Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Don't you know you aren't supposed to drink the water in Mexico?

I sure will be glad to get my laptop back. Making pages of notes, then typing them days later is such a waste of time. I got a cramp in my hand!

Tonight's episode picks up in middle of Graham's apparent panic attack. Has he seen the real AshLee? He feels like he is about to pass out and needs a medic. His eyesight is going. AshLee doesn't even check on him, $ does. And $ is very concerned.

Graham, the trooper that he is, decides that the show must go on. All the women are disgusted. Finally, he accepts his rose. Then, Lacy decides she needs to throw up.

"Something is making everyone sick," $ surmises. Uh. You are all in Mexico. Who drank the water? 

It is decided that Lacy really does need to go to the hospital since she's so sick, and Marcus says he will go with her. He fears the worst.

This? This is what the ambulance teases all season have been? Every time they build you up to knock you down. It's always a disappointment. I fell for it again!

From there, the show must go on again! Kaon is ready to go, just so he can go order room service.

4. $ picks Cody

5. Sarah gives Robert her rose

6. Jackie must decide between Jesse and Marquel. She still seems unsure. All in the editing, of course, she gives her rose to Jesse.

See? He should have picked Danielle. She was interested in him. He shouldn't have been so quick to jump on Jackie's bandwagon.

In case you were worried about Lacy, she had inflamed intestines and was dehydrated. She needed water. Marcus stayed right on the gurney with her to get her whatever she needed.

The next morning Clare is excited about love and the unbreakable-ness of her and Zack. I don't even think that's a word. Of course, statements like that mean that someone else is about to walk up the beach. Christy (another Juan Pablo reject) arrives.

Zack had met Christy before, and she jokes him about being sober this time. Of course, she arrives with a date card. "Let there be love."

Sarah promptly takes Christy off to fill her in on what is up, mainly that Zack is with Clare. Christy asks to talk to Zack anyway and offers him the date. He is flattered and he reveals that he wanted her to be there.

Casting did a bang up job of choosing certain people and finding out who they wanted to pair up with so they could decide who else to bring on board.

Zack just needs to figure out what he should do -- if he should be loyal to Clare after all the mess a few days ago when Cody came -- or not. After all, he can Clare just came into all of this as friends. Christy even asks, "didn't you just connect with her because she was the only one here?"

Meanwhile, Clare comes out of whatever hole she has been in and learns a new person has arrived. Shes' all cool with it until she asks where the new person is and finds out her man is outside talking to the new person. Clare once again goes on her rant about wanting a man who knows what she wants. Zack tells Clare he turned Christy down, so it's all rainbows again.

Christy chooses Jesse as her second choice. They have a very non-intelligent conversation, but make a connection because they evidently have a lot in common.

Jesse going with Christy means that Jackie has work to do.

Sarah gets the next date card and immediately looks to her right and asks Robert. Their last date was one of her BEST DATES EVER! She hopes for some making out. Mainly she's just ready for Robert to kiss her.

After an awkward dinner, he asks her to go swimming. They shake hands. Literally. Finally, after going in for a kiss a couple of times, he finally kisses her. That broke the ice and ushered in a chain of kisses.

Back at the house, Cody bench presses $, much to the the entertainment of Lacy and Marcus. Lacy thinks Cody's coming on too fast when he starts painting $'s toenails. Like Lacy has any room to talk about coming on fast. $ wants to dive in, but she's scared. Cody's admittedly falling fast for her. It's freaking her out and making her more cautious.

Oh my goodness! Jesse is so awesome! Christy wants to get wasted when they return from their date. Those two are great for each other. What goes around comes around for Jackie who is flailing around solo.

On the beach, Zack questions his choice of not going on the date with Christy because of Clare's intensity. He wants a relationship, but the pressure Clare has put on him and the short amount of time has him wondering if Clare is the one. Trying to talk to Clare is ALWAYS A MISTAKE, but, he doesn't it anyway. Clare quickly decides to leave and go to bed. Zack is confused by her reaction.

