The Bachelorette: Hannah B. - Week 11

Well, I’m not starting off The Batchelorette on time for a number of reasons. It’s not going to post right afterwards either because I don’t have internet.

I was supposed to have internet last Thursday when it got turned off at my old house. Long story, but not getting it until tomorrow. My “equipment” which was just phone cords and Ethernet cables got delivered to the old house which promoted call #5 to make sure the tech was coming to the correct address tomorrow. Sigh.

Between having to get up early and syncing my work laptops that had not downloaded email since last Wednesday night and going back two more times (once around 1:30 PM and again around 7:00 PM) to send and receive more email, I put in an 11 hour work day that was not as productive as it could have been with use of the internet because everything requires the internet these days.

I am so glad to be moved all the way in with the other house empty. I’m even more glad that after a long day, there isn’t three hours of blogging ahead. I had anticipated two hours of episode followed by an hour of “The Men Tell All,” but it’s only two hours of tell all. With all the ya-ya-ya blah-blah-blah, it’s probably going to be a light blogging night with lots of commercials.

Chris Harrison promises that tonight will be a very different kind of “Tell All.” We are going to pick up first where last week in Greece left off.

Even though there were four last week and Luke was sent packing, she needs to get it down to two men, even though she loves all three in different ways.

Peter arrives. Tyler arrives. Jed arrives. They wonder about Luke.

The voice over of Hannah shares that she finally saw what the other men had been saying about Luke. She doesn’t want to see him ever again.

However, Luke still loves her. He knows Hannah loves him, even if she never said it. Luke believes Hannah has made a big mistake. He can’t leave without talking to her again. He’s headed her way with a ring in hand.

Luke arrives and stands next to the other men like nothing ever happened.

Hannah arrives, knowing what man she is going to let go. She is shocked to arrive and see Luke standing among the men. Luke steps forward and he asks why he is there. He wants to talk. She flat out says no. She tells him to go. She also says some other things that are bleeped. She warns Luke that she is about to go psycho. He needs clarity and closure. She doesn’t care.

Luke is making it all about him. His heart isn’t broken yet. He isn’t going anywhere. She moves the rose podium to get in front of him. Finally, all the other guys step in to tell him what for. Tyler and Jed are vocal while Peter tries to comfort her, keeping mostly quiet. Luke still doesn’t get the point. Luke said her emotions were leading her, that it was not her character. Hannah proceeds to repeat back exactly what Luke said. He claims to have not said it word for word (which he did).

Luke says he knows she still has feelings for him. Hannah says she finally found her clarity and got it when he said what he did. Luke claims he was misunderstood.

Chris Harrison comes up to ask Hannah what she wants. She says she wants Luke to leave. She looks him in the eye (as asked) and confirms she has no feelings for him.

Chris tells Hannah that Luke had a ring in his pocket and was ready to propose to her.

Jed is convinced all is right with the world now. I think Jed’s going home now. I think he’s in for disappointment.

Peter comments that the Puke show is over. Peter is pretty confident without saying it. That’s what time in the windmill will do for you.

Alas, we don’t find out at this point who else was sent home. I’m guessing next week starts there. We now jump into “Men Tell All.”

First in the hot seat is Luke. When he is introduced, no applause whatsoever. Total silent reception.

Chris points out that we had never witnessed what just happened before. Chris asks what he was looking for. Luke wanted clarity and/closure. He just thought he was being sent home because Hannah thought he was judging her. Chris points out he did have his say the night he said what he did. Luke tries to backtrack and change what the conversation was. We could go back to the video, but…

Everyone in the audience tilts their head puzzlement.

Luke said he was taking like it was a single relationship. He doesn’t “get to see her straddle or mount or swap saliva with other guys.” He continues that it wasn’t easy, he was getting fit for a proposal suit and he found out the night before that his potential future wife was having sex with other guys. Chris asked why he didn’t just walk away. Luke said he made a mistake. He made Hannah out to be the perfect one for him, Hannah though there was something about him (love at first sight) with him. He went back thinking she made a mistake. He thought there were mutual feelings that were still there.

