Tonight's #TheBachelorette #MenTellAll gave me a headache

I need a good laugh. I really hope tonight's Men Tell All is interesting, but I anticipate wanting to snooze while blogging, quite honestly.

I'm going to want to punch Chad in the face. I know that.

I also imagine that there will be a good bit of push for Bachelor in Paradise. Oh snap. Chad and Evan are both going to be there. Shirts are going to be destroyed. Ash Kardash after Jared. Nick is going to be there. The Taylor Swift twins. Jubilee.

Why am I going to watch? I know I will, but...

The men here tonight... James S., Grant, Ali, Brandon, Christian, Nick B., Derek, James F., Daniel, Jonathan, Vinny, Evan, Wells, James Taylor, Alex, Chase, and Luke. They don't let Chad join them yet.

Honestly, I don't remember much about two of the James guys and Brandon. At least Evan cut his hair.

Chris asks them about their first night and expectations. Luke said he was basically smitten from the start. A couple of guys answer, then a season overview video. The battles. The blood. The threats. Temper tantrums. The punks. The battle of Derek vs. Alex is about to start again.

Derek, Alex, what's up with you too? Derek defends his calling Alex out. Nick calls Alex manipulative. Wells explains that Alex lives in conflict as a member of the military so he feels more at home in conflict. Luke explains as a young Marine you tend to be a fighter, but as you grow more mature, you deal with it differently.

Men are worse than women about all this ya ya stuff like this.

Grant thinks Alex focused more on getting rid of Chad than focus on getting JoJo. Then, Daniel the Canadian starts defending Chad.

Evan explains Chad's chemical imbalance after getting off steroids at the mansion. Everyone talks over everyone. Wells said they aren't going to talk about Chad without Chad being there.

This post is just going to be a big fat hot mess. There's too much conflict between all the guys to keep it all straight.

Photo from US Magazine post
Here comes Chad on stage. He's muttering about Alex and Evan on his walk in from the dressing trailer. The Chad highlight reel is played. 

Chad contends the bunch of fake men were always talking about him 24/7, but he couldn't punch anyone on camera. Chris Harrison asks if he wanted to. Chad says you can't do anything else at that point. What do you do?

He smack talks everyone's careers. Someone asks what a luxury real estate agent does in Tulsa. Excellent question.

Chad has dirt on everyone's exes. He's evidently dated both Robby and Grant's exes since the show. Chris asked if they pursued him or if he went looking for them. Kind of stalkerish it seems.

Nick gets really annoyed. He stands up, takes off his jacket, rolls up his sleeves and challenges Chad to a fight right there.

Chad says they shouldn't fight in dress shoes. They might both fall down.

This is giving me a headache as everyone brings up one situation or another where Chad acted like a jerk. During the commercial break, I got up and took some Advil.

When they come back, there's a whole discussion of Chad tearing Evan's shirt. During this time, I read an article I linked to from Twitter about Andi Dorfman revealing the truth about the fantasy suites which are taped over two weeks, not two or three days.

So, during the second hour, we get away from Chad and move on to Luke in the hot seat.

I forgot Luke arrived on a unicorn the first night. The highlights of Luke then play. Man of few words that he is.  Yeah, I think what I found off about him the whole time is that he just didn't talk much.

"What was going through your mind as you were sitting on that bench with JoJo?" Shock. Surprise. He was in love with her. He still loves her. Now, I just want her to be happy. "Verbally, I held back." He wanted to wait to profess his love until after she met his family.

The thing about Luke... A friend of someone I know had him over at her house during the show last night. The person I know sent a picture to me from Instagram. I think he has moved on even though he says he is still single. Who knows when this was recorded though? Or the girl in the picture was more into him than he was into her.

Anyway. That's all for Luke. Now, it's on to Chase.

He was invited to the fantasy suite only to have his heart broken. Chase, it's your turn in the hot seat. Cue highlight reel. 

He didn't see it coming. He doesn't understand going to the fantasy suite if she knew she didn't love her. It felt like a low blow to get sent home in response to saying, "I love you." After a commercial, he gets the chance to ask JoJo.

I am fighting to keep my eyes open right this minute.

With about 30 minutes left, JoJo joins Chris on the couch. 

Blah, blah, blah, for a little bit. JoJo went from never initiating a break up in her life to breaking up with men every week.

Luke asks JoJo if he had been clearer about his feelings sooner if that would have made a difference. JoJo can't say for sure, but wondered if he was saying "love" for the sake of saying it at that point. He reacts very classy.

Chase asks if he can sit up with her to talk. "How it ended hurt. My biggest question to you is... why did you give me the fantasy suite card?"

Going into Thailand, she had no questions. That night during the date, she felt anxious after his profession of love. She thought it was better to end it then than after the date.

After Chase goes back to his seat, the other guys get a chance to speak. Chad gets his chance to address JoJo. He wishes her the best of luck, but says, "we all know Robby broke up with his girlfriend to come on the show and Jordan is a liar whose own brother won't talk to him." JoJo decides he's not worth addressing even though she could go off.

Alex needs to share his feelings and smooth things over. Derek went home in a tough way though I don't really remember it. They chat in vaguely for a minute.

Vinny says it sucked he didn't get to talk to her at a cocktail party and Uruguay. Vinny's mom stands up and tells JoJo she made a mistake by not choosing her son. While they had a good friendship, that was it. They are so Jersey.

The blooper reel is even kind of boring at this point. (It's kind of been a long day. Sort of. It kind of went south late.)

We end with a glimpse of next week. Who will get the final rose? Will it be Robby, or will it be Jordan?