Monday, February 1, 2016

I have an idea for a new twist for #thebachelor

Here's what I hope. I hope Olivia and Jubilee go HOME tonight. Sometimes The Bachelor really should have a Survivor style tribal council vote off. Especially when they travel to the exotic locations. If one woman turns off all her co-contestants, they aren't a decent person deserving of the win. Unless it's somebody like Juan Pablo when the jerks deserve each other.

This week the eleven remaining women travel from Las Vegas to Mexico City. Meanwhile, we'll have to take a trip to Iowa for the caucus during every commercial break.

This week marks the half way point for the season, and Ben thinks that Mexico City might be a great place to fall in love. Isn't every locale? Or the Four Seasons in any city?

As the first date card arrives, we hear Olivia's voice over about her secret love language and how no one gets validated like she does.

"Amanda... let's put all our eggs in one basket."

How quickly Olivia's tune changes with this card being read. Seeing as Amanda is a mother, Olivia does not believe she is the right woman for Ben. Of course, her reasoning could be... well, anything.


Ben arrives at 4:20 AM to pick up Amanda for her date. All the women are asleep. Some are apparently snoring like a man. Ben and his flashlight wake the women up seeing what they really look like. Someone has a weave laying on the nightstand. Lauren H. is rocking their retainer.

After they leave, Lauren H. and Olivia muse that they don't think Ben is ready to be an instant dad. What do they know (for sure)?

Ben and Amanda go off on a hot air balloon ride and view pyramids of an ancient city from the air. Of course, Ben is a historian. Like Amanda cares how old or large they are. They land in a field of weeds for a picnic. I miss part of the opening up blah, blah, blah because the Dallas station started a cancer treatment center commercial too soon and cut out part of the show.

At the Four Seasons, all the women are especially jealous that the date started at 5 AM and is going late into the night. The most date time thus far.

Como se dice? This way to a man's heart. Jubilee, Becca, JoJo, Caila, Emily, Lauren B., Jennifer, Leah, Olivia. 

That means Lauren H. gets the other one-on-one. Olivia puts on her fake smile. She tells the camera, "best for last, right?" No, I think you need to get a clue. He doesn't want to take you on a one-on-one.

Over on the date, Amanda plans to tell Ben more about her past. She is the only woman to have been married and divorced. The only one with two children. They got married when the oldest was six months old, but there were always red flags. He wasn't nice to her and always had other plans and priorities. When she got pregnant the second time, things went downhill. She found a cell phone with old texts to other girls and women he met online.

Ben does his usual pep talk. "You don't have to be embarrassed. You're great. You don't have to apologize." All this reassurance is going to make it hurt all the more as each woman goes home after hearing this. He can genuinely be a good guy and mean it, but on the other hand, it's kind of leading them all on. Anyway, she's had a really traumatic life and gone through so much, so she gets the date rose.

Ben is studying his Spanish dictionary while waiting for the nine women to meet him for the day. 

Jubilee hates group dates, and I bet she acts like it. Ben simply tells the women they are exploring the city and Olivia's horsey mouth drops open.

Today's date is an ESL class. Oh, what fun! (Not.) For some reason, more than one woman thought the date would involve cooking or eating. They didn't know what the question in the date card meant.

They practice phrases in Spanish like, "I love you," "I want to kiss you," "I'm falling in love with you."

When it's Jubilee's turn, she's like, "You've said this to the past four girls."

Olivia seems to do pretty well, at least compared to the others. She thinks there's a special chemistry. Maybe, but probably not.

Side note, Becca's top knot is driving me crazy.

After class, they go to a restaurant. They are going to have to cook by shopping at the fancy deli downstairs. Everyone has to pair up. Olivia starts counting and realizes Ben can be part of a pair. Olivia and Jubliee start fighting over Ben. Olivia ends up getting her way. He may or may not have been super excited about that.

Each group gets their recipe cards and go shopping for the ingredients at the store downstairs. Caila knows Spanish, so Leah, thinks she'll be a good partner.

Emily is weak and some people don't think she's advanced past the kid's menu.

Others think Olivia is trying to show off with her Spanish. Emily is ready to take a knife to her. Becca is jealous of Olivia feeding Ben crickets. They have to go look for fresh mint. Emily thinks it is because of how bad Olivia's breath is.

Lauren H. is giddy to get her date card. Amanda goes and gets it at the door for her.

Lauren H. - Let's design a life together.

Back to the date quickly. With ingredients in hand, everyone heads back upstairs to cook. Ben loves to cook. He calls himself the spachelor.

Ben makes bread while Olivia makes mole sauce that evidently doesn't taste good. Most of the women tend to be having fun, and many teams work well together, but Ben notices Lauren B. and Jubilee aren't so much.

Once the dishes are ready, the brother/sister restaurant owner team get ready to taste the dishes. The sister says that tradition says that a woman is ready to get married when she knows how to cook.

Emily and Jenifer made ceviche, but their tortilla is bad.

Caila and Leah make a chile releno. Their stuffed pepper gets high marks.

Becca and JoJo made a taco. JoJo knows the taco is delicious, but the salsa doesn't get high points.

Ben and Olivia made duck mole with crickets on top. The sister chef tells her brother in Spanish it looks like dog food.

Jubilee and Lauren B. earn really high marks for their dish and say that this recipe has to be in the restaurant.

At the cocktail party, everyone is chomping at the bit for their time with Ben since Olivia hogged his attention all day. Ben can't finish his welcome before Olivia asks to take him off. He plays nice thanking her for being a good partner. Kiss, kiss, whatever.

