The epic saga of mother vs. wife
Related by Chance, Family by Choice sheds
light
on making women-in-law relationships flourish
The
mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship can be one of the most challenging dynamics
a woman will ever face. The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are
inexhaustible and the stereotypes fill TV and movie screens. On one hand, two
women should be able to bond over their mutual admiration for the man-in-the-middle
— theoretically. However, many times the woman-in-law relationship proves to be
a battleground for two women who love the same man: the wife and the mother.
In Related By Chance, Family by Choice:
Transforming Mother-in-Law & Daughter-in-Law Relationships (Kregel
Publications / November 1, 2013 / ISBN 978-0825443251
/ $13.99), Deb DeArmond provides
practical tools and tips coupled with the scriptural foundations to bring
harmony and understanding to the woman-in-law relationship. DeArmond’s one
objective is to help women move from simply being related to becoming strong
and confident members of a truly spiritual family. Her practical and
unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions,
strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s
success, how to begin these relationships
on the right foot and the necessity of trust and love.
In preparation for writing the book, DeArmond
and her three daughters-in-law conducted their own exhaustive research into the
status of the women-in-law relationship. Through their research, which incorporated
online surveys, interviews and discussions, they found that one in every three
women reported their
relationship with their mother-in-law or daughter-in-law was “bad,” which they
described as not close, difficult and filled with criticism or simply
off-balance. They found this statistic to be consistent within Christian homes
and outside of faith. For this reason, the wisdom DeArmond brings to readers in
Related
By Chance, Family by Choice is
incredibly relevant.
Beyond the statistics and analysis, DeArmond
brings more than thirty years’ experience in working with adults to improve
communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research
and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset DeArmond offers
readers is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law. The
relationship she shares with the younger women is so obviously and unusually
positive that all four women are often asked to explain the secret of the
relationships they share. “I understand the pattern of women being closer to
their own families, but I believed it was possible for the families on both
sides to maintain close relationships that expanded the family in both
directions. That was my prayer, and God answered it,” explains DeArmond. “We
aren’t smarter, luckier or more spiritual than others. What we are is
determined to live beyond the stereotypes and just bright enough to know we
can’t do it without the Lord.”
“It is possible to have a sound relationship between ‘women-in-law,’
although it may not be easy,” DeArmond asserts. “This book explores how to do
it, not in our own strength or ability, but doing it God’s way — by walking,
not in the law, but in love — and if necessary, He’ll loan us some of His. The
book provides practical tools and tips coupled with the scriptural foundations
to align this relationship with God’s word.”
Words of
Wisdom from Related by Chance, Family by Choice:
- You are responsible for your behavior. Let
God handle the results.
- When God created a woman to walk with Adam in
life, He didn’t make a mama. He created a wife.
- If blood is thicker than water, are you
willing to let the blood of Christ make you family?
- Leaving and cleaving. It’s a commandment, not
a suggestion.
- A note to boy mamas: He was yours to raise,
but never to keep!
- Hey Boy Mama! God never meant for you to be
the most important woman in his life. That spot belongs to his wife!
- When we use ourselves as the measuring stick,
the whole world comes up short! Celebrate differences!
- Different is not wrong. It’s just different.
- Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation
because He’s trying to change your heart.
Advance
Praise
“As a mother-in-law to five daughters-in-law, each with completely
unique personalities, this book is a godsend of encouragement. Every mother of
a grown son, and every woman who marries a man with a mama, needs this book. So
thankful someone had the wisdom and courage to write it!”
“With godly
wisdom, insight, and abundant ideas and tips, Deborah DeArmond equips
“women-in-law” who love the same man with all they need to do life together
well. Related by Chance, Family by Choice
is an excellent resource that I will refer to again and again.”
“Deborah
DeArmond’s new book, Related by Chance,
Family by Choice teaches how to evaluate “in-law” relationships with
Biblical acuity and perceptiveness. You will profoundly benefit from Deborah’s
keen insight into the scriptures and her down to earth illustrations and
practical life applications.”
About the author
Deb
DeArmond has
worked in the field of learning and development for more than 25 years. A certified executive coach, she has trained
in corporate settings across the nation and around the world in areas of
leadership, communication, conflict resolution and relationship building.
Although she has been active in ministry throughout her life, God redirected DeArmond’s
focus in 2011 — to use these skills and abilities to minister to the body of
Christ.
DeArmond’s first book, Related
by Chance, Family by Choice: Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law
Relationships (Kregel Publications) combines her expertise in
communication and relationships with her heart for ministry. She is co-founder
of My Purpose Now (mypurposenow.org), a website
devoted to Christian women 50+, and also blogs about Family Matters on her own website (debdearmond.com/blog/).
DeArmond is married to her high
school sweetheart, Ron, who led her to Jesus 40 years ago. She is Mom to three
incredible sons, three fabulous daughter-in-loves, and Gigi to three perfect
grandsons. She considers her family to be an incredible gift from the Lord and
spending time together doing life tops her list of favorites. However, she
makes it clear, “Jesus is my favorite, and the guys have learned to live with
it.”
Native Californians who have lived
in Texas for 9 years, Deb and Ron live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She loves
to travel, and considers herself a foodie. Her idea of the perfect job would be
to travel on someone else’s dime, writing about her experiences, and eating her
way around the world!
Learn more about Deb DeArmond via
her website, debdearmond.com, visiting her page on Facebook (AuthorDebDeArmond), or
following her on Twitter (DebDeArmond).
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