Not one, but TWO, possibly three love triangles on Bachelor in Paradise

I hate to admit it, but I was sucked into Bachelor in Paradise next week. It wasn't quite (close, but not quite) as outlandish as Bachelor Pad. The dynamics of everyone needing to pick someone while more than one person had interest in a member of the opposite sex... it got me.

Maybe, just maybe, the people that get picked last find their love connection. Perhaps the rejected will find love. Not that I believe they are really in it for true love.

What crazy people arrive this week? I can hardly wait!

We start off the night with an explanation of why Michelle K. left the show last week before the rose ceremony came to an end. It turns out she met a guy a couple of days before the show started taping and got involved with him. It turns out that this guy was a crew member named Ryan. When someone came to check in with Michelle, a show psychiatrist, they freaked out and Ryan jumped off a 20 foot balcony as to not get caught. He broke both of his legs.

Now, onto the beach house. Clare and Lacy whisper about the two men, Marcus and Robert, who are after Lacy. Seeing as Clare got the rose as a back-up choice for Robert (even though she picked him for a date), I think she's just trying to stir stuff up.

We cut to some of the cast sitting on the porch when Crazy Chris B. who tried to meet Andi last season shows up with a date card. No one is excited to see him, knowing his reputation. The first thing he does is walk into the girls' bedroom to introduce himself to everyone.

Chris' date card tells him to pick someone to pamper in paradise.

Graham says that Chris has a reputation with the ladies and expects him to sample the merchandise whether it belongs to someone else or not.

Chris picks Clare for the date. Those two deserve each other. One crazy deserves another. They go on a couples massage.

Meanwhile back at the house, Robert is disappointed to see Marcus and Lacy out on the beach together. I don't know why he seems surprised. She went back and forth between the two last week. She asked Robert to go on her date, but Robert gave Clare the rose last week.

Here's my advice - just move on. If "your" woman is publicly kissing another guy, you need to find someone else. You also better watch out Robert because your back-up girl is on a date with a psycho.

The next date card shows up for Marcus. 

Ben, Graham and Robert read it. Seeing as Ben did the actual reading, he delivered it to Marcus though he jokingly tells Robert he can get rid of it. He, being with Lacy on the beach when it arrives, asks her to go on the date.

Back at the massage, Chris tries to lay the charm on Clare. They had a very good first date.

On the beach, Elise yammers on to Dylan about her Zodiac sign. Elise has fallen hard for him. Dylan thinks he needs to test the waters and tells her that he wouldn't be mad if she decided to go out with someone else while there. He tries to convince her to be open to date other people. She doesn't want to because she thinks they have an amazing connection.

Later that night, its time for Lacy and Marcus to go on their date. Robert is steaming. Sarah and Michelle Money (because her first and last name have to be used together) feel bad for Robert.

Lacy doesn't think it's to early to see a future with Marcus, but he has just gotten out of his relationship with Andi. She wants to have a serious conversation. True to his style, he admits feelings early and assures her that he is ready to move on.

Chris decides to go off and get some time with Elise who is trying to make Dylan jealous. Clare had felt a connection, but is warned that Chris is a player. Chris and Elise go off in the ocean (literally and well, you know). Graham, Robert, Michelle Money and Clare gawk from the hot tub to see who it is off in the ocean. Clare is little jealous, but Dylan is in his bunk asleep.

The next morning, Elise tells Michelle Money why she went off with Chris - Dylan told her to date other people. Elise wants a relationship - marriage, kids, all that, so she'll go after anyone that will give it to her. Elise starts crying about one guy or another, but is really 100% into Dylan and she believes it's a turning point. She tells Dylan that she kissed Chris (is that all?) which ticks him off. HELLO BOZO! She did what you told her to do so that you would be free to test the waters. Now he is convinced it won't work out.

Claire is conflicted about her time in Paradise since everyone she goes on a date with ends up with someone else. Things get more interesting when Zack from Desiree's season shows up. Claire's excited because he's a friend.

Of course, Zack arrives with a date card. "Choose someone and go explore your relationship."

Zack picks Clare, Miss Popularity. Robert is freaked not knowing who will give him a rose now. Chris is too since both guys have lost their love interest in another triangle outside of Clare. Clare and Zack go off in the ocean where she feels his connection (gag).

Back at the house, Elise chats with the girls about her man Dylan. Sarah sits around listening when she should be trying to make a connection with someone, anyone. Chris needs Elise to give him a rose, so starts to stir up trouble saying Dylan doesn't care.

Meanwhile, Marcus tells Dylan he should go talk to Sarah and ask her out if he gets a date card. Sure enough, Chris finds Dylan's date card. Chris doesn't know that Dylan has no intentions of taking Elise, or so he tells Marcus.

I'm wondering at this point why we haven't seen Marquel trying to further his moves on Money or AshLee pining away over Graham. All in good time, I'm guessing.