Emily isn't going to let this last long, so she goes to break up the Olivia show. Various women take their turns while Jubilee pouts in the corner. At one point, Ben pulls Jennifer away to talk. After all, who even knows anything about Jennifer?

Ben takes Lauren B. off for some special time away. They talk about how great their one-on-one date was and how neither wanted it to end. They are off making out on the streets for a while so the atmosphere is tense up on the roof. Jubilee asks Leah to go break it up.

When Ben comes back, he asks Jubilee to talk. She doesn't want to hold hands as they walk off so that no one will feel uncomfortable. She tells him that on group dates she feels overshadowed. Ben asks if she is saying it is getting difficult. She wants to know if he even remembers their one-on-one date. He's less positive in this conversations than most. He says that she is pulling away from him. From her pulling her hand away when he reaches for it. This is the first time Ben has been so obviously annoyed, even more so than when Amber tried to tell Jubilee off and Ben defended her.

Jubilee doesn't want him to think she is pulling back, but it really seems like she has, and I don't think it's all in editing. The women are wondering what's going on after 25 minutes. The women muse about how Jubliee hasn't been bubbly like she once was.

Jubliee is fishing for Ben to say something specific. He wants to know if she still thinks there is something. Ben says that the way other relationships have progressed, he's not seeing there being something with her anymore. He thinks it's best to say goodbye now. He asks if he can walk her out. Not a moment too soon! She was toxic. Of course, she thinks she's the most unloveable person in the world right now. Maybe so when you act like that.

Ben has to take a moment before going back upstairs. Leah is hoping for some time prior to this week's rose ceremony. When Ben comes back, he sits down and tells everyone that while he really found her intriguing from the start, but had to let her go home. Ben's trying to get his words out, and JoJo decides to interrupt him to take him off and tell him how well he's been handling this. JoJo makes him feel better about himself.

After the JoJo conversation, Ben comes back to the group, picks up the rose, and says he is giving the rose to someone he reconnected with. Much to my chagrin, he gives the rose to Olivia. I'm so very disappointed.

The next day, Ben has a date with Lauren H. Her clothes are ridiculous. Short jean shorts. Her shirt has a long tail in the back and shows her midriff in front. They go clothes shopping it's so bad.

They try on clothes and go back to the design studio. Since it's Mexican fashion week, they are recruited to be a part of the runway show.

Back at the hotel, Olivia is reveling in the fact that she got the date rose. Emily may take her out. She's doing the whole, "if she's what he wants, do I belong here?" speech and expresses her disappointment with Jennifer.

Ben and Lauren H. are informed they aren't just watching the fashion show, they're in it. They have to practice their walks. Lauren only knows how to walk kids to recess.

Lauren is intimidated by all the professional models, all the beautiful women around. Ben gives one of his pep talks about how great she is and how she should not be intimidated. They both make their walk without tripping.

Lots of speculation about roses this week is taking place as pair by pair of women reflect on who is left and where relationships are headed.

As more and more relationships get serious, Ben tries to figure out if there is anything going on with Lauren H. and if she will get a rose. Lauren tells Ben that she is really impressed with the conversations that he has, especially from what she heard about last night. She hopes he sees the goofy, real side of her, not just the serious side. She tries the honesty thing telling Ben about a past four year long relationship where the guy was a cheater. (Haven't we already heard this tonight?) She tells of how she woke up one morning choosing to be happy rather than a victim. Ben appreciates the confident, comfortable and cute side of her. He does decide to give her the rose.

Their private concert consists of a guy playing the harp on the street.

In all honesty, I don't think it all turned out to be as great a date as Ben acts like it was. Nothing she said was very convincing.

Moving on to cocktail party/rose ceremony night...

The heat is on. After Jubilee went home, none of the women know what to think or expect. Olivia and her many obnoxious faces are sitting pretty, bragging about having her date rose and waving it all around to taunt everyone.

JoJo asks Ben to please keep her looped in if something is going to happen. Ben promises not to blindside her. SEE! This sounds like Survivor.

Lauren B. tells been she can see a life life with Ben. No, that wasn't a typo. She said a life life.

Amanda feels anxious today. She had a dream about her kids last night. Olivia says she feels like this like an episode of Teen Mom that she watches. Amanda finds that unfair as she was 22 and 24 when her kids were born.

Amanda says that Olivia reminds her of hot mess Snookie from Jersey Show. Olivia cries and says she's going to try harder (at what?).

Emily asks if anyone needs to pee, then goes off to see Ben. She gets emotional as she tells Ben how disrespectful that Olivia has been and how by her (Olivia) getting the rose, it's make her question what she's doing here. Emily tells Ben how fake Olivia is, and sure enough, Olivia shows up.

Ben is starting to realize there is the Olivia he sees and the one all the women see. He thought he knew where he was going with Olivia, but he's second guessing now. Emily goes off worried about how Olivia is going to manipulate him. After all, as Emily puts it, Olivia is always bullying everyone.

Emily has to call home to Haley because she is so upset.

Olivia gives Ben some little ring and lays on the charm. Ben decides that if Emily is so upset, he needs to get to the bottom of things. He asks Amanda about the situation. Amanda says she felt targeted from week one. Jennifer says no one has clicked with Olivia which leaves them all wondering what it is she has. He's really starting to question the "connection."

Chris Harrison rolls in to clink the glass and call it a night, but Ben says that he needs to talk to Olivia first. All the women ask each other if Ben asked what they thought about Olivia. Evidently, he asked all of them.

And with that, there is no rose ceremony. The show ends with previews of EVERYONE crying next week. Every. One. Crying. Tears. 

Thankfully, this is the last week of Bachelor Live. I guess I shall suffer week the hour one more time.

No comments: