Monday, June 24, 2013

The episode of The Bachelorette that I've been waiting for



And then, there were 11...

The intro into tonight's episode of The Bachelorette promises much. I hope it delivers.

The remaining men fly over to Munich, Germany, ready for romantic dates and time with Desiree. A few tried to speak some German, and let me just say that Kasey seemed less stupid when every sentence had a hashtag in it.

Chris Harrison tells the men that there will be a one-on-one, group date, and two-on-one. That's the one I look forward to. I've seen previews that it is Michael G and Ben. Let the punches fly!

Bachelor Chris - in whom I still don't understand the appeal - get's the one-on-one date. They go around Munich trying on traditional clothes, dancing, etc.

Meanwhile, Bryden feels his feelings haven't developed enough. He should have just not excepted a rose at the end of last week's show and saved ABC the airfare. He decides he cannot wait any longer and sets out to find Des to tell her. I was thinking, "what's he going to do, walk all around town looking for cameras?" Well, he walks around Munich asking anyone who understands English if they have seen cameras. He finds Des and asks Chris if he can interrupt for a few minutes.

Bryden tells her he's going home. The guys all gossip about how it will mess up her date and traumatize her psyche. Chris doesn't want to lose his time with Des and pouts on some steps somewhere. Des just wants to know why he didn't do this last week before he flew over. Who knows?

Des goes back to Chris, and they pick up their individual pitchers steins of German beer. He tells her she can talk about it, but she would rather not.

The group date card arrives while they are discussing the two-on-one... Dunt-dun-dun... (dramatic musical notes I just tried to type - they weren't in the show) Juan Pablo, James, Kasey, Zak, Brooks, Drew, Mikey.

Ben thinks it is very unfortunate for Michael. "If you're going home on a two-on-one date, you were going to go home sometime anyway."

Michael "plans to murder Ben." His words, not mine. Oh, ok, there was something about a gladiator in there somewhere.

Back to Chris' date. He thinks Des handled Bryden well. Why he keeps bringing up, who knows. OHHHHH snap! He has another poem he wrote on the plane again. I think she's going to cry. Not sure if that is a good or bad sign. Must be good. She kissed him.

There's more tonight than dinner. Another private concert with Matt White. (I have no clue who that is. Just like I had no clue who Grover Jennings was when someone called looking for him today.) Des thinks she can trust Chris with her heart. He's falling in love with her. I still don't get his appeal... personality, appearance or otherwise.

The guys on the group date meet Des at the tallest peak in all of Germany, or the base of it at least. The gondola takes them up. This is kind of freaky scary. (Glad the Smokeys aren't tat tall because I plan to go on a gondola in a few weeks on vacation.)

They make it to the top, above the clouds. It's beautiful. Someone somewhere is yodeling. Juan Pablo cannot yodel. The guys try it. If there were any dogs nearby, they would be howling in pain. Heck, I'm howling in pain. 

There are sleds for each of them to go down the mountain. It's still up for discussion if it was a bunny slope or a black diamond course.

"Love is like sledding down this hill," Zak muses. Well, I can tell you, it's not a hill. It is indeed a mountain.

Back at the hotel... Ben and Michael are sitting around not talking to each other. Chris comments on how it can't be fun.

It's been an unbelievable day, of course. Brooks talks to her and drones on about something. Mikey wants to do something fun. He wants to make a snowman family of 5.

Zak who likes to live like a nudist says that he once thought he wanted to be a priest. He decided on a mountain in Europe that he wasn't supposed to be a priest.

Someone makes a snide remark about James as he heads out to talk to Des. Brooks is going to take another shot at talking to her just to take time away from James because he is one way with her and another way around the guys. Aren't they all? So help me, James has the largest hands ever, and his watch is a wall clock. He evidently didn't break up their time, but Brooks gets the rose for the group date.

James then starts talking smack about Brooks, well, he actually just talks about how opposite they are. The only threat to James is himself, he says.

Ben plans on being a good Christian man about the whole situation (I think they bleeped him earlier in the show). The two of them sit in silence as they ride to their date. Michael talks about Ben saying what a great opportunity this is to promote his business. He says as a lawyer, he will expose Ben.

Des admits this will be A-W-K-W-A-R-D. The fight is on. Michael likes confrontation and says he knows Ben knows it. They cannot be silent two seconds without trying to insert some comment.

Des thinks since she didn't do the polar bear plunge last season in Canada it might be a good idea today. Ben doesn't want to do it, but... he's going to get the rose.

