Monday, January 18, 2016

My toes are uglier than Olivia's toes #thebachelor

Right off the bat, there are women sitting around talking about how they dislike Olivia, how they can't find anything nice about her, how she spent $40,000 on clothes.

Olivia just wants to hold his hand. And kiss him. She wants a whole day with him.

After one week, things are already super intense. Chris Harrison informs them there will be one group date and two one-on-ones this week.

The first card reads... "Lauren B., the sky's the limit."

Lauren B. goes off to doll herself up for the day, except the skanky cut-off shorts. She's been a standout to Ben since she got out of the limo, though she's still a bit of a mystery.

As they drive towards wherever they are going on their date,Lauren asks if they are going to an airport. Though she's a flight attendant, she's never seen a plane like this bi-plane. She's terrified. I think the terrified thing is all for show because he's there to make her feel better.

It isn't long and she's so content. Smoochy smoochy fly over the mansion to make everyone jealous. They land in middle of nowhere, literally, and there is a Jacuzzi. He tells her to go behind a tree and change into her swimsuit. It's not even dark where they can see the stars. A desert with a hot tub, where all there is to do is make out. She tells him they can go flying when she gets her pilot's license.


Back at the mansion, Caila talks to one of the others about how she's just realizing their are other women there and that Ben's having a wonderful date with another woman. "This is a different kind of dating situation." She's in tears. Like serious tears. She's just now realizing?

Later that evening, Lauren notices the moon as they walk into the old house/restaurant for dinner. Would have been nicer in the hot tub...

Somehow, Lauren takes the question Ben asks (I guess it was about what she enjoyed or something), and she talks about her dad mowing the grass. Some absolute random story about mowing the yard and being a perfectionist.

Ben asks Lauren why she hasn't been scooped up. She's picky.

The next date card arrives at the mansion.

"Amanda, Haley, Jennifer, Shushanna, Leah, Amber, Lauren H., Olivia, Jami, Rachel, Lace and Emily. Love is the goal."

Becca, JoJo, and Jubliee are in the running for the one-on-one since Caila has already gone on one.

Ben tells Lauren H. that his dad has had heart problems recently, so he's realized how precious his parents relationship is. He wants the same thing. She embarrasses herself by saying something about wanting to meet his family. He didn't take it as over eager until she tries to explain herself.

Lauren gets the date rose before he takes her into their own private concert with some random group I have never heard of singing the perfect song that makes him think about how he could feel about her. Twitter tells me the name of the group was Lucy Angel. They aren't even a Twitter verified account, they are so no name.

She, of course, is falling in love with Ben.

NEXT DAY!

They arrive for a soccer date. For a minute, I wonder if they are bringing Juan Pablo back. Instead, it's a couple of women from the national team that took part in the World Cup. Rachel, who is unemployed seems to have watch the World Cup in her down time because she knows exactly who they are.

Olivia claims soccer is the one sport she knows nothing about and is cared to death of getting hurt.

Meanwhile, Jubliee and JoJo are sniffling over what they will do if they don't get a date this week. Jubilee doesn't think she's the good girl/always happy girl that Ben gravitates towards. 

Chris Harrison shows up at the stadium to divide the girls into two teams. The winning team gets to finish the date with Ben. The losers go home to cry like babies.

Stars vs. Stripes. Lace is a goalie, and didn't realize you could pick up the ball. Sigh. Emily is a much better goalie for the stars. Ben is impressed.

The game ends in a 3-3 tie, so overtime it is. Rachel hurts herself which gets her some attention. Olivia takes the opportunity to play rough, at least in her mind.

Ultimately, the Stripes win it. That means Leah, Amber, Olivia, Lace, Jami and Haley (the other twin).

At the house, the women are surprised that half the women are back. True to form, lots of smeared mascara over losing the game. 

Amber is looking forward to having some time this week, but before she gets her chance, Olivia makes sure to be the first girl to drag him off. She doesn't want to sit on some couch sipping her water. Sure. Water. They go upstairs to a room, and they wave from a balcony ticking everyone off.

Ben asks Olivia how she is holding up. She says that the other women evidently find her intimidating. Downstairs the women are talking about her ugly toes and her breath. When she comes back down, Jami tells Olivia what they said. Olivia does realize she has ugly toes, but was more worried about people talking about her cankles.

It's time for the next date card to arrive back at the house. Jubilee is very nervous/anxious. Like about to be sick. 

"Jubilee {rest of date card can't be read for screaming and excited bleeps} love is in the air."

Amber keeps talking about how she wants time, but isn't making her move. Leah gets her time. Lace, who talks like she has a sore throat, mumbles out her time. Finally, Amber makes her move and tells him "how much I have grown in the past year" since she has been here last.

The conversations are pretty bland. Somehow Amber pulls off the date rose. This is her first date rose ever - the first time she has been safe going into a rose ceremony.

Olivia is disappointed, but understands why she can't get another rose yet. She takes it as a sign that when he gets up, he pushes off of her leg. "He only does that for me."

