How did I get so lucky?

I find today's installment of "Audra's Insanity" to be quite humorous, and hope that you do too. It is possible that you either have to hear me tell the story, or you have to be Jenny to find it funny.

In case you haven't figured it out that my family is crazy by the stories I've told about my immediate family, then you just haven't heard enough stories about my extended family. If the writers of "Days of Our Lives" have run out of ideas (and believe me, when I quit watching a few years ago they had), they really should come talk to me and I'll give them some real life stories from my dad's side of the family that would give them some new material.

My dad's family is pretty large. His father had three children with his first wife who died, then had five children with my grandmother. That makes for a large cast of characters.

As the years have gone by, my dad and his "full-blood" siblings have grown farther and farther apart. When my grandmother died 5 years ago, the lines of communications really began to unplug, and when the oldest of the five, Linda, died two and a half years ago, that pretty much ended what communication was left among certain parties. Other family situations have certainly not helped things out.

I know, I know... you are thinking, "Audra, that's not funny. That's really quite sad. Life is short and they are all family."

Yes, I know. And if you are thinking that, you sound just like Aunt Lois, Dad's oldest half-sister. Bless Lois' heart. She just wants all her brothers and sisters to get along.

Dad called her last week to tell her that he had moved, and she was in shock. Granted, it was just like four blocks away, but she knew "little brother" well enough to know that was quite an amazing thing.

Lois always asks who Dad has talked to, and Dad's answer, always putting him on the spot, is no. Dad told me that his saving grace last week was that he had happened to run into their brother Mike somewhere in town last week. In the course of their conversation, Lois says that she received an invitation to their sister Carol's wedding. "Did you get an invitation?" she asks Dad. Dad's reply is, "no, and I won't be getting one."

There hasn't been a particular event that has occurred that has driven a wedge between Dad and Carol, but they don't ever talk to each other. But, if I were him, I really wouldn't expect to get an invite either. He wasn't invited to Mike's wedding when he remarried a few years ago either. (Mike held his wedding at his annual, very wild, Halloween party. The parties are actually pretty legendary and known for their cash prizes for the costume contests.)

So, fast forward to today. After work, I went by my parents' house. Mom tells me that I am quite a special person and got some mail over at their house today - it's setting over there on the cabinet. Oh, and she did open it because the mail came opened - it looked like there was a sticker that got torn off, so she got it out and read it. (Open or not, my mother is evidently reading my mail regardless, did you catch that? I think that may be a topic for another blog.)

Mom informs me that I got an invitation to Aunt Carol's wedding. How did I get so lucky?

I think I actually asked, "how did I get so lucky?"

The way Mom has it figured, I went out to Vegas for my cousin Kim's wedding two years ago while I was visiting Jenny (I was already planning to visit Jenny about that time, and since Kim was getting married out there, I figured that was a good time), so Carol thought I could come to her wedding up at the golf course in Ferris. The reasoning behind this is that other than Kim's brother Mark, Aunt Carol and I were the only family out there in attendance. In case you are reading this and thinking, "uh, I don't know if that makes any sense," the point is, it doesn't make much, if any, sense.

I'm going to go back to talking about Kim's wedding because that story gets funny and has something to do with this story. For now, I'm going to stay on this invitation. So, because I don't guess Carol has my address (which I have had for almost 6 years now), she sent an invitation with just my name on it to my parent's old address (because they have not informed the whole family of the move). And, she does not send an invitation to her own brother. The passive-aggressive immaturity of my father's family never ceases to at least make me shake my head.

I still don't know why I got the invitation. It's not like I've talked to her or seen her since Dad has. I don't plan to attend, and I'll explain why later. But, hypothetically, if I did plan to attend, I'm wondering who in the family received an invitation.

OK, so we know that Lois did because she said so. Mike definitely did (because they are the closest two siblings these days, especially after he donated his bone marrow to Carol). Kim would be (and I assume her brother Mark). I don't think she would have invited their sister Kay, but I'm not sure about that. My real main concern in attending would be my cousins in attendance, and whether or not she invited Kay's son Steven (the reason I refuse to ever fly Southwest Airlines). I doubt he would be there since he couldn't get away for his own sister's wedding, but I would not want to chance it. Really, that's neither here nor there, but I can't really believe the family guest list is all that long. I'm still wondering how I got so lucky.

Back to why I don't plan to attend... this takes me back to the tale of Kim's wedding. However, this post is quite long already, so hold on until Tuesday, and I'll continue my story. I've already typed it up, and have it ready to post at noon.