Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The claws start coming out on #TheBachelor!

I don't know about you guys, but I am ready for Grey's Anatomy and Scandal to come back on. I need some enjoyable TV. Four. More. Weeks.

Maybe I can blog on curling when the Olympics come on. I know nothing about curling, but what is there to know?

So... The Bachelor... More dramatic than Russian ice dancing...

Saturday night, one of my friends brought up the question as to whether or not any of us had made New Year's resolutions. (Seems like an odd conversation starter among us, but I digress.) I said my resolution was to get retweeted by +The Bachelor. That hasn't happened yet, but I have been added back on Google +.

Most of my Google + feed is auto posts, and even the +The Bachelor page has info about Ben under the page description instead of Juan Pablo proving that no one cares about Google +. By the way, person in charge of the Google + account, you might want to update that if you happen to be checking in here.

Photo from http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/photos/1808-seoul-south-korea/media/1808-seoul-south-korea-013

Alright, now onto the show. When Chris Harrison comes in to announce that there will be two group dates and a single one-on-one date, he tells them it is time to get their bags and passport packed. Why are they going to Seoul, South Korea? Of all the places... It doesn't sound tropical and romantic like Fiji or the Bahamas or Paris, but what do I know?

My bet is that 3/4 of these girls don't know where on the planet South Korea is. And why did Sharleen scream so loudly to find out they were going to the home of Gangnam style?

Clare says that her future husband is waiting across the world from her in South Korea. Does she too have a crush on Psy?

I guess the girls are just excited to be going some where, but their excitement about Korea is a bit much.

Juan Pablo likes the international trip. All of a sudden he knows all about the history, and I am sure he is going to tell us.

Lots of people and lights.

Nikki thinks if she gets the one-on-one is going to be the game changer. But, it's time for a group date first. Chelsie, Cassandra, Elise, Danielle, Kat and Nikki. OHHHHH SNAP! She's going to come unglued. All the girls are excited (at least on the outside) except her. She thinks all the other girls are annoying. The card says "POP" and her head is going to explode.

So, they are going to do something K-pop related. "K-Pop is Korean Pop," Juan Pablo explains. According to the expert Bachelor who is fed all sorts of facts before every date, it's taking over America. Really? Other than "Gangnam Style," name one. If we were on The Family Feud, we'd all fail.

In other news, the only real characteristic we know that Juan Pablo is looking for in a woman other than someone who can be a step-mother to Ca-me-la is that she must dance.

Nikki doesn't know how to share, so this group date really bothers her. No one normal shares a guy they are dating, so don't act like that is unique to you in the scheme of the entire world. Besides, all the other girls are facing the same thing right now.

So they go to the home of K-Pop and meet 21. Nikki is all of a sudden an expert talking about how huge they are. "Their YouTube video has 77 million. Million. That's a lot of views." She must be really good with numbers.

Kat is in her element evidently. She's a dancer (or medical sales rep) who has been dancing since before she could walk. I am pretty sure that isn't possible. 

Nikki is complaining again about what a bad date this is since she can't dance. She does the sprinkler. Chelsie's childhood dream is to be a background dancer for a pop group. Cassandra is the former NBA dancer, so you'd think she might have some ability to dance. Notice, I didn't say talent.

Nikki is whining about Kat thinking she is so good. Kat caught onto the choreography right away so she is showing off my teaching the other girls. 21 invites them to perform with them at their show that night. It's going to be a hot mess. It's Nikki's worse nightmare and hopes they are performing for the South Korean School for the Blind. She'll be pouting all day. She didn't realize they were so popular when their show is packed. However, in the previous clip she was going on about how huge they were and how many YouTube views that they had. I chalk that up to a bad editing job. Bad editing or Nikki doesn't understand the association between 77 million YouTube views and the definition of popularity.

They all dress up in ridiculous clothes and bring looking stupid on TV to another level. 

Chelsie asserts that Kat is trying to be a show-off with her own dance moves. Nikki throws in her two cents worth of trash talking.

Now at the mini cocktail party for the date (at a furniture museum which is evidently irrelevant), the race is on for private time.

While she had fun dancing, Kat does want Juan Pablo to know that she has a serious side too. While they are talking, Nikki is with the others trash talking about people who might be there more for something fun than something real. Nikki calls Kat fake. I can't say what I think about Nikki in a family friendly way.