Chris points out that the discussion of how they view faith (not often discussed before) ended up being the parting of ways. Luke tries to come up with language to make it clear. There is a lot of silence.

I guess this is supposed to make for good TV, but I’m over this. He thinks that Hannah calling him a narcissist was taking things a little too far. Luke still has feelings for Hannah, but he knows she is not his person. Chris asks if Luke thinks he has made any mistakes. Luke said he wouldn’t change a thing if he could go back.

After a commercial break, Luke backtracks again saying that he would change a lot of things. He asks with the guys or with Hannah? Chris said maybe it all started with the guys. Luke P. says maybe it all started to go with Luke S. In watching back, he didn’t like the guy he was either.

Luke said he was on a rescue mission for Hannah (from the guys). Chris asks for clarification and Luke has to back up again. None of the other men have come out until now. Devin comes out to confront Luke. Devin says that there are two kinds of men: One that wants and independent woman and another that wants a woman he can control. Luke was the latter. Luke asks if he is going to get a chance to respond as Chris thanks Devin for coming out and dismisses. When Chris does give him a chance to answer, he needs some time to get his thoughts together. “The last thing that I want, and the last thing I will ever do is control a woman and I do want an independent woman in my life as my wife.” He continues on, but I don’t believe it. He tells the “contestants” that he is not there to argue, but they can bring it on.

After commercial, a bunch of men come out, including some that barely lasted a moment and we all forgot about long ago.

Luke is still in the hot seat, possibly away from the men for his own physical safety.

Chris asks Luke about why he couldn’t ever fix it with the guys. Luke said it was because he was the front runner and it would have ticked any of them off. He had a target on his back.

Mike points out that Luke put his own target there. He calmly points out how Luke has not changed.

Connor gives him props for showing up because he is about to step into a firestorm. He tells him to get ready for it.

Luke said it was hurtful to watch himself over the season and that he realizes how bad he was. Mike asks why anyone would forgive him because he changes his story constantly.

Grant (remember him – yeah, me neither) points out how Luke owes Tyler, Jed and Peter an apology because “No means no.”

Everyone has a little something to say.

Cam thanks Luke for making him (Cam) look like a saint.

More comments are made. More of the same. Luke does ask for forgiveness before moving on.

After another commercial break, Luke is sitting with the men, but still wants to have one more say before moving on. He says the men don’t really know who he is.

Next up in the hot seat is John Paul Jones. Why? No clue. What ensues is a montage of his few moments. I could be unpacking a box right now. A crazy woman with WWJPJD (what would John Paul Jones do) on her shirt asks to cut a piece of his hair like Hannah got to do on the show.

Moving on, the moments of Mike follow. I liked Mike. But I feel like I could be changing out loads of laundry right now.

At long last, Hannah arrives. After a little chit chat about facing all your ex-boyfriends, she jumps into talking about Luke. She will never say her feelings weren’t real, but there was a lot of insecurity in being THE Bachelorette. That first night, Luke made her feel like he was there for her, and she held onto that for too long.

They move on to talking about faith. She felt it was weaponized against her in the end. Luke shakes his head as Hannah talks about him. She then moves into her talk of plans or lack thereof for the fantasy suites.

She moves into being tired of being slut shamed and grace. Not on board with all she has to say. She is adamant that fantasy suites aren’t all about sex.

When they come back from the next break, Luke is gone. Supposedly, he’s catching a flight. We’re all ready to move on anyway.

Garrett apologizes for what went down and his part in it. You know, bologna tossing.

Finally, we end up with bloopers. The best part is Jed being freaked out by the cameraman zooming in on a makeout session. The reel wasn’t very long and there were no bugs involved this time. Bummer.

It closes with Hannah apologizing for a season of so much Luke. She shouldn’t have had him around so long, and she’s tired of talking about him.