Colton can solve his problem pretty easily... send the drama pageant queens home!

It's supposed to get uber dramatic tonight on The Bachelor.

Sydney hopes the drama is over. Hasn't she ever watched this show?

We start off with Chris Harrison arriving with the first date card. He hands it off and quickly ducks out the door.

"Katie, Heather, Hannah B., Courtney, Kirpa, Tracy, Demi, Caelynn... I'm looking for life's greatest treasure. - Colton"

Hannah B. (Miss AL) was hoping Caeylnn (Miss NC) would not be on her group date. The feeling was mutual.

The load up and go to some pirate dinner show theater (think Medieval Times or Dixie Stampede) where he does a little acting. Colton's "friends" are going teach them how to be pirates. They head off to get into costume, then go into "training." There are competitions to knock each other off of beams. Hannah tries to beat the snot out of Caelynn. Then Caelynn and Colton have a moment. Hannah about has a conniption.

The pirates choose Tracy and Caelynn to spend more time with Colton while the others are sent off to the Poop Deck. The real audience comes along and watches the show. Hannah is going to put a curse on Caelynn. "It brings out all my insecurities, and I start to spiral." Hannah decides to tell Colton all about the real Caelynn. (I think it's the other way around, but...)

All the women rejoin Colton for the later part of the date. Demi isn't worried about the pageant girls, by the way. I don't think anyone phases Demi.

Katie seems to have a pretty good private chat with Colton.

Demi says something about handing out roses and Colton's type. Tracy says when she was younger, she made mistakes in thinking she had a type. Demi then goes into some speech about if she were an older woman she'd be intimidated and that she feels bad for Tracy.

Demi interrupts his time with Courtney to do what she needs to do to get the rose tonight. She talks about smelling him and tells Colton she knows she makes him nervous. Demi blindfolds Colton, then spanks him with a paddle. She then has a fake hand and it almost gets graphic.

Courtney takes Demi off later to confront her about her attitude. That did nothing.

The women back at the mansion are chatting about what they think is going on at the cocktail party. The next date card arrives.

"Elyse... Love is in the air." 

Cassie is drunkenly hurt it's not for her. She's scared she won't get a date this week. 

I'm sure Demi will have thoughts about this older woman date.

Colton and Caelynn talk about the awkward moments that come up. He likes her, but didn't do the kiss right earlier when she "won" and saved him. This turns into a lot of kissy face. While this is going on, Hannah is telling Heather that the Caelynn she was once friends with is different and has a different personality than this girl. Hannah seems manic to me. She's "shook" about this.

When Hannah gets her time, she decides she wants to tell Colton what's bothering her. First, they handle stress differently, then they had a fallout. (No details.) Colton's like, "What do I need to know?" Hannah is so vague and starts whispering about a volatile situation. Colton asks, "What are you getting at? Are you saying if I like her, I can't like you because you are that different?" Colton is frustrated. From what little is shown, he doesn't actually learn anything. He reluctantly gives her a kiss when he walks off.

Colton pulls Caelynn back off. He's confused and frustrated because he talked to Hannah. He tells her that Hannah used the word hostile and that she had removed herself from the situation. She explains they handle situations differently and that there experiences in her life she hasn't talked about. She's not wanting to get into that right now.

Colton comes back to the group to get the rose, then gives it to Caelynn. He tells her he likes her a lot. It's about their connection.

Hannah realizes she screwed up and probably blew it. Caelynn is upset when she gets back to the group. Demi asks what's wrong, but Caelynn doesn't want to get into it. Demi is alright with that. This isn't the end of it even though it's the end of the date.

The next morning, Caelynn is holding court with three other women. She's crying, worried about what Hannah might do to retaliate after she got the rose. 

Meanwhile, Hannah is crying to Heather. Poor, innocent Heather. She doesn't know she's being played.

On the date for the day, Elyse is nudging Colton in the limo to give her hints about what they are doing that day. Is it a hot air balloon? He won't tell. It's The Bachelor, so it's a helicopter. They fly down to San Diego.

Elyse hopes the two of them are on the same page since she's 6 years older than him. As they run to an empty amusement park, Colton informs Elyse it will be a group date... with a bunch of kids.

Off they go!

First up is the merry-go-round. Some of the kids (or all) are a part of his charity for kids from hospitals (he gives them a day out to let them be kids). They play games, ride rides, and have their run of the carnival.

They finally get time alone on a roller coaster and kiss while stopped at the top before she loses it on the way down. After today, she doesn't care about the age difference because she's convinced he'll be a great dad.

Over dinner that night, Elyse mentioned the age thing, but also said she knew he's be a great dad. For some reason, Elyse takes this time to share an awful story about her sister, a labor and delivery nurse, who had a tumor when pregnant and died. They also started a charity. She didn't realize you could be this vulnerable this quickly.

Back at the mansion, the last date card arrives.

