Sunday, January 22, 2012

Timmy the Fly strikes again

Anyone remember Timmy the Fly? I was reminded this was the name I had for him back when I posted over a year ago. I'm pretty sure you can do a search of my blog for the term and get some back story.

Timmy knows better to buzz around me. Actually, I'm just thinking it's because he is not interested in me whatsoever anyway. Which is fine by me. I already have a really strange problem of real flies behind my house, and they are covering my car. That, and there's always a fly that needs to be swatted at the office. I don't need a menacing grown fly in the form of a 29 year old adult mail buzzing around.

I don't really recall why I named him Timmy the Fly - at least the fly part - but he does tend to behave like a fly, flying around and landing on one person or another and back again.

Oh, no, that's a problem some other single (oh, and heck, one married) ladies are having right now. I will, however, and say that he does not realize - or at least pay enough attention to realize - that the married one is married.

I shall change all of the names involved to Biblical names as to not be extremely obvious about what is going on.

My friend Rebekah (who is going to kill me for choosing that as her name) was telling me a few weeks ago that he was back to texting her again, offering to buy her dinner, pay for her car inspection, etc. He actually did pay for her car inspection unbeknownst to her. He started texting again calling her friend and asking if they were friends that he knew they needed to be friends in order to take it slow this time.

A) You usually know when you are friends with someone without having to ask.
B) If you are just friends, and only ever going to be friends, there is no need to take it slow.

Thankfully, after the whole care inspection thing, ignoring texts was the right thing for Rebekah to do. She's not heard from him in a couple of weeks other than trying to avoid him on the First Day of the Week and on the fourth day of the week. She also told me about having a near parking lot collision with the Fly while he was talking to a woman I'll call Lydia. Except it was not Lydia he was talking to, he was talking to Lydia's daughter Esther who is married. Esther was waving her wedding ring around, but he must not have been paying attention.

So, after church, I was just talking and catching up with Rebekah since we haven't talked in a couple of weeks. Before we headed out, she wanted to make sure she talked to Esther, so she and I talked to Esther and Lydia. The Fly made sure to wave to Esther tonight though she thought maybe he was waving at her mom. Lydia made a point to tell Rebekah and I that we needed to do something because it was two weeks in a row he had been talking to Esther. (He might better watch out... the last time I saw Esther's husband, he was in his Sheriff's Department uniform carrying a firearm. And yes, I'm only saying this to be funny, not that the Fly should be shot.)

While those who have known them forever wouldn't do this, Esther and Lydia are wondering if he has Esther confused with her sister Leah who he has met and spoken to before. If he was paying any attention to anyone, he would know they are not the same person. I mean, seriously!?

I told them I would say something as he walked by because in the meantime, he had Phoebe cornered. Poor Phoebe.

Unfortunately, there were other people around, so I couldn't say what I threatened to, and Esther made a don't-you-dare-face, followed by a well-aren't-you-going-to-face, so as he passed I said, "So, Esther, how's your HUSBAND?"

Lydia said, "that was loud and blatant." Well, I just hope he heard.

Anyway, about this time, someone turned all the lights off in the auditorium to get rid of us all. I went out the closest door, and Rebekah drove me around to my car. She said she was going to A) text Timmy to let him know Esther was married, and he needed to stop it and that B) she was going to give Phoebe a warning call.

We drive around the back of the church and see Phoebe coming out, so have a long chat with her telling her that he'd already been after Rebekah, called me at one time, asked out Tabitha, was trying to talk to Esther who he possibly thought was Leah and we noticed she was next.

He had asked her step-dad if she was seeing anyone and if could ask her out. I see where it is a noble and the gentlemen thing to do in asking a dad, but A) we're all adults here, B) it's not 1921, C) what is it about dads? I guess dads can identify with younger guys trying to find a worthy woman, but dads should not speak for their daughters.

Before he makes his strike (and he's struck out enough to claim the golden sombrero at church alone), he doesn't know anything about anyone. He needs to have a conversation where the first question is not, "are you seeing anyone?" Had he known a little bit, he would have known that Moses was Phoebe's step-dad and wouldn't have kept saying, ah you don't need to see your dad since Moses is your dad anyway." Timmy knows nothing of their relationship to make those kinds of comments even though they have a good one.

Phoebe had even heard him mention Miriam, who is way too young for him to cast his eyes upon. Rebekah has also warned Mary to watch out and keep out of his line of vision. If Dorcas came regularly, I'm sure she would on his radar. It's almost like it's become a support group that we must warn the masses.

I truly believe that he is as harmless as a fly. I think he means well. I think he really doesn't know better. Yet, his parents' urging for him to find a good Christian girl at church is not really going to work out within the confines of our congregation.

I'm just not sure what the solution to this problem is. In the meantime, with each closing prayer, we all just scatter like ants when the pile is kicked.

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