Bachelor in Paradise: Nice guys sleep in jeans
I again lament that I miss
my laptop. After two weeks though, I FINALLY heard from a tech support person, not the Twitter manager
for support. Although they do not admit fault, and say that people can post
anything on the internet about their experience (such as ruined hard drives of
HP and other brand computers with Windows 8), there is not a recall, and even
though my warranty is out, they will replace my hard drive if I get someone to
install it. That’s all I really wanted. All I could really ask for. Thank
goodness! I should get it next Monday.
My point in whining is that
it takes me twice as long to do these recap posts when I have to jot down
notes, then type them up and post. Thankfully, this is the last episode for a
while. The Bachelor with Farmer Chris
won’t start back until January.
I have other things I need
to do anyway.
Ok, so to last night’s show…
Which of the six couples
will make it beyond this episode? For that matter, how many will make it the
next five minutes?
As everyone wakes up the
morning after the previous night’s rose ceremony, there’s a weird feeling and
something seems off. Everyone says it. Who knows why? There are lots of anxious
bodies.
AshLee asserts that if
everyone felt like she and Graham, it would be the best romance ever… or something
like that. She sure has low expectations.
Chris Harrison informs
everyone that it is the last week. There are no date cards. No roses. (Which is
a lie on both accounts, but, whatever, Harrison.) Relationships will be put to
the test. Harrison tells each person to really examine their relationships and
ask if they really see things lasting when they leave Paradise. If it’s not
real, they are supposed to pack it up and head home. With that, he leaves
everyone to talk.
$ says people say you know
when you know if a person is the one. She thinks she may know, but she doesn’t
know, you know? She has no clue.
It’s about to become real
when they have to decide if they are just interested in someone or if they
really see a future. Are they just in the getting to know stage or do they
know? Even if they know, they still have some getting to know to do. I mean, it’s
been what, two months tops? Probably more like four weeks. Anyway, not long.
$ isn’t sure what to do with
Cody due to her daughter. She’s having a battle of head over heart. Cody is all
in, but…
So is AshLee. Or is she? She
seems to back track on the seriousness of her relationship. Graham wants to
know more before really knowing if there’s a real future. But AshLee rambles.
She’s no longer as confident as she was. She’s interested in making it a go,
but is no longer, “oh, we’re going to get married. We’re the most awesome
couple ever.” Although Ash thinks $ is her BFF, $ is not sure about Ash, at
all. $ leaves to go talk to Graham. Ash is so sure about $ that she has no
worries. She thinks $ is either A) going to tell Graham great things about Ash
or B) go to him to ask what she should do about Cody because she is so
conflicted. Ash feels bad for $ and her situation because she has so much to
consider. Ash is delusional. When Lacy asks, “aren’t you worried about what Michelle
is going to say?” Ash has no concern whatsoever.
She should have been
concerned. $ tells Graham he’s too genuine, authentic and sweet for Ash to do
this to him. ($ and Graham have been good friends for a while now and they’re
like family or something.)
Graham decides to get Ash
and go for a talk. Ash thinks she can make him happy. She sees a spiritual,
romantic, emotional relationship. Puppies and rainbows. Graham tells her he
doesn’t feel great about their future. She doesn’t think they have to be the
utmost serious as far as a commitment to stay. Graham tells her he still doesn’t
see it. He’s not feeling it. She sure wishes they had talked before now.
Poor Graham just seemed like
a good guy. Left exasperated on the beach, $ runs to comfort him. Ash takes it
well until this point, then begins sobbing. She packs it up and heads out.
Graham says his goodbyes to
the men and heads off too. He didn’t want to leave alone, but…
Seeing all this, Sarah is
nervous because of the bad energy there has to be back over at the boys’ cabin
at the summer camp.
Tasos and Christy decide
mutually to leave because they’ve only been together like two days.
Jackie splits with Zack,
fearful of Harrison’s seriousness on the matter.
Marcus and Lacy are made in Heaven
according to everyone there.
Robert and Sarah decide to
stay.
