Bekah Hamrick Martin Shares The Bare Naked Truth
An interview with Bekah
Hamrick Martin,
Author of Bare Naked Truth
Author of Bare Naked Truth
Q: Tell us about your journey and what led you to write a
purity book for teens.
I wouldn’t call it so much of a “purity” book as a “waiting” or “start
waiting” book. The Bare Naked Truth
really started over ten years ago when every conversation I had in camp
ministry eventually came back to the topic of dating or waiting. It’s an
age-old dilemma, but none of the girls I worked with felt like it was being
approached in a modern or relevant way.
Q: What makes The Bare Naked Truth different
than other books in stores with a purity message?
The tone of the book is satirical--something that today’s teens
understand. I love the fact that over 20 different authors contributed their
voices and stories in order to appeal to girls of every background!
Q: Throughout your book, you share the testimonies,
struggles and lessons from various people. What insights did you gain from
their stories?
I learned (once again) that God is able to redeem ANYTHING. I knew this
from my own past, which was difficult to write about, but the fact that so many
women were bare naked honest in the book just makes it so much more real. I
love seeing how God is bigger than anything Satan throws at us.
Q: What’s one thing you wish someone would’ve told you
when you were a teenager?
Your past doesn’t define you. Your “purity” is not your worth. I was
taken advantage of as a child in every way you can imagine. That’s why I
actually shy away from the word “purity”, because I don’t like the fact that a
girl who has made less-than-great decisions or been taken advantage of can be
made to feel less-than. No matter what your past, you are now in Christ. And
that’s all God sees when He looks at you. That’s what I wish I had felt in my
heart.
Decide beforehand what your boundaries are. Don’t wait until the heat of
the moment. Then, find a mentor who stands behind what you’ve decided and will
help you be strong in your decisions!
Q: You offer quizzes, questions or space for reflection
at the end of each chapter. In what setting do you hope readers will use this
book? Individually as a devotional or in a small group to promote discussion?
I really hope girls will use these questions individually, then bring
them back to a group setting. I envision girls everywhere forming book-study
groups that can hang out and encourage each other in their choices. And I’m
actually doing an online study via Skype that will later be available on
YouTube. You can find out more information on my website at www.thebarenakedbook.com or www.bekahhamrickmartin.com.
It’s all about relationship. If you want respect from your daughter, she needs to see that you’re committed to the same things you’re asking of her. If you don’t want her to be involved in risky behavior, you need to find help for healing what’s causing your own risky behaviors. You can find tips for how to do that on my website as well.
Beyond that, if you’re already setting that example, start with
intentionally hanging out with your daughter--no agenda. Go shopping, watch a
movie; do things that build relationship. As she trusts you more and more, she
will respect your opinion when an opportunity arises to share it.
Q: Who or what was influential in your decision to save
yourself for marriage?
I was raised by parents who loved me and wanted the best for me. Despite
that, there were points where I wanted to toss my standards out the window for
some immediate gratification. Especially since I felt my innocence had already
been robbed--so why not just have a little fun in a way where I could take
charge?
Ultimately I really believe it was my family’s love through those rough
patches that made me want to stick it out and make smart decisions for my
future. I’m so glad I had that chance.
Q: How did you meet your husband?
We met at a youth event when we were 14--I have no recollection of it,
but he had a crush on me! When I was 22, we reconnected when I worked at summer
camp with his sisters. Pretty soon I noticed this tall Swedish-looking guy and
that was all it took.
Q: Do young people today really face different challenges
with dating and waiting than their parents or any other generations, or it the
ages-old battle mankind has always faced?
It’s the same battle, just more intense. Parents have less time to engage
their kids--and it’s not their fault; everything just moves at a faster pace.
It’s also easy to turn on the TV or get advice from Seventeen... there are so many sources of information. But like I
said before, I think the answer lies in good old fashioned relationship. If you
have that with your kids, they’re more likely to respect your opinion and
follow it. MORE likely--there are no guarantees.
Q: In a world that views woman as sexualized objects, how
can we teach young girls they’re worth so much more?
Once again, I think it comes back to relationship. It’s not even really
how we “teach” young girls, it’s more what they pick up from watching us and
spending time with us. My daughter is going to soak up more from watching how I
dress--how I interact with men--than how someone on TV does. Do I respect
myself? Do I show her that?
Q: How does pop culture (music, TV, magazines, etc.)
affect girls’ mindsets and self-esteem?
I think we have to constantly remind girls about what goes on behind the
scenes to make women in magazines look like that. I saw a documentary on
modeling once, and it was eye-opening for me. I plan to show it to my daughter
when she’s ready; I want her to see that chasing after the perfect body will
not fill you up inside--so many of these girls are only considered “good” for
one or two photo shoots, then they’re tossed to the curb. I want every girl I
talk with to “get” that they are so much more than how their bodies look,
although it’s okay to take pride in and take care of that too.
Q: Can you tell us more about your ministry to teens?
I’ve ministered for the past ten years (through camping ministry, youth
groups, & writing & speaking), to kids from so many different
backgrounds--all the way from children of prisoners, to kids who are in church
every single Sunday. When it comes down to it, these girls face the same
issues. They are all seeking love, attention, and affirmation. And if I can be
one voice that shares from the depth of the well Jesus is, it will be worth the
vulnerability of sharing the bare naked truth from my own life. It’s my honor
to know these intelligent girls, their stories, and to watch them make choices
based on the bare naked facts--not scare tactics.
Learn more
about Bekah Hamrick Martin and The Bare
Naked Truth at www.bekahhamrickmartin.com or www.thebarenakedbook.com. Readers can also become a
fan on Facebook (Bekah-Hamrick-Martin) or follow her on Twitter (@BekahHMartin).
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