Momma $ goes to check on Clare who has locked herself in the bathroom. Then, Clare runs out into the jungle to cry to her buddy the raccoon. Remember the raccoon who was privy to her first breakdown? I remember the racoon, but had to look up who it was that Clare was crying about then. I know it has been just a few weeks, but everyone has mixed up, so I needed a reminder. It was when she wanted to ask Graham out, but psycho AshLee had her bathroom breakdown.

Clare didn't come here for the drama (it sure seems to follow her though), so she decides to make an even dramatic exit and leave the show. $ tries to calm her down. While all this is going on, Zack is snoring away. Clare wakes him up and wants to talk. She thought they were good, however, she sees red flags now. He is sleepily puzzled by her proclamation of leaving. He tries to tell her that he was giving her a legit shot. Give him some time to be serious, for crying out loud!

Another one bites the dust. Clare leaves, but not before she confesses to the camera, "I really just wanted to do Dancing with the Stars." Well played, Clare! Best line of the night!

It's time for another shake-up now that the numbers are even again. Lucy aka "Free Spirit" shows up. Seriously? Is this like every woman Juan Pablo didn't pick now? Cody believes that she arrives with no underwear. Probably true. Christy is excited to see her. Jackie is intimidated. Lucy hugs everyone upon arrival and her date card reads to "not ruin an chance on love."

Lucy promptly strips down and starts trying to see which guy drools the most. At least that's my take on it.

She goes up to Jesse who is all too excited. Christy was Lucy's BFF, but now she's making a play for her man. Lucy schools Jesse on Chichen Itsa, having been there before.

At the hosue, Christy is bummed and in the same boat as Jackie. Jesse is on his third date with the third girl. At least Christy can go back to Zack now.

$ gets a date card. Before it can be read to her, she's asked Cody. They leave almost immediately. Let me just say, she packed some ridiculous boots for the show.

When they arrive at the resort for their date, the wedding coordinator for the hotel arranges an engagement photo shoot. Michelle is overwhelmed while Cody is eating it up with a sppon. When the photographer asks them to change clothes, she finds a wedding dress waiting for her. Then she really freaks.


$ decides to put on the dress anyway. I don't know if Cody really realized what was coming up since he didn't put on a tux. He does have to wait around awhile though. He cracks up. He's in lust. She reminds him it's pretend. It's not real. She would like him to hold back a little.

Back at the house, AshLee finds Graham with a date card in hand. Unlike most cave, beach, or ruins dates, this is a race car date. The idea is not fun for her. She drives in neutral while he tests out the car with speed. He compares their relationship to this driving date. She's the race car in the relationship though.

That night, Christy wants booze since everyone is paired up. She expected more options.

Before joining everyone around the fire after their date, Lucy decides to start a makeout with Jesse. Jesse has to face all three of his women. He brings tequila shots. Christy is ready to go home before she is sent home, but wants to talk to Jesse first. Jesse plays Christy telling her that he didn't want to go on a date with Lucy. Christy believes him for who knows what reason. They start a makeout session in the bunk room. Lucy joins them. TMI!

Rose night time!

One woman will leave now that Clare left already. Zack decides to talk to Jackie first. With both being un-tethered, they might as well give it a go. They don't really want Christy and Jesse anymore.

Lacy and Sarah express how gross they find Jesse and his harem. Jesse talks with Christy - his choice? Maybe? Robert questions Lucy about the situation. Small talk, I guess. Lucy decides maybe she shouldn't be friends with Christy anymore since they are both interested in Jesse.

Lucy tells Jesse that Christy was so drunk and out of it when he went to her room last night that Christy didn't even know who was getting into bed with her. Supposedly, she thought Lucy was crawling in until she felt Jesse's beard. It's all about the back stabbing now.

Ceremony time! It starts off predictable.

  1. Robert picks Sarah
  2. Graham picks AshLee (which makes Lacy sick)
  3. Cody picks $
  4. Marcus picks Lacy (he gets syrupy talking to her - so sickening - awkward expressions and yawns abound)
  5. Zack picks Jackie
  6. Jesse picks Christy. 
Lucy must have been too wild for him. He calls her "what's her nuts?" He never could even remember her name. Thankfully, she had a quick entrance/exit.

Time in paradise is running out. Will any of the relationships last?

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