"Tayshia, Nina, Catherine, Sydney, Onyeka, Cassie, Nicole, Caitlin... For every strong man, there is an even stronger woman."

Not getting a date, the other Hannah from Alabama (who had a big date last week) and Bri.

Back to the date. Colton gives Elyse the date rose. Elyse thinks this has been the best day. Colton has one more surprise. There's a concert, of course. Who is Tenille Arts? I'm sure it's her favorite country music act. It also has to be awkward to be dancing and kissing in front of the concert crowd.

The next day, a shirtless Colton is working out and showing off his "guns." The women have a fit when they see him. Onyeka makes sure she is the first to run out to greet him. They head into the gym where they find Terry and Rebecca Crews. 

Some of the women are more athletic than others. Some draw more attention than others. After a little while, they head outside. There will be a Strongest Woman contest, complete with an audience. Chris Harrison and Fred Willard will be calling the competition.

First event: Pushing a 100 pound wedding cake down the aisle. Onyeka, a former track star, fairs alright. Nicole, not so much.

Second event: Ring (giant tire) flip. Catherine is first. She can do it. Sydney manages as well.

Third event: Limo pull. Tayshia has her work cut out for her. She tried really hard, but did not succeed. Caitlin is not dressed for this. However, she does better than anyone thought.

Last event: Heavy Heart Carry. The three finalists are Catherine, Sydney and Onyeka. Thr ree run with a heavy ball up and down a course and put it atop a pedestal. Onyeka wins.

Later that evening, we see Tayshia as the first to talk to Colton. She wants to make sure she was noticed today. Is Heather the only one he hasn't kissed yet (she's the never been kissed one).

The women are talking about feeling the pressure. Catherine says she hasn't felt any pressure.

Colton tells Nicole that she may not be a physically strong woman, but he knows she's a mentally strong one.

Onyeka gets a piece of cake since she won the contest. He thinks she has contagious energy.

Colton calls Cassie sweet and awkward and finds her sexy. Make-out ensues.

Colton isn't feeling it as much with Caitlin. She can't think about a big life story to share. It goes no where. She tries to get her talking. He feels ZERO chemistry. They can't even carry on a conversation. Colton tells her that he was looking forward to talking to her, but he doesn't feel like the spark is there. Therefore, he is sending her on home. He starts to walk her out. She doesn't want to hold his hand. She gone!

He returns to the group, picks up the rose, and gives it to Nicole.

The next morning, the women are chatting about Colton sending Caitlin home. The women realize now they can be sent home at any time. Chris Harrison arrives to deliver the news that Colton knows what he wants to do, so there will be no cocktail party tonight. However, there will be a pool party today.

Some of the women (Demi) are ready to show off.

Miss Alabama hopes to get things back to a good place.

There's lots of splashing and jumping in the pool going on.

The other Hannah gets some time with Colton. He tells her that he's confident with her. That's why she didn't get a date this week.

Heather and Miss Alabama are talking again. They must not talk to anyone else. She's not doing this with Caelynn anymore. She's ready for fun. That's until Colton comes by taking Caelynn off. Hannah is not pleased. There's a "tank of rage that is full" and "The monster is about to come out." Heather is feeding the beast.

Caelynn decides she ready to share some of the dirt. They were close. When Caelynn started to get more attention and got runner-up, that's when Hannah started changing. She notices it in the house too. When Caelynn has a moment, that's when Hannah starts to spiral. Colton wants to focus on his relationships. He didn't see this side of Hannah on their one-on-one. It concerns him. He's caught off guard. He wants to trust his instincts.

He goes to Hannah and sends Heather off. "I'm not manipulative, she is." It's a whole bunch of she said/she said. It's going around in circles, and he doesn't know what to believe. I don't know if either is telling the truth, but Hannah annoys me.

He talks to the producers (as far as I can tell) that he didn't want this to consume his whole day. Chris Harrison comes in and asks why he's frustrated. Colton likes both, but there are two different stories.

It's rose time. Caelynn, Nicole and Elyse have their roses.

  1. Hannah G. (the other one from Alabama, but not Miss AL)
  2. Tayshia
  3. Katie
  4. Cassie
  5. Kirpa
  6. Sydney
  7. Demi
  8. Tracy (she has the ugliest dress and Demi rolls her eyes at this rose)
  9. Courtney
  10. Heather
  11. Onyeka (who didn't get to play out her plans for the day)
  12. Hannah B. (nope, her dress is ugliest)
That leaves Catherine, Nina and Bri packing their bags. 

The mood is heavy. Caelynn is disappointed that Hannah is still around. Hannah is frustrated to be the last one to get a rose. She's pouting though she's still there. "I don't deserve all this stuff being said about me." She doesn't get that the producers planned that out.

I thought Colton was going to jump the fence according to the opening previews. Nope, not tonight. 

Next week, they head out to Singapore. 

Lots of crying and carrying on next week has been promised.