Please send that horrible, horrible woman home! #thebachelor

I seriously do not understand why every Monday about the time I get ready to watch The Bachelor my computer decides to update or just be slow and impede my ability to get going on time without getting behind.

Thankfully, I'm only about 9 minutes backed up this week. There's a two-on-one date this week, and so help me, Kendall and her stuffed duck better stay over ultimatum-giving Krystal. (Thanks spoilers!)

We start the show in Paris where all the women are wearing very odd, but possibly Parisian outfits. Arie is driving around in a little sporty European convertible. Of course, Paris is the perfect place to fall in love.

The women are evidently staying on some kind of ship. They are at least cruising the river on it.

Meanwhile, Arie and Chris Harrison sit down in a park to talk. Arie didn't expect it to be so hard here at this point with 10 women. He has too many feelings with too many women.

Of course, all of the women want a date in Paris. Krystal wants to continue their important conversation from last week. Chris Harrison arrives with the updates for the week. There will be four dates this week. There are two one-on-ones, one two-on-one, and one group date. Krystal already predicts she will be on the two-on-one. She feels she's a prime candidate.

The first date card:

"Lauren... something in French." Supposedly, it says, "Let's fall in love in Paris."

The women watch as Lauren and Arie walk away and board a gondola.

Krystal thinks Arie wants to be challenged instead of making an easy choice with someone like a Lauren. Why would anyone want someone as difficult as Krystal? The other women wonder of Lauren will open up.

The date seems pretty quiet as they walk through the market together. There's no conversation, it seems. All she says is, "Wow." He wants it to work, but Arie wonders if Lauren is even into him as quiet as she is. She finally asks him how he's feeling about things. She asks really quietly.

Back on the boat, the women wait for the next date card. A bell rings. The card is here. 

"Becca K., Sienne, Bekah M., Tia, Chelsea, Jenna... Let's get all dressed up. - Arie."

They know that leaves Jacqueline, Kendall and Krystal for the other one-on-one and the two-on-one. Krystal tells EVERYONE how confident she is with a two-on-one. To the camera she muses how unfair it is for the other two. I'd be interested to know how many women from the two-on-one make it to the end. It usually is two people he is about ready to get rid of.

Back on the date, Arie tries to get Lauren to talk more. Lauren talks about friend-zoning so many of her past relationships for a long time. We find out that he was in a relationship with a woman who had children and was pregnant with his baby. She lost the pregnancy while he was out racing and was not there when he returned from his tour. He really lays it out there in an effort to try to get her to talk. She has trust issues, and her parents' rocky marriage hasn't helped her views of men. She was engaged though to the last guy she had a relationship with. She's more guarded now than before. Lauren is worried about not opening up enough on this date.

Now, I think he is only going to give her the rose because of what she just said and is worried what breaking up with her will do. He gives a nice speech about getting to know her more in the future and offers the rose.

The next day, all the women head to the Moulin Rouge. Jenna is so excited. Tia is terrified as their costumes are thongs and she gets lost in practice, unable to keep track of moves. Sienne is a dancer, so she can do choreography. Bekah's plan is to just smile big. 

Each gets a different costume to dance in or strut in. The woman who wins the rose for the date will get to dance live that night with Arie. After they show off, they dress in normal cocktail party clothes. Arie tells them that the rose isn't based on how they did earlier in the day, it's about connection. With that, he takes Tia off first.

Tia tells Arie how uncomfortable she was today. She feels good about him, but it's hard to not compare their relationship to the others going on. He offers some reassurance.

Chelsea wonders what is going on here on the group date as they are all so different. She's a single mom who is 29 while Bekah is a 22 year old free spirit. Speaking of Bekah, Arie takes her off to talk. This brings me to talk about what Bekah may have told people about where she was/what she was doing. Have you seen the news story about her being on a missing person's list? Instead of retelling it, go read this real quick, then come back...

So, is Bekah a marijuana farmer or a nanny?

Moving on, Seinne makes out with Arie after talking to him in French. We don't really see Jenna or Chelsea have a conversation. Narrows down who the rose will go to.

Much to my dismay, it goes to the woman I wish would actually go missing, Bekah. She cheeses it up on stage with Arie during their number. She looks better as a blonde in her costume, I must say. Thankfully, we don't see her the rest of the show. However, that means I don't make any more marijuana jokes for the night.

On the boat, the remaining women wait for the next date card. Krystal evidently found it somewhere. She reads it...

