Paul and Barney and Si

I may get kicked out of my Sunday school teaching position at some point. I just have this feeling.

This quarter, I've been teaching Kindergarten, and I've been doing good do keep us on track, much less take videos, etc.

I do have to throw in that while I still have two soon-to-be 7th graders still stalking me at church, I may have a soon-to-be 1st grader join them. I sit around different spots in the table each Sunday. I sat down next to one little boy last week who was excited about that for some reason. He scooted closer to me, then planted his feet practically right on top of mine. Aye carumba! How did I create yet another monster?

Anyway, back to me being a bad teacher.

Last week were singing, the whale did swallow Jo-jo-jonah. I did point out that the Bible said "fish", but I didn't know of a fish other than a whale (yes, I know a whale is technically a mammal) that could actually swallow a person. One very inquisitive little boy asked if Jonah was spit out or came out the blow hole. Now, that'd have to be a really big whale to have that big of a blow hole.

I picked up my Bible, read the verse from the ESV that uses the word vomit. Some giggles, but mostly "ewwwws" ensued. The boy who asked almost got sick with the word being said.

Bad Audra. Bad, bad, Audra.

As you know, I've been trying to teach the kids new songs. I faked my way through a verse of "I've Been Redeemed," and they knew it. So, every time I sing a verse of a song they have not heard before (like the 2nd and 3rd verses of "Jesus Loves the Little Children"), I am now asked if I made up the verses. Noooooooooooooooooo. It was just that one time.

Now I forever shall be questioned.

Today's class was about Paul's first missionary journey, so we talked about Barnabas. One of the kids asked if Barnabas was ever called "Barney." I can't say for sure, but I'm thinking not so much.

This is where I'm probably really going to get in trouble. "Next week we are going to talk about someone else who traveled with Paul. His name was Silas. Does anyone know someone named Silas, or maybe Si?"

Yes, I was going there.

"There's a guy named Si on show about hunting."

"My mom loves Duck Dynasty."

"Well, I can tell you one thing. This Si didn't bring his gallon of tea on his missionary journey."

Yeah, we may get side tracked next week. I admit it. And it's all my fault.