Here's a book that I read recently that I recommend to all you firstborn children out there. I can't say that the book fixed all my problems, however, I have come to realize that the obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive, perfectionist, over-worked, overwhelmed, stressed out, too hard on myself tendencies that I have actually have a LOT to do with being the oldest child.
I really thought it was just a personal problem, but this book really helped me to see that oh, my goodness, it's not just me! The descriptions hit the nail on the head in my case. The Firstborn Advantage
aims to take you from being the discouraged perfectionist the the successful achiever that firstborns were born to be.