Meanwhile, Kat is telling about her father being an alcoholic and her parents divorcing when she was 5. Her dad had 7 DUIs. Because those specific details are so necessary...

The rest of the girls think Nikki is the most negative, catty person in the house. That may be true.

Speaking of fake, Nikki tries to be sweet and talks about how hard it is to open up. Juan Pablo asks what she thinks about Camila. Nikki wants to meet her. She is so different than she was with the girls. She's more two-faced than the others. She thinks she's going to get the date rose again.

Back at the Hilton, Sharleen gets a date card, "are you my Seoul mate?" She knows she is interested, but isn't declaring the connection the other girls do. Clare doesn't think they are right for each other, and that may be the only thing I agree with Clare and her false teeth on.

Back at the date... It's time for the date rose, and everyone thinks they deserve the rose. Nikki gets the rose again. I'm as annoyed as all the other girls. She says she has been herself, my question is... which self?

Juan Pablo admits that he's been interested in Sharleen from day one and that she is his favorite right now. If he only knew how not into him she was. Sharleen tries to be witty, but I don't find her funny. She also does not enjoy the local delicacies. I can't say that I would either. She does find the tea house quaint and perfect.

He asks her about becoming an opera singer and cannot wait to hear her sing. She groans about singing for him, and tells him that he's a bit cheeky with a smart @$$ side.  Uh. That's different. (But, she means that in a good way because it means he isn't bland - then she gives him English lessons to explain what that means.) What girl in a serious tone gets away with that? And if she loves singing, and the guy in front of her is flirting and wants her to sing, why is she not singing?

Sharleen does admit that Juan Pablo is more interesting than she expected. Then she calls him a brat when he tells her to sing. She would never sing to a man that early in a dating relationship. Just sing.

Oh how I wish she didn't sing that little bit she did. He's all the more smitten, and they start sucking face. Now, all of a sudden she sees potential and calls it a perfect date. Judging as an outsider, I thought it was awful.

He thinks they have so much in common, but she doesn't realize it. Things were supposedly going well, and then he asks how many kids she wants. She quickly turns it on him asking how many more he wants. "Two more." She says in a diplomatic fashion, "that's fair," until he says, "maybe three." That may send her over the edge.

(Break to the Hilton where the girls are talking about Juan Pablo looking for a woman who can be motherly. They don't think Sharleen can handle spit-up.)

Sharleen is trying very hard to avoid the subject when again, he asks her point blank, "how many kids?"

Her answer is she hasn't really thought about it because she has been career focused. When she dated a dad before, she was not ready to have kids at the time. This gives him pause since the other guy had a four year daughter. For a brief second, you thought she wasn't going to get the rose because of her honesty. But, he gives it to her anyway.

HOW CAN HE BE SO BLIND?

So, the rest of the girls head out on their group date. It's Karaoke time. Andi wants to avoid anything singing or dancing related. Sounds like another Nikki in the making. Singing in Korean is a challenge, therefore, we quickly move on.

They set about doing tourist things. This is the first thing for Clare and, of course, she laments about how long it has been since her first date.

They go into a place where you stick your feet into water with little fish who eat your dead skin off - it's a form of pedicure. Evidently they really love Renee's feet. Andi notices Clare is territorial and uneasy when anyone else gets attention.

When it comes time to try food, Clare says, "please tell me we aren't going to eat octopus." Now, Juan Pablo is all about feeding her octopus. She's freaking out and won't eat it. Alli points out you can get octopus in any Italian restaurant in Chicago. Kelly calls her the most dramatic person she has ever seen. It's all about getting attention. I'm not into weird stuff, but I would do octopus. I like calamari even though the ones with tentacles sort of creep me out if I think about it.

At their cocktail party, who is going to get a kiss?

Juan Pablo pulls off Renee first. She'd like to get her first kiss from Juan Pablo. She seems like a real class act. She's still my first choice. They talk about what their kids would think about them kissing. Since he has already kissed six girls (his count, not mine, I've not been keeping track), he's all of a sudden worried about being a good example and is going to try not to kiss anyone tonight. 

Clare doesn't want to see him kiss Kelly and says so to all the others. Like she owns him since she had first date and kiss.

