Monday, January 4, 2016

As expected, all the women on #thebachelor are some kind of crazy


The break that I have enjoyed the past couple of weeks from not crafting is similar to the break that I enjoy between seasons of The Bachelor. However, I do need a distraction and blog followers, so here we go again!

This year, the man of the hour is Ben Higgins, 26, from small town Indiana. Warsaw is still home to him even though he doesn't live there today. I don't know where he lives now, to be honest. Oh, in Denver. He's kind of obsessed about basketball as I guess a lot of people in Indiana are. He doesn't look much different from when he played football in high school.

Although he's dated some great women, they haven't felt the same for him as he felt for them. He's looking for true love, love like his parents, because you know this show is all about real love. Oh, whoops, stop the cynicism, Audra. Sorry. Poor Ben is worried that he is unlovable. Really? I get why I think that, but him? Guess it's just a universal feeling.

Before he meets the women, he needs some advice. Sean Lowe, Chris Soules and Jason Mesnick show up to give him advice. Two out of three are married, so he's hoping... Farmer Soules gives the bad advice of kissing everyone. Sean says he didn't have feelings for Catherine until half way through, so give them all a chance.

We finally get a peek at some of the desperate women. I'll include more about them in the intros of everyone as they come out of the limos.*

And here they are...

Lauren B.* is 25 and a flight attendant from Portland who was meant to be from southern California, or so she says. She now lives in Marina Del Rey. A dumb blonde as best I can tell. She brought him a set of wings to keep on him at all times. She hopes they are ready to take off on this journey together.

Cailia* is 24 and a software rep from Boston. She thought she met her last boyfriend by fate, but it was not meant to be. She knew it was over after her heart fluttered for Ben when she saw him step out of the limo last season. Uh... By the way, her name is pronounced Kayla, so I'm sure I am going to spell it wrong all season. When she arrives, she jumps up into his arms. He says this is the best first impression ever.

Jennifer is a 25 year-old small business owner from Ft. Lauderdale. She makes a Ben and Jen comment so that he will remember her.

Jami is 23, a bartender from St. Albert, Alberta, Canada. As a woman of color diversity, I wonder if we will get to know her. (Sad, but true.) Since all Canadians know each other, she knows Caitlin who told her that he had a big heart.

Samantha* is a 26-year-old recent law school graduate from New Symrna Beach, FL. Her dad had ALS, and he died when she was 13. She says she's had a great week because she found out on her way out here that she passed the bar. Her question for him is, "boxers or legal briefs?" Legal briefs.

Jubilee* is 24 and a military veteran living in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She hasn't dated since she left the military because people don't know how to take women who served. However, when she watched Ben, she thought he could handle her. She shows up in a super low cut dress, and he comments that he loves the dress as soon as she gets out of the car. She can't remember the pick-up lines she rehearsed. The one she tried was TERRIBLE.

Amanda* is a 25 year-old mom to two girls from Orange County. Her voice sounds like it too. She works at a spa doing facials, and no I cannot spell the official word for that. She doesn't say much as she meets him.

Lace is 25 and an real estate agent from Denver. She plants the first kiss on him to get the honor. He is impressed with her dress too. She is full of herself, and the girls think she's fake. Lace doesn't think anyone is competition.

Lauren R is 26, a math teacher from Houston. She's been stalking him on social media. He seems a little freaked by her. He asks for her name 3 times, and she didn't answer him any of those times. Just like she was ignoring him.

Shushanna is a 27 year-old mathematician from Salt Lake City. He says she looks like a rose, and she speaks to him in another language. He understands her though, at least he acts like he does. I'm confused.

Leah, 25, event player from Denver, who rips up her dress, and hikes a football through her legs. Awkward.

Joelle aka JoJo, 24, real estate developer from Dallas, emerges from the limo with a unicorn mask on. Wierdo.

Lauren H, 25, kindergarten teacher from Ann Arbor, MI, tosses him the bouquet that she caught last weekend at a wedding.

Laura, 24, some kind of account executive from Louisville, KY. Her friends call her Red Velvet. because she has red hair.

Mandi* is 28 and a dentist from Portland, OR who believes in keeping Portland weird. If you can't brush and floss properly, think of what else you can't do properly. She gets out of the car with the biggest red flower you ever saw on her head. She wants him to pollinate her flower. He uses the word "interesting" as does some of the women. They think she's nuts.

Haley and Emily* are 22 year-old twins from Las Vegas. Oh my. Do they count as one girl? They should. They talk in unison. He asks for a group hug. Emily reminds me more of Taylor Swift than Haley. The women are unimpressed.

Maegan, 30, cowgirl from Weatherford, TX arrives with Huey, the miniature horse. She gives Texans a crazy name in that we all have a horse. I don't have a horse.

Breanne, 30, nutritional therapist from Seattle, WA comes bearing a basket of gluten-free breads. Gluten is Satan. He wants to break bread instead of ice with him. She whacks her hard gluten bread against the sidewalk. Another weirdo.

Isabel aka Izzy, 24, graphic designer from Branford, CT. She is wearing onesie pajamas because she wants to find out if he is the onesie for her. Where do they finds these people?

Rachel, 23 and unemployed from Little Rock, AR, arrives on a hover board. She's on cloud 9, want to join her?

Jessica, 23, accountant from Boca Raton, FL. She's young, but is relatively normal.

