Who’s in charge of your family: you or Jesus?
Part 2 of an interview with Michelle
Anthony,
Author of Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family
We
all want to guide our children into the abundant life that Jesus offers. But
when we pursue the more and better that the world offers above our
pursuit of Jesus, we fall into dangerous parenting habits.
In
Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family:
Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles (David C
Cook/January 1, 2015/ISBN: 978-0781411394/$15.99), Dr.
Michelle Anthony unpacks six common dysfunctional parenting styles that we fall
into out of habit, lack of attention, or just oversight due to busyness. If you
long to show your children Jesus but don’t know how to do it, you’ll find hope
in this practical guide to creating a relentlessly grace-filled home that is
focus on God as first in charge.
Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family was made
for that “freak-out” moment nearly all parents have when they realize their
child’s view of God largely comes from what he or she learns at home. While the
task is intimidating, parents can avoid the temptation to ignore, outsource or
overcompensate and find balance in letting the Lord become the Director of
their family’s story.
Anthony
points out that while some dysfunction is simply the reality of living in an
imperfect world, truly painful dysfunction comes when we choose to sit in the
Director’s chair of our life — pursuing abundant life instead of pursuing
Christ. By surrendering the pen and allowing God to write the script as He sees
fit, parents can guide their children into the abundant life Jesus offers, even
in the midst of day-to-day living. This inspiring guide offers practical ideas
to get parents unstuck in their family journey of faith.
Q:
What does a spiritually healthy family look like?
A spiritually healthy family is made up
of members who, in a relationship with Jesus, seek to understand and live a
surrendered life to God’s plan and will. Through God’s Word they learn this
plan, are convicted by God’s Spirit to understand sin areas and allow
forgiveness and grace to heal broken places in their lives. They understand
that without God’s help and power, they will not be able to live in peace or
victory.
Q:
Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family
shares a number of stories from parents trying to make Christ the director of
their families — what is the common thread you see in spiritually healthy
families?
Spiritually healthy families still make
mistakes and have sin in their lives; however they are endeavoring to live in
reality, and they own up to their shortcomings and mistakes. They keep short
accounts with God and others so a one-time offense does not have to become a
habit or character flaw.

James Dean once said, “When an actor
plays a scene the way the director intended, it isn’t acting, it’s following
directions.” I love the idea that our Christian lives are simply waking up
every morning and following directions from God. There is security in living
our lives “on script,” but in order to do so we must give up our need to be in
control. We must give up the entitlement to have it our own way. Submission to
Christ is one of the most difficult parts of living a spiritually healthy life.
Q:
You talk about living “on script.” What do you mean by that?
“Living on script” is simply a metaphor
for surrendering the need to control my own life, to accept the life God has
given me and to play out that life, as written, for His glory and my good. It
acknowledges I am not God and He knows better. He sees the beginning from the
end and is working things together to accomplish His plans. It is His story, not
mine. But I do play a part in it. If I don’t play my part, no one else will.
Q:
In Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family,
you encourage parents to go beyond chore charts and good behavior. What do
you mean by that?
Sometimes we are seduced into believing
that somehow in the abundance of good deeds and behavior we have achieved
spiritual health or faith. However, the Bible is clear that there is a distinct
difference between good people and redeemed people. Good people will never be
“good enough” to be in a relationship with a holy God. Redeemed people are made
right with God because Jesus is good and He took the penalty for sin. When we
accept His goodness, He makes us clean. When we try to achieve it on our own we
will remain far from God. We want to make sure we are passing on faith to our
children, not the counterfeit.
Q:
What role does a mission statement serve for a spiritually healthy family?
It serves as a compass. It keeps us
focused on the things we declare are most important. Life is full of
distractions, and without it we will consistently find ourselves with competing
agendas and priorities.
Learn more about Michelle Anthony and Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family at www.michelleanthony.org, on Facebook or by following her on Twitter.
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