Next up is Andi. He thinks she's one of the few people who gets his sense of humor. He thinks she is just perfect, and he wants to kiss her, but he promised himself there wouldn't be any of that tonight.

The girls meanwhile count up the six. Then, Lauren goes off with him saying, "dance with me and begs for a kiss." He stands his ground. To me Lauren has been flying under the radar. Now she doesn't think he's interested since she has been denied a kiss. We go into a commercial with her ugly crying during an interview.

Back from commercial break, we find out that she is crying with him and calling him out on the kissing other girls thing. He admits he feels horrible. Andi goes off to talk to her. I'm surprised it wasn't Mama Renee. If they had gone into a bathroom, it would have been Renee.

Clare isn't going to try to kiss him. She is going to kiss him, she asserts. Once she heads off, Andi and Kelly then make fun of Clare and the octopus.

Clare starts bragging to Juan Pablo about eating it, then says she threw up in her mouth and swallowed it. She really shouldn't have brought it up. That's just gross. For some reason she had told him before that she wanted to lay off the kissing since they knew the attraction was there, so that way they could get to know each other. Now, she decides she didn't tell him "no kissing" for how long. She is doing this now given that all the other girls were talking about how he wouldn't kiss her. He starts feeding her (like always), then they start kissing (because she has sexy teeth and lips -- I call fake on both). She asks him if she had chocolate breath.

Andi is offered the rose. Take that Clare!

Finally, it is time for all the girls to arrive at a Korean palace for the cocktail party before the rose ceremony. He has noticed some drama between the girls, so he thinks it may be an interesting night.

He pulls Kelly aside first, but we don't see their conversation.

Sharleen says there is an agreement that girls with roses won't hog his time, but let's see how long that lasts.

Clare gets her fake time. Nikki decides to disrespect their "rule" and says she has to be selfish sometimes. She lurks in the shadows while Clare talks about her dad. Clare thought it was rude since she had a rose, but Clare says she's kind even though she doesn't let people walk all over her.

According to Nikki, science proves that when a guy likes a girl, he looks her in the eye while when a girl likes a guy she looks away.

Even Sharleen wonders if Juan Pablo sees the real Nikki.

Juan Pablo hints about problems among the girls. Nikki thinks that since he was with Clare before her that he thinks it's Clare. Kelly is now sitting between Nikki and Clare. She tells those two she is uncomfortable between the two of them. Clare calls Nikki out on being two-faced. Nikki thinks Clare is threatened by her. Here's the beginning of a rest of the season cat fight.

When Chris Harrison comes, Juan Pablo admits to the interview camera that this time it is hard being out of the country and any woman going home has a 12 hour plane ride feeling rejected.

The time has come... Nikki, Sharleen and Andi have roses. Eight more to be given. Two will go home.

  1. Renee assepts the first rose (yes, it's spelled like he says it)
  2. Chelsie
  3. Kelly (what happened to her dog when they left for the trip?)
  4. Danielle
  5. Cassandra
  6. Allison (what do we know about her?)
  7. Clare (Nikki is ticked)
  8. Kat

Bye bye Lauren (who looked like death warmed over) and Elise (the little girl Chelsie lasted longer than you!). Elise does throw in one last barb towards women not ready to have children and that her momma didn't want her to be around such ugly people - on the inside, not out. I wonder if Lauren's piano was already flown back home (I'm actually sure she didn't bring her own that first night).

Next week they are going some place warmer and exotic. Next week they go to Vietnam. I am sure it is politically incorrect of me to ask, but are Iraq and Afghanistan next? Is it an effort to show that countries once plagued by war are tourist attractions now. 

Missed my other posts from this season? Check them out here:

Sean and Catherine's wedding

Week 3

Week 2

Week 1

5 comments:

Andie said...

Oh my gosh! Nikki is a baby! Apparently she didn't watch any of the other seasons to see the silly dates. Grow up!

Audra Jennings said...

They all are except for Renee.

Anonymous said...

I had the same reaction with all the excitement and screams for Korea, Viet Nam: Whaaaaa???

Loved your comment about
continuing to visit war zones!

Audra Jennings said...

Maybe they felt that they had to be excited. I would have been like, "really?"

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