You are your child’s expert
April
is National Autism Awareness Month. As the mother of twin sons with autism,
Karla Akins, author of A Pair of
Miracles: A Story of Autism, Faith, and Determined Parenting (Kregel Publications),
hopes to help create a greater awareness and understanding of what autism is
and offer encouragement and reassurance for families living with the effects of
autism firsthand.
Below is an adapted excerpt from A Pair of Miracles by Karla Akins ©2017 by Kregel Publications.
I’ve learned a lot over the
years in how to be an education advocate for my twin sons with autism. I wasn’t
successful at advocating for my children in the early days when they were in
kindergarten because I was awkwardly overzealous in sharing information and
knew nothing about how to be wise in negotiations. Hopefully you can learn from
my mistakes. Writing this, it still bothers me that we, as parents, were
basically ignored. I know that every professional in that room was there
because they’d earned the right to be there through their training. And most of
the professionals I’ve worked over the years are excellent at their jobs. But
in 2002, the interventional needs of children with autism weren’t as well
understood by the
public schools as they are now.
And yet, most public schools in the United States still fail to provide
effective
educational programs for most
of the autism population.
Wisdom and Discernment
Since 2002, I’ve become a
little wiser in my dealing with experts. As I share these tips, I pray you will
internalize them as you travel the road of negotiations with educators and
other specialists in your child’s life.
You Are the Expert on Your Child
God gave your child to you, not
to anyone else sitting at a conference table or behind an office desk. Own that
fact and never doubt it.
God’s Supernatural Wisdom Is Greater Than Human Wisdom
As a Christian, you have an
enormous reserve of wisdom to tap into. God assures us in his Word, “If any of
you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without
finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). God has never once
failed me when I’ve asked for an answer to a hard question. He has always
supplied me with the resources and wisdom to make the best decisions for my
children. What he did for me, he’ll do for you.
Your Child Is Unique
God created your child unique
and different from any other child on earth. He knows them best. You can rest
in that knowledge and put the burden of how to parent and educate them on his
shoulders. The psalmist David wrote: “For you created my inmost being; you knit
me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Ps.
139:13–14). If there are any questions about what is best for your child, ask
him. He will reveal it to you.
Prayer Works
Pray for clarity, peace, and
cooperation before your meetings with professionals. I also pray for favor.
There are things we can do in the natural world to help a meeting go well, but
never discount the supernatural hand of God in negotiations. Knowing that he
goes before you into the fray will give you peace. “The LORD
himself
goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deut. 31:8).
And, if you’re feeling
frustrated, take time to breathe and remember that God is not surprised by what
is going on in the conference. He already knows what’s up and how he’s going to
fix it. “It is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for
the battle is the LORD’s” (1 Sam. 17:47).
God Makes Divine Appointments
Just as God knows you and your
child, he knows each person on the committee and has a plan for their life. Our
autism walk isn’t only about us and our child (shocking, I know). This journey,
I believe, is also full of divine appointments. We never know whom we may
influence or inspire by our example. You may be thinking, “Are you kidding me?
Do you know how overwhelmed I am? I don’t have time to worry about being an
example!” Believe me, I know. And you’re exactly right. Let God do the worrying
for you. Let him do the guiding. “In all your ways submit to him, and he will
make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:6).
Professionals are people too.
They have egos, agendas, schedules, car-pooling commitments, soccer games, and
families to juggle. Try to truly listen in the meetings and recognize that God
has placed these people in your child’s life for a reason. Think of the
orchestrating of lives he’s done to bring you and your child to this moment.
How miraculous is our God? From the beginning of time, he knew what your child
would need, and he is able to provide it. Recognize the blessing these people
are. “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together” (Col.
1:17). Recognize that they are experts too, and respect the years of training
and education they’ve obtained to be where they are now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Karla Akins is the award-winning author of A Pair of Miracles: A Story of Autism, Faith, and Determined Parenting and a Special Education teacher. She resides in northern Indiana with her husband, Eddie, twins, Isaiah and Isaac, who have autism, and her mother-in-love who has dementia. When she’s not teaching and writing, she likes cuddling her two dogs and two cats, or riding her motorcycle and looking for treasure. You can find Karla at www.KarlaAkins.com.
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