Monday, January 6, 2020

The Bachelor: Peter: Week 1 Reveals His Obvious Favorites

Other than torturing myself and misappropriating two hours of my life that I'll never get back, I have no clue why I am doing this.

I'm committing to blogging on this season of The Bachelor.


And from the first 15 seconds, I am already regretting it.

When the very first scene of the season is a tease of what happens at the dramatic finale/final rose, then you know it is going to be a long season with lots of teases.

Chris Harrison promises this season will be unlike anything we have ever seen before.

As we roll into the season preview reel, I shake my head doubting my sanity again.

And oh, it's three hours.

Groan.


It's guaranteed to be the raunchiest season, I am sure. I don't believe in drinking games, but I'm pretty sure "windmill" references would equal alcohol poisoning in the next three hours.

Peter the Pilot still reminds me of a visual combo of Colton and Ben Higgins. He was number three in Hannah's book, even after the fantasy suite antics.

Peter was in love with Hannah. He's taking so much moving forward. He sits down and reflects with his parents and they chant in another language. I forgot what language it is. Spanish, I guess since he talks about his Cuban roots. I didn't remember it being that though.

Here's the rundown of the women. The * mean we got a sneak peek of them before the limos arrived.

Let me interject quickly that I heard that there was a lot of two-sided tape required for the dresses on the Golden Globe Awards last night. I will venture to say more was needed (or should have been used) on the first night when the women arrived at he mansion.

Alayah - 24 - Orthodontist Assistant - San Antonio, TX - The first arrival and the first in need of some wardrobe tape. Her grandma Rose wrote a letter for Peter. They will have to read it together since she didn't open it up before.

Sydney - 24 - Retail Marketing Manager - Birmingham, AL - She also believes her dress should take the plunge. She says not every girl from Alabama makes bad decisions. Yet, she's not the typical southern girl.

*Hannah Ann - 23 - Model - Knoxville, TN - Her dad talks about Peter like he knows him already. I'm 20 years older than this child. She needs some tape too. She proclaims she is in love already.


Sarah - 24 - Medical Radiographer - Knoxville, TN - It seems Knoxville is representing tonight. She, however, wears a dress that covers her chest. Ben compliments the beautiful dress.

Lauren - 26 - Marketing Executive - Glendale, CA - Her choice of attire may not have a plunging neckline, but is a nude lined lacy jumpsuit. It's scary to be here, but someone once told her, if it scares you, do it.

*Victoria P. - 27 - Nurse - Alexandria, LA - She likes helping people who cannot help themselves. She started taking care of her sister when she was two because her dad died and her mom struggled with addiction. Her mom has since found sobriety and they make giant cookies together. She and her niece do a happy dance to fend off scary stuff. So she happy dances.

Mykenna - 22 - Fashion blogger - Langley, BC, Canada - Oh, my goodness, I'll never spell these girls' names correctly, and they are just getting younger by the moment. She checks out his suit.

*Maurissa - 23 - Patient Care Coordinator - Atlanta, GA - She was Miss Montana Teen USA and gained 80 pounds after she quit pageants. She's now a fitness freak. She is FINALLY ready to find that person. She. Is. Twenty-Three. She makes Peter pinkie-promise to be real with each other and dance it out or something like that.

Kelsey - 28 - Professional Clothier - Des Moines, IA - So far, the old woman of the group. Thinks Hannah made the wrong decision.

Eunice - 23 - Flight Attendant - Chicago, IL - She arrives wearing wings and seems as young as she is. She thinks being a flight attendant will make her stand out. She's there for the flight reasons.


Jade - 26 - Flight Attendant - Mesa, AZ - She does not arrive with wings on her back.

Megan - 26 - Flight Attendant - San Francisco, CA - Arrives with her microphone with her announcement of boarding Peter's flight. Peter seemed entertained. Her wings are in the form of her lapel pin.

*Madison - 23 - Foster Parent Recruiter - Auburn, AL - She won four state championships in basketball in high school coached by her father. Daddy is going to be all in middle of everything. Arrives standing in a ginormous paper airplane. She did a lot of spray tanning pre-arrival.


*Tammy - 24 - House flipper - Syracuse, NY - She's some kind of MMA fighter or something. She loves Peter because he is a pilot, and she loves to travel. She arrives with her TSA wand making jokes about a large package out in front of the mansion.

Shiann - 27 - Administrative Assistant - Las Vegas, NV - She gives him a barf bag for the nauseating conversations.

Courtney - 26 - Cosmetologist - Venice, FL - A couple of guys wave her in like she is going to taxi a plane to the gate. In actuality, she's riding a really loud pedal car type toy that's shaped like an airplane. I wonder if he is over all the flight jokes yet. I was wrong about the windmill drinking game. It's references to the Mile High Club. I hate her already.