Tiara* is 27 and a chicken enthusiast from Redmond, WA. She sleeps with Sheila the chicken. She's not looking forward to leaving her chickens. Coo-coo. Coo-coo. At least she didn't bring a chicken with her. She seems sane when the birds aren't around.

Lauren aka LB, the 23 year-old fashion buyer from Stillwater, OK, is greeted by Ben with "Welcome Home." Guess he likes the first sight of her. Not sure why.

Jackie is 23, a gerontologist from San Francisco, CA. He gives her a save the date card for March 14. That's a Monday. I'm not sure if that's the final rose show date or what.

Olivia, 23, news anchor, Austin, TX. Asks immediately for a hug. He's big on calming the girls down with deep breaths. The compare dimples.

Chris Harrison now tells him that since he has met these 26 women, he can go inside. Before Ben goes inside, he has to call his parents though. He has to give them a quick update.

He gets inside and is trying to give everyone his welcome speech when Mandi interrupts with her big rose and takes him out for a dental exam. She deems him kissable.

We see Olivia next. She walked away from her job to meet him. She's a 23 year-old news anchor. I'm pretty sure she wasn't the face of the station in Austin. She loved connecting with the community and high school girls - because she practical was one.

Caila compare software sales person notes.

The twins think that dating twins is everyone's fantasy.

JoJo uses hand drawn note cards on her forehead to make him guess facts about her.

It's one quick take with woman after woman. Chris Harrison is outside and greets two more women getting out of the limo. Becca and Amber from Farmer Chris' season. I don't like it when they bring women back because it always brings a boatload of drama. All the women will hate them and the show will revolve around them.

The women don't like it from the first second they walk in. Becca goes out and finds Ben. He is pleasantly surprised.

Lace gets super drunk and starts spying on Ben and Becca. She finally thinks she has competition.

Ben is surprised that Amber is there too. He doesn't seem as happy about Amber being there though.

Back to Lace. She interrupts Jubilee's time with Ben. Jubilee could beat Lace up. Lace gets kind of touchy and asks for another kiss. He's a little hesitant. He wanted to get to know everyone before getting into kissing. Mandi the psycho dentists breaks up the awkward moment. This upsets Lace greatly. The next thing you know, Mandi is putting the giant rose on Huey's head. Mandi must be drunk too.

Ben does come back in to find Lace. All the women watch as they walk out. He wants to communicate clearly with her. "You are absolutely gorgeous, but I want to get to know you..." He felt bad how they got interrupted before he could explain it well, and didn't want her to feel rejected.

Chris Harrison drops off the first impression rose which throw all the women into a tizzy.

More revolving door conversations. Finally, it's time for the first impression rose. He comes in to pick it up, and walks out of the room full of women, past more in the hall, and then to Olivia who is gathered with a few more women in another room. Their conversation stuck with him. She's given up a lot to be there, you know...

When Harrison comes to collect Ben for the rose ceremony, drunk Lace is slurry about him not looking at her in the eye once. Does he have to make eye contact with everyone each time he walks in the room?

Rose ceremony time!

  1. Olivia has her rose.
  2. Lauren B. (not to be confused with LB)
  3. LB 
  4. Caila
  5. Amber (this makes Jubilee twitch)
  6. Jami (who looks a little like Amber)
  7. Jennifer
  8. Jubilee (maybe she's stop making faces like she has the past 3 girls)
  9. Amanda
  10. JoJo
  11. Leah
  12. Rachel
  13. Samantha (she's a little clingy/whiny already)
  14. Jackie
  15. Haley
  16. Emily (cuz the twinsies have to be called back to back)
  17. Shushanna
  18. Lauren H.
  19. Becca
  20. Mandi (WHAT?!?!)
  21. THE FINAL ROSE... 8 women still on the line. Lace. 
That leaves Breanne (and her bread), Izzy (keep warm in your onesie), Jessica (bor-ing), Laura (aka Red Velvet who thinks he just doesn't like red heads), Lauren R. (a little less Lauren confusion and stalking doesn't pay off), Maegan (and Huey, I hope), and Tiara (she can get back to her chickens). 

Lace decides after the rejects leave that she needs to talk to Ben. She feels the need to tell him she was freaked out that she almost didn't get a rose. She goes into the fact she didn't think he looked her in the eye during the rose ceremony. "I'm wondering if I did the right thing." Ben's like, "look, I asked you to stay. You got a rose. These other women didn't.


So, the preview for the rest of the season involves lots of confessions of "I could see him as my husband," lots and lots of tears, twin drama, and hatred for Lace and Olivia.

Bachelor Live... the unnecessary hour that I guess I'll blog about this season. Or not. I don't know. The two guest commentators (Diablo and Lauren) think he should have been kissing everyone (disagree).

Top picks for the final four include...

Diablo:   Ciala, Amanda, Jubilee, Lauren B.

Lauren:   Olivia, Becca, Jami, Haley

Only 15 minutes into Bachelor Live, I think I'm going to go ahead and publish this and update later if see fit. I feel my life slipping away.

Ok, one thing to come back and update. Bachelor Live showed clips of Maegan. It's obvious why she got sent home. She was salty. Whiskey and cussing. Not a good impression.

If given a second first impression rose, it would have gone to Jennifer because of the conversation they had on the driveway. We didn't see those clips either, I don't think.

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