"Two women, one rose. One stays, one goes. Kendall and Krystal. We'll always have Paris. - Arie"

Krystal talks about how prepared she is for this. Kendall doesn't know how to feel. Krystal keeps going on about, "It is what it is. How boring are everyone else's relationships. I am wife material. Fun wife material."

It's the next day. Kendall thinks she's at a disadvantage because Krystal has had time with Arie and knows him better. Kendall knows it will be a weird day. They head out to the French countryside and meet Arie at a chateau.

He leads them in and plays tour guide. We hear him reflecting on the two women. He started off well with Krystal, but she took a turn last week. For Kendall, she hasn't had a long-term relationship that lasted more than 10 months.

Arie leads them out to a garden maze where the women take different directions to find him. Krystal finds him first. GRRR.

On the boat, the women chat about what they think is going on. What is Krystal up to? Tia and Lauren are worried about Kendall. 

Arie takes Krystal off to talk. If he sees the same woman as last week in Ft. Lauderdale, it will make his decision for him because he cannot keep that woman. He tells her how last week bothered him and how she should have talked to him instead of the women. She says when these things happen, can we say, "I'm sorry," and move forward. She apologizes for not coming to him and says what he wants to hear. She goes on about depth and color and texture of their relationship. She says HE earned HER trust. This is stupid. He feels better, thinking she made an effort to sincerely apologize. What a fake. She then wonders why she is on this date and why Kendall is here. She questions Kendall's ability to fall in love. Is she emotionally ready? Way to plant seeds of doubt.

Arie takes Kendall out to talk. She started off stressed out, but says she isn't now. He reveals what Krystal said about her. "I don't think she's ready for marriage and don't know why she's here." Kendall becomes defensive. Probably a little too strong. Krystal has gone and made Kendall mad. Kendall may slap the smile right off Krystal's face.

Kendall tells Krystal that hurting someone doesn't mean you win. It means you hurt someone. Kendall tries to be sincere and tell Krystal she's sorry that she (Krystal) has had such a hard life.

Arie comes back and acts like he is ready to give out the rose. Or not. He gives a speech, then says he is not ready to give the rose. He's going to head out for a bit, then they will continue this over dinner.

Krystal tries to make nice with Kendall when they arrive before Arie does. Krystal tells Kendall that she was patronize, and she doesn't care what Kendall thinks about her life. Krystal denies having trouble connecting with the other people there.

When Arie arrives, Krystal's sugary fakeness is making me physically ill. She thinks destiny is going to happen to day.

The women on the boat are talking about all the things that could be going on. They don't want Kendall's bag to go and Krystal to come back. 

Arie takes Kendall off first. They come back without us seeing what was said. Arie picks up the rose and gives a speech about instinct. He gives Kendall the rose because he sees promise and wants to see where it goes.

He apologizes to Krystal in front of Kendall about how hard it is to say goodbye to her. He walks out with Kendall and leaves her there.

The women on the boat pop champagne when the man comes in to get Krystal's suitcase. She watches them leave and comments about how Arie doesn't want someone independent. He wants someone needy.

I am so glad we don't have to hear her be breathy any more.

The next day, Arie and Jacqueline set out, but their car breaks down. Arie tries, but fails at fixing it. This is what happens when you don't have a pit crew. 

From there, they set out in a cab, and go shopping. He tells her how much he likes her as they walk around Paris smooching. She seems to be staggering in her high heels. They go to a swank restaurant. When they talk, Jacqueline shares that she was worried that she was just an experiment. Arie admits that he was intimidated by her intelligence, so the distance between them at first was his fault. She's going for a PhD that will take six years. That's where she is at, and he doesn't want to hold anyone back. He feels deeply for her, so offers the rose. She's so glad because she wasn't ready to say goodbye. I feel like this date just got rushed through.

It's time for a rose ceremony. No cocktail party. Just rose ceremony. Four already have roses: Lauren, Bekah, Kendall and Jacqueline. There are only three more to be given out:

  1. Tia
  2. Seinne
  3. Becca K.

Going home: Chelsea and Jenna.

I feel like it could have been a toss-up between Jenna and Seinne. Neither have gotten much screen time. I didn't like Chelsea at first, but other people's crazy started to drown hers out. I wouldn't have cheered her on in the end.

Arie informs the women that next week they are on to Tuscany, Italy. 

Some of the women talk about how they didn't think Chelsea would leave. Lauren is off to the side freaking out. I'm not sure if she's talking to another woman or the production staff. Seems she's really connected to Arie all of a sudden. 

Next week the tears will fall. Yes, Arie's tears will fall. The women cry too. 

By the way, I will not be blogging on The Bachelor Winter Games.