Kiarra - 23 - Nanny - Kennesaw, GA - A porter arrives with a luggage cart. Peter says there's no way anyone is in there. Peter would be wrong. The woman must be a contortionist. The suitcase moves, and she calls out for him to come unzip the bag. She is wearing stripper shoes. Clear plastic heels. (This was a discussion with a friend once in Atlanta.) She doesn't seem all there mentally, if you ask me. She remarks that she has reached her final destination. (I hope as in she doesn't travel with them. She annoys me already.)

Lexi - 26 - Marketing Coordinator - New York, NY - Arrives in her classic red convertible. Clearly, she likes to go fast and she hears he does too.

Deandra - 23 - Home Care Coordinator - Plano, TX - Arrives with windmill blades strapped to her back and asks if he is ready for round 5. In case you don't get the reference, Hannah more than kissed and told way too much.

Payton - 23 - Business something rep - Wellsley, MA - Comes out of the limo yelling/asking - FOUR TIMES!?!? (See above reference.)

Jasmine - 25 - Client Relations Manager - Houston, TX - Tries to impress by speaking a foreign language. I honestly have no clue what language. I believe it is a language from the continent of Asia.

Kylie - 26 - Entertainment Sales Association - Santa Monica, CA - She brings the contents of a mega box of ... (See all above references.) He seems a little embarrassed now.

Katrina - 28 - Pro Sports Dancer - Chicago, IL - She makes what seems like a really crude joke, but it's a reference to her hairless cat. It was still crude.

Victoria F. - 25 - Medical Sales Rep - Virginia Beach, VA - She wants him to know she has a very dry sense of humor.

Jenna - 22 - Nursing Student - New Lenox, IL - She arrives with her emotional support cow, Ashley P. She leaves the cow with Peter in case he is nervous. Jenna also needs some tape. The women inside looking out at the cow keep going, "It's a pony." It's not a pony. It's a cow. It's sad they don't know the difference. #stupidgenz

Savannah - 27 - Realtor - Houston, TX - She blindfolds him so he can concentrate on how things feel as she kisses him.

*Kelley - 27 - Attorney - Chicago, IL - She also works with her entire family. Her brothers are super over protective and reference the mile high club in front of her dad. Some of them call gross. Seems like a huge family. They met randomly in a hotel lobby a month ago. She was at a friend's wedding and he was at a class reunion. At first she didn't want to do the show, but meeting him was a sign. They pick up on a dance they did before. She was just glad he remembered her. She does tell all the women they had met. (She considered it a sign from God.)

*Alexa - 27 - Caregiver - Chicago, IL - She also waxes women for a living. Actually, she waxes anything on anyone. TMI. She doesn't make an impression upon arrival.

Avonlea - 27 - Cattle Rancher - Fort Worth, TX - Nothing much to say about her or her arrival other than she has a one sleeved dress that's different than everyone else.

Natasha - 31 - Event Planner - New York, NY - She tries to sound all seductress.

The women inside think there are enough women and I do too as I type this. This is the longest part of the show. I have to pause a lot to get all the details. My mom was texting me, knowing I was trying to watch. Pausing to text her back was driving me nuts, so I called her. There went 15 minutes. With this being 3 hours, I'm hoping to be done by 11 tonight with this blog.

I think we've hit 30 women. We have, but here rolls in Hannah Brown.

Does Hannah Brown want to get a second chance with her number three? To recap, Jed, her final guy lied to her about having a relationship back home. On "After the Final Rose," she asked Tyler for another try.

Peter was not expecting this. It is so weird for him right now. She's as awkward as ever. She had mixed emotions when she learned he was going to be the Bachelor. When he had arrived on her season, he said he was looking for his co-pilot and gave her a set of wings. She gives him the wings back, hoping he finds his person.

Peter enters the house and explains why Hannah was there. He gets emotional. Seeing her gave him more hope that this could work.

The first person he talks to Alayah, the first girl to arrive. They read the letter from Grandma Rose together. They get a good laugh out of Grandma's advice. I don't know how he looked in her eyes like Alayah claims because she is all cleavage.

Speaking of, the keyhole front in Maurissa's dress is just as distracting.

Madison and Peter fly their giant paper airplanes together.

Chris Harrison drops off the first impression rose while Peter is off talking to someone else.

He plays a hole of mini-golf with a windmill with some girl. He dances with others. Has "my parents have been married X years" conversations with others. Oh, that's Hannah Ann who also gives him a painting of the Smokey Mountains she and her dad painted. That's the first make out moment the girls see.

Some of the women are hesitant to make their moves so they don't come across as "that woman."

Tammy gloves up for another security check and supposedly pulls a Trojan out of his pocket. She sneaks in a kiss. She cuffed him, and he has to ask to be uncuffed.

