Funston wants moms to know there is more FOR them
Part 2 of an
Interview with Kristin Funston,
Author of More for
Mom
With real-life talk,
humor and convicting biblical truths, Funston helps hard working mamas to look
at each day and each facet of their life to discover what happens when they
believe God has more for them than what they think the world needs from them.
And what He has
available is a whole and holy life, just waiting to be claimed–a salvation and
day-to-day reality complete just as it is. The pieces of each mom’s life–the work life, mom life,
social life, etc.–are mended together through Christ to complete her one
whole life, set apart because of Him.
This book is a stepping stone to help working mothers reset their spiritual and
emotional health, habits, and relationship with God. There are performance
pressures at work, home, and mind-sets that affect a mom’s ability to feel
complete and live more closely aligned with God. This book includes the
beginning steps for moms to walk in wholeness and holiness by asking God for
more.
Q: How do
you balance mom, wife, writer, employee, friend and so on? Do you believe it is
possible to achieve true balance in life?
Honest
answer? I don’t. Or I don’t well, at least. I absolutely believe true balance
in reference to our lives is a myth. Balance insinuates there will be an even
distribution of weight for something to stay upright. There is no way I’m going
to evenly balance everything, but I can still stay upright. I think it’s when
we do try to balance evenly and stay upright that things fall apart. At any
given time or season, one thing is going to give more or weigh heavier than
others. Of course, my family is always first, but that doesn’t mean they won’t
or don’t have to be more flexible when my work is extra busy for a time. It’s
when I notice one thing truly suffering that I know it’s time to reign back and
re-prioritize what I’ve been focusing on.
Q: What is mom
guilt, and why do moms struggle so much with it?
Mom guilt is
just what it sounds like. It’s the feeling of guilt—or the berating from
ourselves or from others—for the way we parent (the way we talk to our children
or the decisions we make that affect their lives). Mom guilt can show up
unexpectedly and quickly and in a wide variety of situations.
The reason
we struggle with it boils down to expectations. Expectations we put on
ourselves, on others or what others put on us. Sure, we want to do and be all
the things to everyone, but we can’t. I talk about this a lot in chapter called
“Raving Fans.” When we don’t meet expectations, we’re bombarded with emotions.
Mom guilt is cruel, but it grows from something we can control, which is
encouraging. We control this guilt by making sure expectations we set align
with our reality. And not just our day-to-day reality, but the reality of who
Christ says we are and what we are supposed to do or handle. There are a number
of ways to manage this, starting with setting realistic expectations and not
getting pulled into the trap of making exceeding expectations the
expectation.
Q: How do we
overcome thinking our time and priorities are more important than anyone
else’s? How does that sometimes flow into a “holier than thou” attitude?
Being
“holier-than-thou” or thinking we, our time or our priorities are more
important than others puts us in a place that is set away and above others.
However, God is the only one who is above us and others. We cannot and should
not place ourselves at the same level as God, but as humans, we are all on a level playing field.
Something to note is that we are not set on separate playing fields
either, we are set on the same field, together. We are not set apart from
other people but set apart with other people.
We overcome this by first recognizing the fact that we are set apart with other people. This life here on Earth is a team sport. Recognizing this will help us to understand proper attitudes in regards to other people.
We overcome this by first recognizing the fact that we are set apart with other people. This life here on Earth is a team sport. Recognizing this will help us to understand proper attitudes in regards to other people.
Q: We live
in a culture that is quickly becoming less and less Christian. How should we
build relationships with those you describe as pre-Christians?
I think we
do it in the same way we build relationships with Christians. After all, we’re
all people. People, whether they believe Jesus is Lord or not, want the same
things—love, respect, kindness. We get to know them, invite them to dinner or
to a movie, grab coffee, laugh and joke, and have meaningful conversation.
However, the line is drawn when it comes to our values stemmed from our faith
in Christ. This is where we stand our ground when challenged or offered opportunities
to think or act in a pre-Christian way. We shouldn’t always blame non-believers
for their non-Christian ways of living because they don’t know any better. But
we do. I write about it and reference scripture where it’s relevant, but the
light always stands its ground when faced with darkness. Where there is light,
darkness fades away.
Q: Would More for Mom be a good tool
to share with pre-Christian moms?
Many of the practices I
recommend in More for Mom are
relevant to all people, so I think a non-believer could benefit from reading
it. There are lots of discussion about relationships with other people in More for Mom, and everyone (both
Christians and non-Christians) is in some sort of relationship with others and
even themselves. The dynamic within ourselves I address deals with strategies
to correct our perspectives, live out our dreams, and manage expectations and
priorities. These topics are pertinent to all people, whether they believe
Jesus to be Christ or not. I also address the relationships, perspectives, and
dynamics between believers and non-believers and how that affects our wholeness
and holiness and that relationship.
There is also an invitation in the book to
non-believers to begin a relationship with Christ and I recommend ways to start
that journey. So yes, I definitely think someone who doesn’t actively follow
Christ could gain something from reading the message of this book.
Q: Let’s
talk about expectations. What are some appropriate expectations to have of
ourselves and others? Is there a line we cross where expectations go wrong?
Yes, there
is a clear line where expectations can and probably will go wrong. The question
to raise is this, “Where is this expectation rooted?” And when I say “rooted,”
I mean deep down in the dirt. There are deeper scriptural references to why,
but ultimately God doesn’t expect anything of us, so why should we? The only
requirement He has is that we love and worship Him, and love others as
ourselves. So, love is the only thing we should expect of ourselves and of
others. This is the marker with which we can measure the appropriateness of
expectations, “Is it rooted in love?”
If the
expectation is rooted from a place of loving others as ourselves, then I believe
we are good to go. Feeding, clothing and caring for my children is rooted in
love. Helping, encouraging and respecting my husband is rooted in love.
Offering prayer or a meal to a neighbor in need is most often rooted in love.
We just need to make sure to double check that our motives were grown from
love, not personal or societal presumptions.
Q: Why did
you include a chapter on fasting in a book about gaining more in this life?
Short
answer? It’s biblical and necessary.
Long answer?
I confess I didn’t know a lot about fasting prior to my research I did for this
book, but upon looking at Christ (who lived the very first and truly whole and
holy life), I wanted to encourage women to do what He did. And he fasted. Maybe
I’m in the minority, but I don’t see (or at least hear about) people in my
Christian circles fasting very often. So, I had to do some research on the
subject to really understand why. I looked at Jesus and others in the Bible who
fasted and did additional research as well.
The answer
boils down to this: We can’t live whole and holy without Jesus. He’s the “more”
we’re all ultimately looking for. We need to do any and everything that will
draw us closer to him—as close as we can be in this pre-heaven life. I believe
anything that isn’t drawing us closer to Him is, in a sense, pulling us away
from Him. So, we need to get rid of what pulls us away, whether that’s food,
social media, or even shopping at Target. We need to enter a fast to get us to
a place to better receive what He has for us.
Learn
more at MoreforMomBook.com. Kristin Funston is
also active on Facebook
(KristinDFunston) and Instagram (@kfunston).
Comments