Back from commercial, Elise is convinced she's going to get a date with Dylan because they have been talking about their first dates for hours every day.

Dylan asks Sarah to talk, and invites her to go along. Sarah doesn't immediately say yes, she hesitates and asks why he's not taking Elise. In a completely bad move, Sarah tells Dylan that she has to think about it. Elise is Sarah's BFF on the show. Sarah reveals to Elise the card said:

"Enjoy your first date with the woman of your choice."

Elise trusts Sarah and wants Dylan to have fun, or so she says. "You deserve it and so does he." They just have to work through this. Can you say delusional?

FINALLY, Sarah goes to Dylan and tells him she wants to go. Can you say awkward?

While Sarah and Dylan are on their date, everyone else is left with hearing Elise whine the night away. Elise still believes she and Dylan have a terrific connection, but he is just scared.

Dylan hopes for a real connection or at least gets Sarah's rose. He pays her compliments about how beautiful she is and such. She's so awkward though.

On the beach, Ben's trying to lead the party which is impressive to Money. Their new thing is "YOPO" which is you're only in paradise once.

In the house Marquel is laying around, and Marcus shows Marquel a letter that Marcus finds in Ben's bag after he (Marcus) poured water on it. Evidently Ben has a girlfriend, and Marquel doesn't take kindly to this. Marq and Marc decide to confront Ben.

Ben wants to know how Marcus found it - while brushing his teeth. Ben explains that it was something that happened fast when he met this girl three weeks ago. He didn't know the letter was in his bag until got there.

Clare walks up to the fire and everyone asks if she heard anything on the way down. Saying no, she goes back up to snoop. She goes back down after snooping to tell everyone what she heard. Then the drunk masses go up to find out what is going on.

Michelle gets emotional about leaving her daughter behind in order to try to meet someone there and is offended that Ben came and already had a connection with someone. Ben says he left his kid too. Everyone jumps him, especially Clare for "coming for the wrong reasons." Michelle is hacked, telling Zack that Ben came taking a spot of someone that could have come and been her match. Michelle must be PMSing to be this emotional about this. She's taking this all way too seriously.

Ben decides to dismiss himself and go back to the woman he made a connection with in Dallas before he arrived.

Dylan and Sarah get back right after all the drama goes down. Lucky them!

Cocktail party time!

Chris is nervous and hopes he gets Elise's rose since she's really the only one he's interested in.

During the cocktail party, there's some coupling up before rose time to ensure roses. Money thinks she has something going on with Marquel. That's until they go off to talk. Marquel tells her that there are some things that concern him about her like, "you like to drink." This puzzles her greatly, never having thought about having a drinking problem before. Marquel realizes he may have talked himself out of a rose.

Robert walks up to talk to Money and see if he might be able to get her rose since Lacy is sure to give Marcus hers now. Michelle asks him, "do you think I drink more than anyone else?"

Meanwhile, Chris talks to Elise to try to shore up getting her rose instead of Dylan. She still really into Dylan. Sarah isn't sure what to do because she had a connection with Dylan, but knows that Elise is obsessed. Dylan claims he won't accept Elise's rose because he doesn't care about her. Dylan tells Sarah to not worry about Elise because she didn't come there to meet a best friend, but to search for love.

To smooth things out, Dylan takes Elise off to chat. Dylan calls Elise a friend and tells her to take full advantage of the situation -- Chris. "Don't hold back with Chris." Elise doesn't get the point that Dylan is telling her "we're just friends." I agree with her on one thing - Dylan is beating around the bush. However, she does not get that he is not into her. Finally, Dylan tells her, "I won't accept your rose."

Thank goodness it's time for roses! The women have the power this week. One man will be going home.

  1. Lacy in her ridiculous crop top and short shorts picks Marcus.
  2. AshLee instantly picks Graham.
  3. Clare picks Zack.
  4. Money decides to go with Marquel after all. She thanks him for opening up to her this week.
  5. Elise is up next. She looks conflicted. One guy wants her rose. Another guy doesn't. She offers it to Dylan. He tells her he can't accept because she has other options. She addresses the crowd telling everyone that every woman deserves a man that will fight for her and is in 100%. Circus music plays in the background. Finally, she goes up to second choice Chris who is only too happy to accept the rose.
  6. Sarah, who didn't think the speech from Elise was necessary, is up last. Her choices are Dylan or Robert. She gives it to Robert, saying she'd like to get to know him better. She obviously wants to avoid more drama with Dylan and Elise. I get that, but if she thought had a connection with Dylan, I don't know if she made the right choice or not.
Dylan can only kick himself on the ride home.

Previews of next week have AshLee and Graham on their first date. He has to tell her not to start talking "forever" yet. More drama will ensue as there's mixing of the couples with more women coming into the picture.