Monday, July 15, 2013

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree (Bachelorette Recap)

Not sure why ABC didn't make a highlight video for this episode, but here is an awkward moment...





It's time for the hometown dates and just the previews for tonight make me understand why these guys are the way they are. Their families are 50 shades of crazy.

#1... Zak in Dallas, TX

Des cannot believe the guy who got out of the limo with his shirt off is still around. That's all you Des. You're the reason why he's still around.

She is going to get to meet 4 members of his family, but before that, he tells her about a dream. They were melting in the sand, then it started snowing. Something about a bunch of kids. I could follow it no more than she could. He runs off so that he could go get the family sno-cone truck. Oh. My. Goodness.

A bunch of children come out for sno-cones and they feed the masses. Then he runs out in a penguin suit. Remembering the first episode, I have to wonder if he was commando underneath.

Now, to meet the family, where he says his lunacy comes from. He tells his family about getting out of the limo and "will you accept these abs?" His family called him a weirdo. His mother has some roses on the table so that she can just go ahead and give Zak one.

She passes the test with the mom and sister. He brings out the guitar and sings the song he wrote for the pageant in Atlantic City, but his brother and sister sing a new version with the words change to fit coming from his family. I little creepy if you ask me.

He's ready to say "I love you" and give her a ring he bought in Atlantic City and has been carrying around the whole time.

#2... Drew in Scottsdale, AZ

Drew welcomes her with a sloppy kiss and is drunk on love. I lost track of who all is going to be there. His parents are divorced and it will be the first time his dad will go to his mom's house. (Cue Jaws music...)

They head out to pick up his severely handicapped sister. His love for his sister is really endearing. I'm not sure if she is going to fall in love with all of his family in the way he is convinced. She is going to be meeting 11 people. WOW. Overwhelming much?

Today he plans on telling his family that this is the woman he intends to spend the rest of his life with. As the youngest of 4, they are protective and don't want his heart to be broken.

While he tells his mom that he's told her about all the family warts, his dad is talking to Des. "Do you believe in angels? Have you ever met one?" Dad says that sister Melissa is one and that's what the deal behind picking her up was.

Dad gives Drew the blessing to propose and bring her into the the family. Des doesn't want to leave, and Drew confesses his love. He believes the next time he sees his family, he will be engaged. Good luck with that. I'm not so sure.

#3... Chris in McMinnville, OR

He too has fallen in love with her. There's a whole lot of fallen going on, and instead of broken hips, it will be broken hearts.

Chris played professional baseball. REALLY? See, I was just thinking during the last episode that I'd like some former pro players among my choice bachelors, but this guy does not strike me as a former baseball player. Not like any ball player I knew in college, at least. He writes poetry for Pete's sake.

They play baseball on the field that he played on as a child. She has a sketch book. I forgot about him getting down on one knee to tie his shoe on the first night. How cheezy.

His family means so much to him that Des is nervous - "they have to like me!" She has to meet the parents, three siblings and a sister-in-law.

They tell about her tweaking her back on one of their dates, so the chiropractor father takes her downstairs to adjust her and bring about clarity. He puts on his doctor's white shirt and tells her about the different things he is doing. She'd rather talk than have her butt sticking in the air while getting an adjustment.

Dad's awkward conversation... How does she take care of her body, eat, etc.? Then, Dad adjusts Chris' nose while they talk. Don't know what he just stuck up Chris' nose.

The family didn't like the last girlfriend - sister, mom, grandma - none of them. So liking Des is really important. Mom likes her a lot, but only admits after a pregnant pause when Chris says he thinks Des is the one. Des somehow gets the blessing.

#4... Brooks in Salt Lake City, UT

Now that I realize his hometown, this explains so much to me. Don't ask me to explain that to you though.

He's still trying to figure out how he feels about Des. Ohmygoodness, he's not in love! Because moments are short lived and they aren't together all the time, he kind of forgets the feelings they have when they are together. They rehash their time together.

They almost fall out of the canoe on the lake. Smooth. Now soggy, they go to meet his family. Lots of people to meet, and a group of men bear hug her. They all have name tags which is fortunate for her. She too thinks she needs approval due to the family's influence over him.

These dinner conversations are so awkward. Mom thinks there are tender "love looks." A brother asks if she could hang with him. Evidently, he's rather spontaneous or something? He has a lot of brothers. A sister gives him advice about how it should feel. The family asked hard questions, but he feels more comfortable after the day. Brooks says he's closer to feeling like he's met the right one than ever before, but I am not convinced.

Mom gives approval, for what it's worth.

Back in Los Angeles after visiting the guys, Des needs to talk to her brother. He was a psycho when he met Sean. She even says he pretty much ruined it for her. She wants to tell her brother that she does not want him around to meet the guys if he is going to act that way this time around.

Zak is adventurous, Drew is the sweetest guy you would ever meet, Chris is athletic and great at everything, and Brooks is quirky and gets her.

Brother really wants to meet the guys. I think he really just wants to mess with their heads.

Chris Harrison and Des have a sit down. Chris H. asks if she is still thinking she is in love with Brooks, even though he hasn't said it. Chris has no qualms about saying it, Drew loudly asserted it, Zak even said it. She is hopeful and can see a proposal coming... with Brooks. He ranks #4 to me.

Here comes the rose ceremony. As the guys come into the hotel, Chris Harrison welcomes each individually and walks them to an elevator. Des' brother is lurking around a corner, but doesn't jump out and say, "boo!"

Oh no, she's already in tears. Meeting the families made her rose decision so much harder.

Brooks gets the first rose. WHY? Chris gets the second rose. IF ONLY she had her the conversation between Chris and his dad. The final rose goes to Drew. Really not a surprise. She's never been that into Zak.

He makes some face contortions before she walks him out. The guys don't think Zak saw it coming. He does say he is completely shocked. She's not in the same place that he is. He's pretty speechless as he drives away. He's going back to a dark place. I'm not sure that any of these guys are in a good place emotionally. He throws the ring she gave him back out the window.

Next week is the "men tell all" episode. That should be explosive, especially bringing back the guys that the other guys really hated.

In two weeks, it will be the magic moment. I think Brooks may take himself out of the running. 

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