Natasha wants to be mysterious. That's what Peter thought of her. Mykenna tries to interrupt. They ask for one more minute. She maybe gives them that.

Mykenna has some regular sized paper airplanes. She shares her grandparents' love story. Natasha comes back in with the giant airplane and calls Mykenna an unkind word before heading back out. Mykenna decides to get in on the kissing. Natasha is nearby saying, "Tik Tok."

Everyone seems surprised at the kissing going on night 1. He claims he didn't plan it. Some of the women say they haven't gotten their time yet. Hannah Ann goes in for seconds, so the women are laying hate on her already. Nope. Nope. There she is interrupting for thirds. She comes back for a kiss. Again. The woman she interrupted (Shiann) takes HA off to confront her about not having two minutes before Hannah Ann comes in for her third time. It turns awkward.

Kylie is stressed out wanting to get a moment while Peter talks to an awkward woman that he thinks has really great eyes.

Meanwhile Payton is on the battery operated microphone being obnoxious.

Lauren shares Skittles or some kind of candy with him.

The dry sense of humor that made some joke I didn't get (and Peter evidently didn't either) talks to him. She mumbles out what she was embarrassed about. I'm not even going to try to figure that out. They are quickly interrupted which leaves her in tears. She has got to quit whining.

I can't even keep up with the parade at this point.

Kelley must have made an impression at the hotel they met at before. He asks how she is still on the market. He is happy that she is here.

Peter finally makes his way back in the room for the first impression rose. He calls out Hannah Ann. Officially, everyone in the house hates her now. He appreciated her being bold and the gift from her dad. Kiss count number... Who knows?

Mykenna is going to have a drunken fit. She reminds me of Demi. Young and immature.


Chris Harrison breaks up the party by telling them it is time for Peter to get ready for the rose ceremony.

It's morning, and the rose ceremony is about to begin. Peter thinks his wife is in the room.  
  1. Went to Hannah Ann earlier.
  2. Victoria P. 
  3. Madison
  4. Kelley
  5. Lexi
  6. Savannah
  7. Lauren
  8. Tammy (Now she can eat all the cheese she can eat - it was a weird comment she made.)
  9. Alayna
  10. Jasmine
  11. Sydney
  12. Natasha
  13. Mykenna (She's been waiting her whole life to meet him. All of 22 years.)
  14. Deandra (She looks surprised to be called, and I'm not sure he said her name correctly.)
  15. Sarah
  16. Alexa
  17. Kelcey (She was almost in tears before now because she didn't get to talk to him.)
  18. Payton
  19. Kiarra (I really thought she was odd enough to go home the first night.)
  20. Courtney
  21. Shiann (Her hair did not hold up well.)
  22. Victoria F.
Going home are:
  1. Kylie (Guess her presentation really did embarrass him.)
  2. Maurissa (Her cleavage was right out there in every camera angle during the ceremony.)
  3. Avonlea (She came off as a little different.)
  4. Jenna (She better remember her cow when she goes.)
  5. Katrina (Didn't see it coming at all since she thought they were meant to be.)
  6. Megan (Flight attendant #1)
  7. Jade (Flight attendant #2)
  8. Eunice (Flight attendant #3)
It seems like he knows a thing or two about flight attendants. (I will refrain from further comment though I have some thoughts.)

On a total side note... all this pilot/bachelor talk reminds me... I saw Jake Pavelka well after his season on a flight from Dallas to Atlanta. My co-worker at the time was acting about like one of these girls thinking that he winked at her. He is better looking in person than on TV. He was either flying back home or flying to catch a plane. He was in uniform.

We are only a bit over halfway through tonight's episode and I'm at least forty-five minutes behind the live. 

Out to the airport the next day... Peter is washing his airplane shirtless. He flies himself out to the mansion. 

The first date card arrives and Shiann is drinking herself into a stupor, anxious because Hannah Ann and Kelley already have a connection.

The first date card reads: 

"Hannah Ann, Kelley, Deandra, Tammy, Courtney, Shiann, Victoria P., Jasmine, Victoria F. - Look up! - Peter."

That's when they hear his plane outside. They arrive at the airport to meet him there since there wasn't room to land at the mansion. This is where he learned to fly nine years ago. His parents met in the sky. Ironically, even though his mother was a flight attendant, he sent all of his prospective FAs home. 

The women will be instructed on something because he brings out the first female Blue Angel and a Marine pilot. They are going to put the women through flight school. Their first lesson is in math. 

They don't know how many feet are in a mile. Hannah Ann is the only one to get it right. It could have been because Peter gave her the answer. I'm impressed that I remembered. It's been 20 years longer for me to have been in a math class than a lot of these girls. 

Next lesson: Aviation Terminology. 