She changes her mind. No jumping in. She was teasing them the whole time. They are getting in a hot tug. Cross between a tug boat and a hot tub you can navigate over the lake. So far, so good, she thinks.

Talking about past relationships. Ben doesn't want to talk about his baby mama. Michael asks if he's talked to his son while he's been gone. Michael tries to make Ben a bad example in comparison to what his own father did. Des has changed her tune now that Michael starts pushing Ben's buttons. Ben is worried about trying to stay the good Christian man. Which, uh... he won't talk about this son's mom that he didn't love that way... Hmmmm.

Back at the hotel... Mikey thinks Ben is the front runner. James is trying to jokingly choke hold him, and Mikey is worried about his face getting greasy

Kasey and Drew overheard a conversation between Mikey and James that never should have happened. He tells Chris and Brooks about this. They were in the car on the way home, were asleep, woke up. James was talking about what they were going to do when they went home to Chicago. Mikey asked James about being gone for so long. James said after the show, they'll be able to find all sorts of women since they are famous now. He thinks if he gets in the top 4, he'll be set. They want to tell Des. 

Ben says the boat was not fun for him. He hopes tonight over dinner goes better. The boat was nothing on the awkward scale compared to dinner. Michael calls Ben out and asks why Ben has a problem getting along with the guys. Michael thinks it is an important quality to get along. Michael really makes a horse's rear of himself trying to create controversy. She quiets them both down, and asks them questions about what traditions they want to have or did have growing up.

Ben wants it to be about family on Sundays and going to church. Michael asks, "what about Easter Ben?  You didn't go to church on Easter?"

ADVICE TO MICHAEL: If your goal is to make Ben look bad, don't make yourself look like a crazed lunatic in the process.

Ben decides to be blunt. It was a Catholic service in German. Michael says, "all the other denominations, including a Mormon were there." When Ben brings up family, Michael says he didn't talk to his son on Easter.

Ben decides to excuse himself as to not blow a gasket. He is ready for this date to be over.

Des calls Michael out, "you didn't have to do that here." Michael tells Des he is going to be honest, and stand up for what's right. Des doesn't see qualities in either one of them she wants for the long haul and she's about ready to send them both home. I think Ben's two-faced and deceitful, but Micheal is AWFUL.

Michael finally realizes how upset and uncomfortable he made Des. Des goes out to check on Ben, and he tells her to go back in and enjoy her dinner. He's never had anyone question is faith and fatherhood like this. She knows guys don't like Ben, but it says something that he is such an outcast in this group of guys.

Des just doesn't see why everyone hates Ben, and wants to give Michael a chance to share why he is so passionate about his stance on Ben. More than his condescension, it's about the business opportunities he talks about.

Des shares with each man what is good about them, but wants to give the rose to someone she sees a potential future with. She gives the rose to Michael. He was such a jerk, I'd kick his butt to the curb. OOOPPPS. They've started bleeping Ben.

Michael the Lawyer feels like justice has been done. Des goes out to talk to Ben in private before they part on their merry ways. Ben, of course, thinks she made a bad choice.

All the guys have stayed up the latest ever to see whose suitcase goes. The guys all let out a celebratory "woot."

Ben can't wait to be seen in public with somebody. He says, "hello Hollywood" then expresses his desire to get drunk. #notagoodChristianexample

It's time for the cocktail party leading up to the 5th rose ceremony. She's thinking about doing something a little bit different. She sits down to talk to Chris Harrison. He asks who the best kisser is. Her first choice on someone to kiss is Brooks on a sentimental level, but Zak is a really good kisser.

She knows what she wants to do, so Des doesn't want to have a cocktail party. Drew's moral integrity will not let him not tell about the James situation. Kasey's ears heard this, and it's only right to tell. Since she doesn't want a party, the guys feel like they can't share the James news.

Chris, Brooks and Michael have roses. The other 6 have to sweat it out for the remaining 5 roses. They look constipated.

  1. Zak
  2. Kasey 
  3. Juan Pablo (he gets lots sometimes, but she keeps asking in Spanish #old)
  4. Drew
Will it be Mikey or James? JAMES. Drew is about to have a conniption. 

Mikey can't color coordinate his clothes and is on his way home. Des walks him out, but with class, leaves without spilling the beans on his man James. 

Drew plans on telling the truth. The truth will be heard!

Next week's preview has her kissing everyone. Kasey gets into an argument with James. James and Des have a sit down. Des resents the guys bringing her into this. 

Have I mentioned that I don't like any of these guys?

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