Monday, September 5, 2016

The last week of #bachelorinparadise

Over the last two nights of Bachelor in Paradise, we know who is not getting engaged. While Nick is seen picking out his third ring in last week's previews, we have since found out he's going to be the next Bachelor.

I've never been a fan of Nick. Never ever. I would have much rather seen Luke or Chase from last season be the new man in charge. However, maybe if Nick finally has his own season, we'll be done with him. Until he doesn't choose anyone and it's Brad Womack all over again.

Anyway...

The show begins with Grant and Lace lounging around, talking. Lace is scared, but Grant tells her it's because it's real.

Jen is falling in love with Nick, but she thinks he's being closed off because of the past.

It's the end of the season, but Tiara the chicken enthusiast shows up with a date card to shake things up. "Tiara, you are the last to arrive. Don't cluck it up."

Nick is willing to talk to her because he is the welcome wagon and the sage of the group. He tells her all it takes is a connection. Jen isn't all too happy to witness this. They come back and Nick reveals that he convinced Tiara to give him the date card for he and Jen to use.

They go to a carnival, and he wins her prizes on the midway. They are into each other, but she wants him to express his feelings in words. They go to a fortune teller and they shuffle Tarot cards before asking questions. Jen asks, "do you think we belong together?"

The fortune tells all sorts of things. They had a rough start. One feels more than the other. He has one foot in and one foot out. While Jen claims she never put much stock in horoscopes or anything, she thinks Fortuna hit the nail on the head with the hesitancy on Nick's part. Nick defends himself saying the more feelings he has, the more nervous he gets.

Since they are there for each other, they think they are on the same page.

Meanwhile, Josh is inhaling and getting too up close and personal with his pizza. Then Amanda gets to taste it second hand.

Lauren wants to get to know Brett more. She brings up that she found out there's a rose ceremony tomorrow night. He does claim he wants to get to know her more even though they don't have much time left. Brett wants spend the rest of his time with Lauren instead of Izzy, so he's going to have to tell her that tonight.

Later in the evening, Brett asks Izzy to talk. He's really nervous since Izzy broke up with Vinny just to go out with him. Brett tells her that he felt more of a connection with Lauren. There's no drama during that conversation, and she tells him she should go.

The tears start to fall after she leaves him on the beach. She cries to Lace and Amanda confessing what a horrible mistake she made. She wants to go and find Vinny now. Lace is crying about it too.

Izzy packs up to leave. She calls Vinny as she leaves. He picks up the phone and asks, "Who is this?"

When she answers, his next question is, "What's up?"

From there, Izzy admits her mistake, claims she never wanted to hurt him, and asks if she can fly to Florida tonight. Vinny replies back that she had blindsided him because of some guy with a lamp she was physically attracted to. He can't be with someone like that. He denies her wish. Then, the producer has to have the driver pull over the car so she doesn't throw up all over the car.

The next day, there's no one around for Tiara, so she inhales some chicken wings on the beach. 

Fast forward through the day, because nothing went on, evidently. It's the cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony. It's all about Wells because everyone is paired up except for him. He has three women after him. 

Jami goes off with Wells first. She wants to know more about him. He's had a radio show since he was in high school. That's about it.

Meanwhile, Carly gives Ashley advice on keeping it cool when it comes her turn. She just wants to get to know him more. He's what she's been looking for (now that Jared is gone).

Shushanna is the unlikely choice. She gets in a huff and decides she's done, I think. I'm not sure what exactly happened. He does talk to her and admits there was a connection, but she came really late in the game. She wants someone who will fight for her, so she's going to leave.

Rose time! The last ceremony before "couples time" and overnight dates.

