There is Hope After Betrayal
Author’s story provides testimony of healing
when sexual addiction invades a marriage
“The world uses the word hope as a dream or wish for something to happen. God’s word is far more potent. It is the certainty of things yet unseen. The fuel of faith ignites our hope. I see every day how finding hope takes a women woman weakened by shame and devastation and makes her strong with resolve and trust that the Lord is with her. Hope makes all the difference,” says Wilson.
In Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage (Revised and Expanded Edition) (Kregel Publications/July 31, 2018/ISBN: 978-0825445675/ $16.99), Wilson provides reassuring counsel, compassionate insight, and wise direction to those who have found themselves in similar circumstances. By sharing her story, talking to other women who’ve walked the same road, and turning to Scripture, Wilson has helped countless readers through the steps to recovery—and shows how they can follow that same path out of the darkness.
“Sexual addiction is not about sex; it’s about escaping and avoiding pain,” Wilson writes. “A wife has zero responsibility for her husband's choices, healing, or recovery. However, she is 100% responsible for her own choices and responses. When both parties are seeking the Lord on their own leaving the other to do the same, healing will happen. When what I'm responsible for gets blurred, the water gets pretty muddy and the healing process is more complicated.”
This newly revised and expanded edition includes new lessons Wilson has learned over the last decade. Wilson begins Hope After Betrayal with her story, then uses the stories of four wives throughout to demonstrate the different ways women go through the healing process. These fictional women represent many of the ways we get stuck as well as good choices made during trials. The fourth character is new, adding another facet and voice to the stories. “As I have walked the path of recovery with women of color, they’ve taught me that there are distinct cultural differences on their journeys. But pain is not a respecter of race, and the feelings and fallout are the same even though some details vary. I pray even more women will feel represented and free to grab hold of the universal healing power of God.”
Each chapter covers one key concept such as the devastation of the initial disclosure, waiting for God’s direction, the importance of a support system, self-blame, and other lies we believe. The compelling final chapter was written by Wilson’s husband, Dave, and sheds further light on the difficult road to healing from sexual addiction. Wilson gives readers permission to read this final chapter first to gain perspective before delving into their own journey. A thoughtful new appendix addresses the effect sexual addiction has on children in the home.
Wilson asserts that what makes her story powerful is not the fact that she and Dave have remained married. What makes their story powerful is the redeeming work of Christ in both of their lives. “Our marriage could only be saved if we both let God change us. Every woman must get to the place where she can lay her husband at the foot of the cross and leave him there until God tells her what to do. I needed to realize Christ was everything I needed and no man could ever add to or change that. Only then could I be a healthy partner in this marriage.”
Wilson also founded a ministry by the same name as the book. Hope After Betrayal Ministries was born out of her experience, writing and years of leading support groups for women. HABM’s mission is to offer healing, support and empowerment through education, mentoring and classes for women betrayed by their partner and raise awareness regarding the impact of sexual betrayal through education, training and resources. For more information, visit .
About the Author
Her mission is to help women find hope and healing from the pain of their partner’s sexual betrayal. In addition, she hopes to increase awareness in the church of how to minister to the brokenhearted.
Wilson and her husband, Dave, have been married for more than 35 years and have two adult daughters. The Wilsons make their home in Vancouver, Washington.