It shouldn't be that hard to pick out a card.

I used to think it was hard to pick out a birthday card. I could spend the longest time looking at most every card.

Now, it is downright near impossible.

First, I disqualify all the Yo-Yo and what's his name cards that scream and cost $5 because cards last about two seconds before they get discarded, especially by some people.

Then, I am not a terribly sappy person, so I am not into those oversized cards that have an extra layer of paper inside with the printed poems.

After that, there's the card you would send your 6th cousin three times removed that you don't really know (if your mother made you send them a card) because the card says nothing except "Happy Birthday."

Then, every single card in the humor section is crass. Squirrels aren't just cute animals - they have, well you know what squirrels hoard. I couldn't tell you how many cards referred to beer, bodily functions, certain body parts, or behaviors depicted in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Now, tell me, what do I get dad, brother, or a friend of mine who is also the preacher's wife?

I skipped my dad for now, went 3rd cousin on my brother and miraculously found a funny card with a Bible joke for the preacher's wife.

I will never get that 20 minutes of my life back.

Oh, and I wasn't in the hunt for a sympathy card, but had to pick up this one to make sure it was just put in the wrong place.