been dreaming about her wedding, but not forever like most girls, so as to not disappoint herself. Since their time together up until now has been fun, and they are like kids, and since they are waiting until their wedding night, she wants her ceremony to be "grown sexy" as her coming out party. Now she wants to be grown up and sexy in all of the details. As she tells Sean, "think Robin Thicke."

It sounds like it's going to be tacky to me.

They really could have milked more attention out of all this if they'd taped a joint episode of Say Yes to the Dress (or any other of the plethora of wedding dress shopping shows) when she went shopping for dresses.

We get that you are excited for your honeymoon. You should be. Absolutely. But, we do not need to know all about all of that. It's personal. Keep it personal. We don't need the mental pictures, especially given Sean's shopping venture. There's no need for me to recap that part or her descriptions upon receiving his gift.

I don't know why they go decorate a cake then make a mess throwing decorations everywhere. Childish. Not "grown" anything. Her repeating "grown sexy" ranks with the repetition of "guard and protect your heart" from seasons ago. #annoyingBachelorphrases

Nice touch of showing Sean's groomsmen and family praying over him live, by the way!

After picking out flowers, Catherine gets ready for a very special photo session. All of what Catherine says seems immature trashy throughout the entire show, including discussing a butterfly analogy.

We just don't need all of this. #trashy #skanky #stopturningrespectfuldistasteful

We know what comes afterwards. Again, that is personal. If they weren't waiting, we wouldn't hear all this. All the references are awful. Leave them alone about it already. 

On another note, I've never been crazy about Catherine. She annoys me.

And the ceremony begins with cellos. Lots of bridesmaids. I think she said there were 12.

Lots of guests with cell phones for Instagram and Twitter, live throughout the ceremony. Meanwhile in the bridal suite, she's still getting her make-up done. Only 6 or so bridesmaids have made it down thus far, so I guess she has time. 

I don't like her hair, by the way (too much Asian princess). Or the cellos. Maybe if I recognized their selection of music, it would be different. Cute ring bearers, but I don't know why one looks like he is wearing a lei around his neck.

Are we going to take a commercial break now that it is time for the bride to walk the aisle? YES, of course, we are!

A much snazzier musical selection for her walk down the aisle. Not traditional at all. She is breathing loudly with some crazy sighs coming down while Sean is already crying. 

He's about to be a snotty hot mess.

I like his dad's summary of the love story - much shorter than Chris Harrison's. He is proud of his son. Very touching. He describes her as giggly, but he and Sean's mother are so in love with her. His dad really does a good job. A great job.

A moment to "pray" before the vows is a thinly disguised break for a commercial. Seriously. Because everyone should have a break for corporate sponsorship.

They should have been holding hands all this time. They are awkwardly holding their hands in front of them until time to do their vows. Now, she is reaching to hold hands. I think they can each come a step closer.

WHAT ARE LOVE SPRINKLES? Something she talks about in her vows. After Sean says his, his father expresses his approval of the vows. 

They cry together walking up the aisle. Or at least he does. 

One more break before guest reaction. 

Ashley and J.P. were a lot less stressed to watch it rather than participate. Trista and Ryan look old after 10 years of marriage. She's always look a bit older than most participants.

And with that, the wedding episode is over. Now on to the rest of our lives. 

OH, but a preview of tomorrow night complete with Sharleen's operatic whatever she is doing. She's just very wrong. More on that tomorrow!


Anonymous said…
I would have loved watching this with you! You are SOOOOO on the money with your observations!

Grown sexy???? HUH?????

Lingerie references = yuk. Shot of honeymoon suite= double yuk.

Lots of shots of Sean's mother, but not much of Catherine's--did we even see her walk down the aisle? And was that Catherine's dad sitting next to her?
Would loved to have heard from C's sisters--the ones who told Sean how moody she was.

I liked Catherine in the Bachelor, but never thought he seemed that interested in her, right up to the end. Now they both ALWAYS knew they loved each other, practically from the time they first met. I call revisionist history.

Those inserts of guests should have been larger--heck--get rid of whatever recaps Chris Harrison was saying, and just show the people arriving--they were LIVE!

I think Catherine does her own hair and makeup much better and more beautifully than the professionals.
Audra Jennings said…
I did see her mother walk her down the aisle, but I'm not sure if it was her dad with her because I don't recall any talk about her dad.

She was rather under the radar the whole time.

Seeing the guests arrive would have been more interesting than the "grown sexy" talk, but the insert was annoying.