  1. Josh professes his love for Amanda. He kisses way too loud, just like how he eats.
  2. Nick picks Jen and speaks of their big week together. 
  3. Grant oozes his love for Lace. She's on an upswing so accepts.
  4. Evan and Carly still have their weird thing going on. 
  5. Brett is feeling a bit awkward at all the professions of love. At least he looks it. He's not had the spark he expected and can't give the rose out. He apologizes to Lauren and walks off. He rides off knowing a fantasy suite situation would be too soon for them.
  6. Wells has the last rose. I feel a meltdown coming. Ashley thinks he should go with the girl he's known the longest (by like a day). Jami would aggressively accept. He goes with Ashley. 
That means Jami is crushed, and Tiara had a fun day at the beach eating wings before heading home. Lauren leaves with them. 

Ashley is so happy to have a rose, she eats a petal. 

It's couples week in Paradise. It's time to put the relationships to the test, Chris Harrison professes. Will they be capable of moving the relationship into the real world? Go have a serious conversation and make a decision.

The men talk together and the women talk together instead of pairing up right away. Are these community choices?

Carly is nervous because this is the point she broke up last year with Kirk. 

Nick needs the time on the date to decide if Jen is the one. 

Nick and crew make Wells a little nervous given the whole Ashley situation. 

Ashley is tired of everyone making such a big deal about the fantasy suite. She's more prepared for a big night than he is. From there the conversation becomes TMI. Oh, and she wants to get engaged after this. 

Wells doesn't want to go to the fantasy suite with her. She's going to go nuts when he tells her. He's like, "we're not in love with each other yet. We're not going to get engaged. It's against our character to do the fantasy suite. I like you, but I don't know where this is going."

Ashley makes about 8 million faces and her eyes twitch. "Are you sure? Can I have one more kiss?" She is trying so hard not to cry when Wells tells her he needs to go. She holds it together until she gets back to her room. He doesn't know if he's going to regret it or not. I say, "No."

Off they go. Separately. Given how Nick got the spot the next Bachelor, I hope Ashley isn't the next Bachelorette.

They gather up and Chris Harrison gives his final words before sending them off on their dates. 

So, Grant and Lace. Less likely to last. On their date, they go shopping and get "GRACE" bracelets. It's their name combined. They have to get them. Then they find a tattoo parlor. They've talked about getting Grace tattoos. The red bearded tattoo artist could cover his gut with his shirt, but he doesn't it's weird. 

Lace is really nervous about getting a tattoo. Grant has no hesitation. The tattoo artist only knew his wife for 12 days before proposing, so that's reassuring to them. Grant gets his. Lace is too freaked.

Lace gets a dot to feel the pain. She's going to scream in pain the whole time. 

Nick and Jen go paddle boarding. They are very uncoordinated. 

Coordinated or not, Jen is in love with Nick, but he's going to lose her if he doesn't express his feelings. She tries to get him to open up. He loves her as a person, but isn't sure that he is IN love. 

Carly and Evan paint each other on their date. A weird date because they are the weird couple as Carly says. Their not skinny art teacher even goes topless. That was weird.

As they wash the paint off of each other a flute player plays for them nearby. 

Josh and Amanda play soccer with the local kids. 

Amanda wanted to see him interact with the kids. He wants to coach his kids when he has them. Amanda's dad was her soccer coach. They finally talk a little bit about her kids. 


It's dinner time. Do or die. Make or break. 

Carly needs to hear "I love you." She's ready to meet his kids. He's never felt like this in his entire life. The profess their love for each other, the weirdos that they are. Remember when she thought he was a horrible kisser? She would say, "yes," if he proposed tomorrow.

Jen and Nick are so iffy. He doesn't know how long distance will work, but she means a lot to him. The date continues, as we know it would since he's going to go ring shopping.

Lace and Grant admire their tattoos. She's confident now. She sure does swing back and forth. Good and bad. They're all good for now. She loves him. She's ready for him to propose.

Josh and Amanda talk about how fun the day was. She's ready for him to meet her girls. She's glad things worked out this way, but she didn't expect them at all. She's happy and secure and wants to marry him.

Who will get engaged? We will find out tomorrow night! Sounds like there's lots of doubts to work out first though.

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