The next day, everyone is waiting for Ben to come get Jubilee. She tells everyone he is late. She even says it when he walks in the door. A helicopter arrives. She is afraid of heights, so asks everyone if anyone wants to go on her date. She climbs aboard anyway, but now all the girls hate her for uttering the question. 

Of course, the fear is soon gone as Ben puts his hand on Jubliee's leg. Yes, another hand on a leg. They land at a health spa. There's food spread out for them. She watches how he eats some of the food, so she can follow suit. She spits out the caviar. Her go to food is hot dogs. Impressive, except Ben isn't impressed.

While playing shuffleboard, she makes some "white boy" reference. She brings it up in the hot tub, and how she didn't know how he would react, she puts him on the spot with an awkward moment.

Ben says that Jubilee stretches him. Makes him blush. Jubilee intrigues him. I don't see this working out.

At dinner, Ben tells Jubliee that she is more open with him than any other woman has been. They talk about her fear of going back to Haiti. She had a bad past and can't go back on her own. Her whole family died except for her, evidently. I think they cut out some important info somewhere along the way. I'm kind of lost.

The first time she seems real (likeable in my opinion) is when she talks about having survivor's guilt. He comforts her and tells her how strong of a woman he already knows she is before giving her the date rose.

He can see himself falling in love with Jubilee? WHAT?

Ok, I get she's been through trauma and finally just showed her true self, but her persona is such a turn off.

The next morning, the women are kind of shocked to see that Jubilee survived her date after how she acted when Ben showed up. Given how she has pulled away and become less social with the rest of the women, they wonder how that would work in the real world for Ben.

There's a strange vibe going on as the women await Ben showing up for the cocktail party. When Ben arrives, he tells them he found out that two relatives who died in a plane crash, so he's very somber.

Olivia breaks up the serious moment. She takes him out to talk to him, starting off about every woman having parts of their bodies they aren't comfortable with. He wanted to be comforted, and she tearfully starts in about her cankles again. Evidently people blog about those instead of her ugly toes. Ben is unimpressed.

Amanda is a little better about comforting him.

Jubliee looks like a sour puss, and the rest of the women ask what she's thinking. She leaves the living room, walks into the kitchen, and someone walks out to get their lip gloss (seriously) so they don't have to be around her.

Jubilee gets her time with him, and gives him a massage on a table she has set up out back. The other women are beyond angry since she already has her rose.

Jami isn't going to take anymore of this. She's the one that decides she's going to break up the party. Ben said getting a massage is like his favorite thing in the world.

Amber needs to quit sulking. She has a rose. However, she goes out to find Jubilee wrapped up in a blanket on the patio sleeping. She wants to school her on why there is tension. Since Jubilee won't come in with her, Amber gathers a posse to go out to her. Jubilee gets into a huff and marches upstairs.

Someone - I can't tell who - goes up to check on her, and Jubliee has no part of it. Ben goes to check on the drama.

Lace is mad she got her time taken away.

Amber is still mad and wants to have her say. In front of Ben, Amber tells Jubilee they need to talk. Amber wants to tell Jubilee why there is tension. It started with people taking her comment about "does anyone else want my date?" wrong. Jubliee says it was a joke.

Ben tells Amber she likes that Jubilee doesn't walk on eggshells and can joke.

The Twittersphere is all about poor Jubilee, Team Jubilee. I don't feel sorry for her.

Ben is over the drama and sits on the couch in middle of everyone with a sigh. No sooner does he sit down than Lace takes him out for a talk. Caila thinks "Lace is at the end of her dynamite stick."

Lace breaks down on some spiel about not loving herself and maybe she needs to go home because he doesn't have a connection with her and she just needs to work on herself. Quit before you get kicked off. He hugs her, and off she goes. Ben tells the women he had not made a connection with her. He just hadn't figured out how to get to know her.

ROSE CEREMONY!!!

With Lace gone, we're down to 16. Lauren B., Amber and Jubilee have roses.


  1. Lauren H.
  2. Amanda
  3. Becca
  4. Haley (should have known with the to camera during rose ceremony fretting)
  5. Emily (pick one twin, pick both)
  6. Rachel
  7. Caila
  8. JoJo
  9. Jennifer
  10. Leah
  11. Olivia (she's been letting herself believe he's saving the best for last - not so sure about that)
That sends Jami and Shushanna (in her one piece jumpsuit) home. 

Jami feels smacked across the face blindsided about the whole thing. She's taking it way too personally. "Don't ever expect anything from humans. I'm going to start adopting cats now." 

Oh, c'mon. You're still young, Jami. 

As the episode ends, the last words come from Olivia. "As he gave me the last rose and gave me a hug, he squeezed my waist. It was my way of knowing I'm special. It was his way of saying he can't give me everything all the time. It's all the little communications he gives me all the time. He's my man. I'm so confident in what we have."

From the previews, it's an all-Olivia week in Vegas next week.

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