Go home! No, you go home! #bachelorinparadise
Suddenly, my head starts to ache. It must be the mere thought of watching. I'm into self-inflicted torture, obviously.
Tonight starts with Ashley I aka Ash Kardash crying her eyes out because Jared's just not that into her. Jared has his head in his hands, probably crying himself. Ash is going on about a glimmer. Jared angrily asks, "so why did you come?"
"To get over you."
Jared is ready to go home, letting her know that this is unfair to both of them to have to go through all this. Ash tells him that every time he walks out of a room she misses him.
Jared tells Ash Kardash that he likes Caila, he's been as blunt as he can, he cares for her, but not romantically.
"Are you sure you're never going to care for me more?"
Will he go home to escape Ash or will he stick around to get to know Caila. He tells Caila, "don't worry about Ashley. I want to be here for you."
Now she's laugh crying saying she'd rather be in a body cast than watch Jared with Caila. Whether it's edited in or not, you can hear crying in the background. It's so annoying.
Finally, we get attention away from Ash, we see the twins doing their Riverdance routine.
Now, on to Carly and Evan. Carly says something about her boobs might possibly fall out at some time. She realizes that she had been pushing him away when she shouldn't have. She doesn't mind kissing him so much anymore. Or she just wants a rose and she is faking it, just like he faked his injury last week. He just admitted it to the camera in his interview.
Carly proclaims it an odd rose ceremony. Daniel is pretty much the only one with a rose up for grabs. He's going to let the women come to him. Sarah does come to him with a half birthday cake she made for his half birthday.
After licking her frosting off her fork, Sarah asks Daniel if he wants to lick frosting off of her. In what my third grade kids at church would say, he burns her by saying, "it depends on if you took a shower."
The twins don't want to leave, so they are going to have to work some magic. They don't think they can top the cake, so they debate which of them has to kiss Daniel in an effort to save them both. Haley draws the short straw. She has a look on her face that isn't convincing when she says she wants to get to know him more. Haley says she would ask him out if she got a date card and to prove her interest, gives him a quick kiss.
Ash is still crying. Now she's crying to Jorge. He looks like he'd rather pass a kidney stone. Daniel goes to talk to Ashley, ay. (So Canadian.) He tries to give her a pep talk. He's also crude in his interview to the camera about why he wouldn't mind getting with her.
Daniel comes back, squeezes in between the twins, and Sarah says, "you know what would be nice from a guy that likes me? That he would come sit by me."
He doesn't move.
Finally, it's rose time!
Ash wants earplugs so she doesn't have to hear Jared's words. So immature.
- Grant is still with crazy Lace.
- Josh and Amanda (GO HOME TO YOUR KIDS!)
- Nick and Jennifer (That's her name, right? I still don't remember her.)
- Vinny and Izzy
- Evan and Carly
- Jared chooses Caila.
- Daniel is up last, and everyone is waiting to see if he's still playing around. Is he good with Sarah? He went on a date with Ash. Haley kissed him. He picks Haley, and by extension Emily.
Ashley is crushed. Again. The whole, "how can people be so close yet not able to be together," bit which she's done numerous times during this one episode.