Flying dirty. And that's the least dirty sounding word. Windmilling is one of the terms. 

Next task: Gyroscope.

Who will throw up? 

Victoria P. gets motion sick and is turning green watching this. She got sick on the teacups and it was traumatic. She is terrified, but gets Peter's support. She runs to the restroom after Peter spins her wildly. 

They are sent to go put on flight suits. They have to do an obstacle course. The winner gets a sunset flight with Peter. 

Kelley, Shiann and Tammy are the three to get dressed. Shiann takes too long straightening her clothes, so she didn't get to the final two part of the race. Tammy follows the course, but Kelly just rides straight. By cheating she got the flight. 

Shiann is a hot mess in tears over not getting her time with Peter.

Kelley had a head start, and this makes the girls that much more jealous. 

The rest of the women from the group date are sitting around at a hotel waiting for Peter to come back for a cocktail hour. They aren't happy to see Kelley when she comes back in. 

Tammy doesn't want to come off as mean, but Tammy points out that she cheated. Kelley's defense is that she didn't know the rules were going to be that strict. 

Kelley knows the girls aren't happy about her in more ways than one. She sure isn't going to tell them that they are all at the hotel where she and Peter met. 

Victoria P. must have lost her contacts. She is talking about how nice it was that he took care of her. He remembers that she told him the night before she had never gotten flowers from a guy before, so he goes and pulls some from an arrangement in the other room.

Pause on that date. A date card arrives at the mansion. "Madison - I want to show you what forever looks like."

Savannah is whining over not getting the date. She just needs ttiiiiiiimmmmmeeee to show him who she is.

Shiann got emotional after the date because they haven't had a lot of time. No one other than Hannah Ann and Kelley have. Speaking of Kelley, here she comes. I'd be ticked. Shiann goes and cries to the others.

Peter takes Kelley down to the place where they met before. He tells her that he was glad she was the one who got the one-on-one time. Peter also tells her he knows she has a target on her back now. They have a full blown make out session on the bar. 

When it comes time for the rose, with the speech, Victoria P. thought it was going to be her, but it goes to Kelley. Peter spills the beans about it being the place they met. The women picked up that he said "first spark" meaning he had a spark the first time they met. 

It's time for Madison's one-on-one with Peter.

She is definitely more fixed up than the girls were the day before. He takes her to his parents' house where his parents are renewing their vows that day. There are heaps of people there. 

Peter officiates the ceremony. 

This may be really weird to look back on. A big family event and some random date there. It's a 31st anniversary, so it's a random number and all arranged for TV anyway. 

Madison tells Peter's mother it already seems like she has known him her whole life. Of course, Madison catches the bouquet. It's all staged.

Later that night, they have fake dinner. She felt so comfortable with his friends and family. She talks about her parents. She sees a lot of her dad in him, and she's always wanted to marry someone like her dad. (You know I told you the daddy thing was going to creep in sometime.) 

Already, she is talking of how hard it will be to share him. Peter tells her it's just going to get worse. 

After a bit more chit chat, he hands over the date rose. 

Cue the private concert with Tenille Arts. After a song and dance alone, the family and friends pour in. 

Back at the mansion... the next date card...

"Lauren, Sydney, Payton, Natasha, Alexa, Kelcey, Mykenna, Alayna, Savannah - I hope this isn't awkward. - Peter." 

Sarah, Kiarra and Lexi are the three without dates this week.

We pick back up the next day as group two arrives on location for the date. He claims to have no idea what they are doing. He asked a good friend to coordinate the date. That good friend, making it awkward, is Hannah Brown. 

Some of the women are not amused. They wonder why she keeps showing up. Hannah tells about their dating history in front of everyone. Peter finds it awkward as he tells the story of the windmill. Natasha says it's bad enough with the other girls, it's worse with an ex. 

Hannah tells all the women they have to tell a "story" in front of everyone. Hannah tells the producers she's not sure how she feels. Hannah is ugly crying backstage. And I mean all of her mascara running, eyelashes about to fall off crying. She says she's happy for him, but it's a lot. He asks what it was like the first night coming to the mansion. She says, "Terrible." Part of him was hoping she was wanting to stay, but Peter is glad she brought his wings back. 

Part of her wanted to talk more at "After the Final Rose." He didn't want to be her third choice. Then, she moved within 20 minutes of him.

Peter asks what she would say if he asked her to join the rest of the women. "Maybe."

He asks her if she regrets sending him home in Crete. She second guesses it all the time. 

She thought it was going to be him and Jed. He says she never told him that. His heart sank when she asked Tyler out at the last episode. She blames Peter for not reaching out (so she didn't reach out to him). Hannah thought Peter wanted to be the next Bachelor. She thought there was still something there. 

Peter asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He's confused. He isn't over her. 

That's where we leave it for the week. 

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