Cody is nervous about what $
is going to tell him. She admits to the camera that she’s up and down. $ says
it’s alike a gun to the head, but for goodness’ sake, it’s a TV show. You aren’t
going to be imprisoned if you make the wrong choice at the end of the day. You
don’t have to get married tomorrow or anything. So, she calls her daughter,
Brielle, to gain perspective about “a really cute boy.”
Of anyone associated with
the show, this girl has the most common sense. She tells her mom it doesn’t
matter if he’s cute. What matters is how he treats her. $ decides Cody is good
to her, so takes a leap of faith.
Three couples are staying at
this point, and three have left.
The next step for each
couple is one more date (maybe no date cards, but definitely dates, Harrison).
Again, Harrison tells them on these overnight dates to think of the transition
to real life.
Now, at the thought of an
overnight date, $ is really freaked out. She needs to talk to Cody about
responsibility.
Lacy and Marcus
He hopes she finally says, “I
love you.” After all, she doesn’t plan to say it to anyone other than the person
she plans to marry. After lots of baiting from Marcus, Lacy finally spits it
out. He’s everything she ever wanted. Cue make out session.
The next morning, they are
as happy as they can be.
$ and Cody
$ needs to see if there are
sparks or not. She feels safe with him, and he is genuine, but she’s afraid of
it not working out though. Even though they have things to figure out, he wants
her to be his WIFE. $ just tells him, “you’re not getting laid.”
Or does he? That threat
probably lasted 5 minutes. The next morning she is not confused any more. She
has a boyfriend. They evidently had quite the wild night. $ has to be bleeped
just alking about it.
Sarah and Robert
She’s excited for romance.
He’s glad they have some time alone. They have their hot tub time complete with
tongue. Before long, they go off behind closed doors.
Robert comes back saying it
was perfect. Sarah tells everyone they had a great night’s sleep.
Sarah is jealous of how
happy everyone else is and compares her night to theirs. She’s far from giddy.
She didn’t get the level of intimacy or romance that she wanted – or the room
offered.
Evidently, Robert went to
sleep while she was brushing her teeth and wore his jeans to bed. When she woke
him up, he wanted to keep them on. He evidently didn’t want to touch her. Sarah
cannot handle hearing everyone off.
Sarah takes Robert off and
tells him the night was NOT what she expected and she’s breaking it off.
The way I see it, Robert was
being respectful of the short timeline and of her. Sarah was not the nice girl
she tried to give the appearances of being in the first place. He got blindsided
by her reaction. He goes home upset, in tears, shocked by how things ended.
They should have just held
out until they got home. They lived like 10 miles apart and should have seen
what things would be like on a normal timeline away from the cameras.
After Sarah broke it off,
she tells the other women of her expectations, and they tell her, “oh, you’re
right in what you did.” Bull. I don’t think they were sincere.
And then there were 4…
Harrison pushes them to one
more step of commitment. They have to be grilled by three couples who met on
the series. Jason and Molly represent the “old married couple,” Sean and
Catherine as the “newlyweds,” and Des and Chris as the “engaged, but not
rushing to a wedding.” Each couple takes turns grilling the four remaining
contestants, individually and together.
The three couples judge the
two new pairs to be genuine and there for “the right reasons.” They play
witness to the last rose ceremony. So much for no roses, Harrison.
Cody and $ offer each other
roses after mushy speeches (gag) and go walking down the beach to their happily
ever after.
Marcus is sweating
profusely. Before exchanging roses, he needs a moment. He takes Ashley away to
talk to her privately, except that one camera. As he walks away, you can tell
even Marcus’ butt is sweating. Harrison comments as they leave to the jury
about him sweating bullets.
Marcus starts his usual
mushy monologue, then pulls out one of the biggest diamonds ever. Maybe he
brought it with him just in case – not knowing who he would give it to – just that
he would give it to someone since he falls so quickly. He drops to one knee to
propose.
Chris brings the roses down,
and makes them go through that formality after the proposal.
Then, everyone walks off
happily down the beach.
The end.
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